This will be long:
to answer your question - this is my story and my beliefs - my dh and I are two of 'those' people who knowingly brought a child with special needs into the world.
We were originally told that our dd1 had a very severe heart defect at 20 week scan - one which would require multiple surgeries before the age of one and if she survived to be a teenager - a transplant.
We were then sent to the Harris Birthright Trust at Kings for fetal cardiac scans. It turned out our dd1 had a different heart defect - serious but operable with a more positive outcome.
We had decided prior to the cardiac scans at Kings that this was our babe and she would be born - as I said earlier - who is to judge the worth of a life.
We were told exactly what the heart defect was and told that it usually always is found with down syndrome - very rarely is a child with this type of heart defect born without down syndrome.
Again - I think after being worried and saddened to learn that our babe would have a heart defect - the ds seemed to be okay. IN fact when the fetal cardiologist explained it to us - we were very reassured. He was quite puzzled - he did say that we were very calm compared to most people he sees. he then read my notes more carefully and saw that original suggestion and said he understood why we were calm.
As I said before - we know three families who have members with down syndrome - one fella is the same age as me, the other is 21, the third is a teenager now. Whilst there can be tough days - as there can be with any children - we did not see down syndrome as something to be afraid of.
How did we react when we first got the news - at the 20 week scan when they told us about the possibility that dd1 would have a hypoplastic left heart - stunned, worried. We went home and read everything we could get our hands on about it. We were worried for our child - would she survive, would she be okay.
WHen we were given the news about the down syndrome - yes I did cry - again - what worried me - would I be up to the task of being the best mother dd1 could have, and I cried for all the imagined hurts and slights I saw in her future. I cried for all the prejudice she will face. I cried thinking of how this little one would survive the cardiac surgery that she would face.
Do I wish she had never been born - hell no.
Is she adored and loved as much as our other daughters - yes.
Five years down the track - I can honestly say that all those worries I had - well most of them have gone. She is a fighter and came through the cardiac surgery well - she is a healthy, happy, adorable little girl. She attends a mainstream kindergarten as well as a special needs unit. She is a very sociable little girl - she is doing most things a 5 yo can do - we are working on toilet training but I know she will not be in nappies when she is 18 - she will be able to hold a job, have a life of quality and of independence. In January she is off to mainstream school to start her formal schooling.
You know the hardest things I have had to deal with in raising my daughter - other than her cardiac surgery - other people's ignorance and attitudes. Society's view that my child is somehow worth less than another.