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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sonographer called the baby “HE” & “HIS”

41 replies

Trustynickname · 09/09/2021 13:18

Hey all

I have got too 34+5 weeks without knowing the gender, it has been tough and I have been curious but I am excited for the surprise.

I had a growth scan today & the lady asked me if I am having a surprise I said yes and she told me too look away when she was looking at the legs.

Straight after the scan she said come and have a look at “his” growth & then she continued to say “he” is growing well etc.

Did she slip up?! Do you think! Or is this something others have experienced? Is it just a phrase. She wasn’t calling them he before the scan so I feel like my surprise has gone out the window lol.

Opinions please x

OP posts:

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Arecklessmanor · 09/09/2021 13:26

Some say he or she to avoid saying 'it' which sounds a bit impersonal so I'd just put it down to that, and wait to find out in 5 weeks or so. That is exciting!

AlfonsoTheMango · 09/09/2021 13:27

How very dare the sonographer! How do they know how the baby identifies? It might want to use them / they / zir pronouns.

10ColaBottles · 09/09/2021 13:29

Mine did the same. I was gutted.

It was a girl 😊

MilkRunningOutAgain · 09/09/2021 13:30

I had exactly this with DC2, who turned out to be female! I think some people use he, his etc as a general pronoun. But it is of course possible that the sonographer slipped up.

10ColaBottles · 09/09/2021 13:30

@10ColaBottles

Mine did the same. I was gutted.

It was a girl 😊

To add, gutted that the surprise was ruined. Not that baby was possibly male!

Greenmarmalade · 09/09/2021 13:30

Could definitely be something the sonographer chooses to say rather than ‘they/their.’

Plumtree391 · 09/09/2021 13:31

Better than saying 'it' I suppose.

Does it really matter?

Soubriquet · 09/09/2021 13:32

I think it was the general he not he as in it’s a boy

It feels impersonal to say it

Ughmaybenot · 09/09/2021 13:32

I expect it was just to avoid calling baby ‘it’ which isn’t the nicest term. They/them implies more than one and that could be alarming too. We didn’t find out whether we’re having a boy or a girl but I really struggle with what to call baby myself!

AlfonsoTheMango · 09/09/2021 13:34

Rather than asking random people on the Internet, why not ask the sonographer?

Thefaceofboe · 09/09/2021 13:35

Chances are it’s just random. My midwife calls the baby she, but my consultant says he. I mentioned it and they said it’s just a habit and they don’t know the sex either.

SoupDragon · 09/09/2021 13:35

so I feel like my surprise has gone out the window

Except you still don't know whether it is a boy or whether the sonographer just used "he" for convenience.

stormelf · 09/09/2021 13:35

Not exactly the same but for my 20 week scan the sonographer was referring to baby as he, his etc. At the end he asked if we wanted to find out the sex, which he did, and he confirmed we were having a girl. I guess maybe saying he is better than it

driftcompatible · 09/09/2021 13:37

Was the scan ok? The baby is fine? Measuring ok? The sonographer said 'he' not 'no heart beat'. Who cares he/she/they. It's sex btw not gender. The job of the sonographer is not to protect your 'surprise' but to monitor the health of the baby.

romdowa · 09/09/2021 13:37

Any sonographer I've seen always says baby this and baby that. They generally don't use pronouns at all.

Sawyersfishbiscuits · 09/09/2021 13:43

With DC1 the consultant referred to the baby during the scan as a "handsome baby"... so I spent the rest of the pregnancy wondering if he meant the baby was a boy...
She was a she 😊

Ughmaybenot · 09/09/2021 13:49

Also! I had to go in for monitoring due to reduced movements (baby then took this as their cue to do the cha cha, Sod’s law!!) but anyway! The midwife said ‘your son is absolutely fine, his heart rate is xyz’ but, as far as I could tell, she had no way at all of knowing whether we are having a boy or a girl given she’d just listened to baby’s heart rate and their movements at that point, so sometimes they just slip up I guess, or maybe draw assumptions? I don’t know.

SoupDragon · 09/09/2021 13:50

@driftcompatible

So tedious 🙄

Willow19C · 09/09/2021 13:52

Before every appointment, I would say to the medical member of staff, I don't know what I'm having, would you rather say he or she in the appointment? And then the sonographer or whoever was seeing me would say "I'll say he" and then we'd address the elephant in the room before it became an issue.

I had a girl :)

WTF475878237NC · 09/09/2021 13:53

When I was in for complications they had not recorded the baby's sex at all during previous scans and most just referred to baby as he. Someone even said I call all baby's he, do you know what you're having when I was leaving.

Willow19C · 09/09/2021 13:54

@driftcompatible

This is awful. You are allowed to want to find out the sex as a surprise. You can still want your baby to be healthy as well as having a surprise at the end. This is so stupid and a horrible thing to say.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 09/09/2021 14:00

I've always wondered this, I reckon the sonographer just has to pick a pronoun. By the sounds of it, it wasn't confirmation and you can carry on still not knowing.

Shhhhhhhshh · 09/09/2021 14:02

Mine did this.
It was a girl.

Original poster

Trustynickname · 09/09/2021 14:02

I really didn’t mean to come across as if I am extremely bothered about the sex, I don’t mind what it is I’m just excited that’s all! She didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not as if I’m going to file a complaint about it ffs lol. Im just wondering if it happened to any other moms and if I can assume it is a DS now.

Yes the baby is healthy and I’m extremely glad, it’s really not a huge issue I was just asking opinions lol, like pp said, I’m allowed to want a surprise! The sonographer even asked if I was having a surprise. Chill out

OP posts:

bangingbins · 09/09/2021 14:07

Not the same but when I comment on animals I see I always use he/fella. Unless it's a dog with a pink collar or obvious balls or teets

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