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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did your husband stay with you in hospital?

65 replies

WheelieBinPrincess · 10/09/2021 20:23

And if they did, was it a hindrance or a help?

I’m having a c-section on Tuesday, and stupidly forgot to ask the actual policy on it. DH is making noises about going home for the night to get some rest, and to be honest ordinarily I wouldn’t actually WANT him to stay as that’s two of us not getting any sleep, potentially squishing into a bed etc. But I think the ward policy is partners allowed overnight, and since I’ll have just had surgery, will I need him to stay from a practical point of view? I’m not sure how much help I’ll get from any staff in the middle of the night if I need to pick up the baby for example.

Did your husbands/partners stay with you after?

OP posts:

Clammyclam · 10/09/2021 21:35

My sister ha s just had ELCS her husband was allowed to stay for 3 hours and then had to go. No visiting allowed- just allowed back to collect her.
She struggled today Tbh.

However I was in for 2 nights before being induced a few years ago in a 4 bed ward- two men with their partners also waiting to be induced refused to leave. Nurses couldn't get them to leave.

So I was put in a side room for my own comfort (thanks to a wonderful midwife) it was horrid feeling so vulnerable & only having a curtain between us. I didn't like the side room as I felt lonely/ but I at least felt safer.

What a waste of resources because 2 men were being selfish. That room could have gone to another lady.

I'm still sad about this

Clammyclam · 10/09/2021 21:37

So what I'm saying is- unless you are in side room I don't think it's fair on other women that men are allowed to stay.

Boombadoom · 10/09/2021 21:37

Yes - with my second. He has to sleep in a chair as he wasn’t allowed in my bed and they didn’t provide beds.

He was a massive help. Whenever the baby cried, he helped by passing to me to feed and back again. Did nappies, helped me to the toilet etc. It was like having my own personal midwife.

Infact I didn’t see a midwife at all really, I had a private room and it was perfect.

mocktheweek1 · 10/09/2021 21:46

At my hospital it was all private rooms as well, I sent DP home to sleep so I could sleep when he got back in the morning. Had a catheter in so didn't need up for the toilet. Managed baby mostly ok but the midwives were lovely and came when I rang the bell

HotPotatoHotPotato21 · 10/09/2021 22:34

First baby born in 2019 and partners were allowed to stay over on the chair. I was in four nights in total, did send him home for one of those to get some sleep and it was awful. I would have discharged myself earlier if my husband couldn't stay. Midwives ignoring the bell and had a baby that wouldn't latch. Currently partners can only visit one hour per day on post natal ward due to covid. It was a very emotional time those first few days after birth and I absolutely needed my husband. Due any day now and I am dreading the post natal ward far more than actually giving birth.

unicornpower · 10/09/2021 23:19

I think it’s fine in private rooms but they definitely shouldn’t be allowed to stay on the ward (IMO). I’m currently on an induction ward and partners have to go by 9pm. They aren’t meant to use the toilet on the ward as it’s ladies only, the gents is down the corridor but someone’s partner obviously didn’t care, left the toilet seat up and lo and behold the toilet is blocked and out of order for all of us now I mean obviously this isn’t the case everywhere but it’s bloody annoying that we now have to walk much further when we are all in different stages of induction!

LazySundayPlease · 10/09/2021 23:22

Mine didn't stay after first child. For the second I needed him as couldn't walk or sit up.

lillylemons · 10/09/2021 23:24

Both hospitals I've given birth in partners have not been able to stay overnight.

welshweasel · 10/09/2021 23:29

I had two sections and DH went home overnight both times. Meant he was rested so when I came home he could take over so I could sleep. First time I was in a private room and second time in a bay of other section patients. Midwives were great - they did all the nappy changes and lifted baby out for feeds. I was home within 24 hours so no drama really.

Smurf123 · 10/09/2021 23:31

I had my daughter at the end of July - dh wasn't even allowed up to the ward straight after she was born. Wasn't a cams but rules were the same. Due to covid visiting hours only. Visiting hour was 7-8pm. She was born close to midnight, dh was allowed to stay for 1hr after birth before I was moved up to the ward, we got discharged about 5 the following evening dh didn't get to see her again until he brought in the car seat.
I'd been in hospital for a week and in the delivery suite for 30 hours before birth and had an epidural so was completely shattered and couldn't feel or move my legs at all so had to buzz for a nurse anytime dd cried during the night

Original poster

WheelieBinPrincess · 11/09/2021 08:23

Such a big difference in hospital policies with regards to birth partners. some of these are really strict.

OP posts:

moomin11 · 11/09/2021 08:28

No c section but I was got ready for an emergency one so had a spinal block so was numb from the waist down, partner was home so I just buzzed the midwife if baby woke up which I think was just once. She slept a lot which apparently is quite normal after a stressful birth.

turnthebiglightoff · 11/09/2021 08:36

I had a very difficult 4 day labour and stayed in for 3 nights after. The only night my husband didn't stay was the night baby was born, as I had 2 nurses and a midwife assigned to me. I don't know what I would have done if he wasn't there. He slept on the floor for 6 nights. If a woman wants a man with her, she should absolutely be able to. I'll never change my mind about that. I was very ill and unable to even get my water bottle at times.

kikisparks · 11/09/2021 12:23

Last I heard about my hospital partners can only visit for 2 hours a day- so new mothers have 22 hours a day managing alone with baby after birth. If that’s still the case when I give birth then I hope I’ll be discharged as soon as possible!

CloseYourMouthLynn · 11/09/2021 13:12

Mine didn't as I had a straightforward birth and I didn't see the point in us both not sleeping. I can see how it would be different if someone had a difficult birth and needed support.
I was unlucky and had a bad experience as another woman's husband stayed and snored all night! I really wish I'd complained because it was completely disruptive.
I'm due again in a couple of months and hope that partners can't stay overnight, because some people are very inconsiderate in shared wards.

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