'I also think that it's natural to want your child to not be disabled given the choice. In nature, animals reject their young if things aren't quite right because they would not survive in their environment'
true, but then do animals have heart surgery, ho9spitals, benefits systems etc? That makes a huge difference
My experience is that ds3 was screened as having a high risk of downs syndrome (he's now 4.5), we chose not to have Amnio at the last minute- miscarriage risks, etc etc. Plus I know I was lucky in that I had experience nursing peolpe with DS so had probably a bteer idea of ther ealities of disability than some people.
DS3 doesn't have DS. he has Autism. Something that cannot be screened for.
Ths time aorund (I am 24 weeks pregnant with my 4ths on) I have taken the decision to skip tests as in relaity, DS is perhaps the least likely disability to affect the baby having 2 asd siblings, but also because I have learned the lesson that we would cope. Just at times certainly, but somehow.
I'm not anti termination, I think its a crying shame that more people don't have experience of disabilities in their community / educational history as I feels trongly that people would be a lot less scared if they had experienced the reality of what disability means. I hope that world will come about one day.
Please don't refer to disabled children as not quite right in any contxt though- nobody ahs ever met my ds3 and failed to adore him; he is perfect in every sense of the word and very treasured.
I am sorry for your loss, I hope you have plenty of time to grieve and that you get your family in the future if that is what you wish. God bless.