Would you have/ go to a baby shower now?

[ReginaaPhalange]

I'm in the process of arranging a small baby shower (20 guests - 75% family and 25% my closest friends). It's booked at the moment for November but I'm starting to get a bit..... unsure?? I'm due 6 weeks after the shower and holding it in November before Christmas gets into full swing etc.

Main reason is obviously covid. My mum has an undiagnosed respiratory condition and some other members of the family invited have asthma etc. They have all said they want to come - we have a small private venue booked.

I work in healthcare, so I am fully aware of the local number of cases and hospital admissions, and things aren't getting any better where I am.

My DH is concerned as I'm obviously pregnant, and we both know that the health board is preparing for another bad spell this winter (certainly the case where we work).

What I'm asking is, would you go to a baby shower in November? Would you feel comfortable?
I'm swaying more to cancel it, but my mum says to wait a few weeks and decide then.
WWYD?

I think you're mad. At that point of my pregnancy last November I was isolating pretty much.

@tigerbreadandtea mad...? I'd say optimistic 😜 but yes, I think since the schools have returned, it's not helped the cases...

I think the complete opposite of pp, you’d be mad to cancel. Enjoy yourself and your pregnancy, 20 people isn’t a lot at all. I had my shower in May at 36 weeks and it was lovely to see everyone as a lot of people hadn’t actually seen me pregnant yet. You absolutely don’t need to completely isolate, that is overkill in my opinion. It saddens me that people are missing out on things like this due to scaremongering.

I wouldn’t organise one, and I probably wouldn’t attend one as a regular guest. As I’m pregnant, I wouldn’t organise or attend

Is it outdoors, are these people that are sensible/vaccinated/doing lateral flow tests/'good with hand washing?
I probably would be happy to meet with 20 people outdoors at that stage of pregnancy but guessing since November is not renowned for brilliant weather that it would be indoors.....
If I were you I would do a few smaller gatherings, maybe go for drinks or for afternoon tea, do things in smaller groups if you have to be indoors.

No. I’m due in December so baby shower would probably have been Oct/Nov… I didn’t want a shower but did want a gathering. We won’t; though, it feels too risky for us & guests.

I wouldn’t go to one at the moment either - I’d feel bad if I went to something which meant the pregnant woman or her partner got Covid, especially if he then missed the birth, and I have a friend that happened to last November… he wasn’t allowed into hospital. It’s affected her a lot.

Not sure I would view 20 people as a small baby shower to be honest.

My friends are throwing me one in a couple of weeks time... I'll be 38 weeks pregnant, and there are around 35 folk going.

We are going to try our best, weather dependent, to stay outdoors with gazebos, and everyone coming is double vaccinated and will do LFT's before coming.

For the record, I'm also double vaccinated, which I think does make a difference to the advice here!

It did cross my mind that it might be insane, but also - we're doing everything we can to offset risk, and organising a gathering well within current guidelines. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone with my big baby bump!!

I'd go!

I'm 30 weeks pregnant only had one vaccination so far and I'd still go 🤷

Do it! Enjoy the party and your pregnancy x

Yeah I would, enjoy every minute 😁 x

I was planning on having my baby shower then with the same number of people..

I am double vaccinated and I feel like I’ve already missed out on soo much already in the last 1 1/2 years. Last winter we didn’t have the vaccine does this mean every winter we all hide in our house and never do anything until spring 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm having one early October with 7-8 people including myself and currently working out how to word "please do a quick home test before you come". It's at home and hoping early enough to have a few windows open. Anymore people and I'd feel claustrophobic and anxious which would defeat the idea of the day of having fun with close loved ones.

As PPs say, it would be such a shame to miss out but also worth balancing everything out to avoid risk where possible. Could you consider rescheduling earlier to October before things do start to (potentially) turn?

I think the main questions here are:

1. Are you and your partner fully vaccinated?
2. Are your guests fully vaccinated?
3. Will your guests be taking lateral flow tests the day of / day before?
4. How good is the ventilation in the venue?

If the answers are yes to 1-3 and “very good” to 4, then the overall risk of covid is low, and since it’s six weeks before your due date then it’s likely that even if you were to catch it you would recover and be testing negative by the time you went into labour.

If your answer to question 1 is no however, then I think it would be madness to go ahead given the risks of covid for unvaccinated pregnant women in the third trimester.

If it’s yes to 1, but mixed results on the other questions, then it will come down to your personal level of risk appetite…

If you feel comfortable then go for it! Can't hide away from things forever and it would be a shame to allow this to affect your pregnancy experience

Sorry to be negative. My friend threw me a little gathering on Saturday. I was 37 weeks. Around 10 of us. Now 7 of us including me (vaccinated) have covid. So I'm 38 weeks with covid and could go into labour any time. Plus all the people closer to me have it too! So can't help or support. I'd be cautious if I were you. Would hate you to be in my predicament. I don't know how I will cope feeling this poorly if I go into labour.

Yes I would do it! I caught Covid whilst pregnant at 21 weeks and I did nothing that week out of the ordinary so it must have been a food shop or a trip to the library. You really can’t avoid it unless your whole household is isolating. If you want a baby shower and don’t feel too anxious about it, then go for it. Any guests would be sensible around a pregnant person, keep their distance and probably do a lateral flow if asked if that’s what you would prefer. X

If you feel that you can relax and enjoy it then I would go for it. I had one around 33 weeks pregnant last year in the garden and it was lovely to see all my friends I hadn’t seen for so long. I also just recently attended a shower for my friend who is at a similar stage I was last year. All she asked was that we took a lft before attending.

For what it’s worth I did catch covid at around 38 weeks from DP’s work which really annoyed me as we were being so careful at that point… feel like I’d have deserved to catch it more if it had been at a social event 😂

I wouldn't risk it. Covid in later pregnancy can be very nasty and can actually be life-threatening for mother and baby, and even a mild case could have significant implications for labour, healthcare appointments, etc.

My decision would differ depending on vaccination status of everyone and where it is being held.
I think the covid risk assessment on BBC is quite good too for making decisions.

I went to one today for a friend but it was 8 people and we were outside in the gorgeous weather for most of it. I’m not pregnant but don’t know if I’d go to an indoor party for 20 in November anyway and I’m fully vaccinated.

Just play it by ear and hopefully you’re up to it and it can go ahead if you want it to.

We had one a few weeks ago for my friend (she’s had one vaccine). It was just a lunch with a group of 5 of us though, not a big party.

I had my baby last month and I don’t like those kind of things anyway so didn’t want a baby shower but was going to have a small gathering in my garden with my 10 closest friends. Even though it was outside I was way too worried about covid to have it so decided to cancel and did nothing. I basically isolated but I’m glad I did. My little boy got here safely and I have no way of knowing whether that would be the case if I’d caught covid before it. Everyone views it differently. I wasn’t vaccinated so that obviously made it more risky but personally I just didn’t think a silly baby shower was worth that risk

I’m having one in November and so looking forward to it! The people who are attending aren’t random people , they’re very close friends and family, it’s not like you’re inviting strangers into your home. I’m sorry but we still have the right to enjoy our pregnancies, so much has been taken away over the last couple of years, we need to make the most of everything. I’ll probs ask my guests to take LFT before coming to be safe but yeah, I trust my close friends and family and can’t wait to enjoy this time with them

I personally would carry on with it, it will be great to have a special family event together. But I'm double jabbed, I would want all my guests to be as well to feel more comfortable.
Seeing as they're close family and friends being invited why not ask them now to take a LFT the morning before the shower? Just have the same message sent out to everyone explaining how excited you are for the shower, but because we're still in a pandemic then you want to take every precaution and that means taking a test before attending. Also you can politely explain how much of a risk catching Covid later in pregnancy is, and that you'll have vulnerable guests in attendance. And I would include something along the lines of, if you feel uncomfortable at all with attending or taking a test beforehand then it's absolutely not a problem. Y
How you completely understand and you'll look forward to catching up with them another time.
X

If you’re double vaccinated it’s a completely different answer to if you’re not.