Is anyone else having this problem with midwives? I'm fuming!

[Harlequin1088]

Absolutely bloody furious. Midwives have just called me to cancel my booking appointment for tomorrow due to “staff sickness” and given a vague “oh someone will be in touch to book another one with you soon”. No idea of timescale or how soon that will be. Is this what it’s going to be like the whole way through???

I’m nearly 8 weeks pregnant with my first child and haven’t seen or spoken to a single midwife yet. We had an ectopic pregnancy back in April and we're understandably very anxious.

We managed to get a 6 week scan through pure chance the other week when we were at a counselling session with the Pregnancy Loss Nurse and she mentioned the Sonographer down the corridor had had a cancellation and would we like to be scanned there and then. Luckily, the scan showed baby was in the right place (definitely not ectopic this time) and we saw their little heartbeat bobbing away on the screen.

That aside, we've had diddly squat from the actual midwives themselves. It took me two weeks of phoning numbers that were either dead numbers or just rang out with no reply and leaving messages on voicemails at various antenatal numbers to actually speak to anyone who would organise a booking appointment for me. Spoke to GP about this and told it was nothing to do with him and to keep trying midwives.

Now my booking appointment that I spent weeks trying to get hold of someone to arrange has now been cancelled. I'm absolutely frantic about it. I'm anxious enough as it is because of what happened in my last pregnancy and I don't need the added stress of feeling I've got no support either.

Please - is anyone else experiencing this issue with the midwifery services at the moment or have I just got a rubbish NHS Trust in my area?

I feel so afraid that something is going to go wrong and nothing will be picked up until it's too late 😥

I’m nearly 8 weeks pregnant with my first child and haven’t seen or spoken to a single midwife yet. We had an ectopic pregnancy back in April and we're understandably very anxious
I understand you being anxious and congratulations but 8 weeks is very early, I can't remember seeing anyone at that stage and that was 20 years ago.

My booking in spot was at 11 weeks; my 12 week scan was at 14 weeks. It's not unusual.

Spot = appt

In some areas the first time they see a midwife is at the 12 week scan. I can totally understand your anxiety with what you have been through but you need to adjust your expectations. If something were to happen there is not a lot any of the midwives could do anyway, until 24 weeks pregnant the baby isn't viable so there is not a lot they can do. Sorry that sounds so cold, but I just want to manage your expectations.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Many people won't hear from their midwives until ~12 weeks.

I understand you're anxious due to past events, but you know this pregnancy is in the right location and you've seen the heartbeat, so I'd focus on calming down, or it'll be a very long 40 weeks!

Which trust are you in? Typically they do not do much health wise on booking, just admin - then book appts for 13 week dating scan, 16 mw appt then depending on your risk factors other alots.

If you are unhappy contact your local trusts maternity voices partnership who can escalate your concerns or give pointers on what to expect?

You won’t be a priority until after 12 weeks.

I didn't see a midwife until after my twelve week scan.

I remember being at the hospital thinking it was weird that you just say you are pregnant and they just take your word for it and what if I'd done the test wrong.

I’m nearly 25 weeks pregnant and have met my midwife once, last week. She’s already cancelled our next appointment for staff shortages. A locum did my 16 week appt; it was literally just a urine sample - my booking in appt was over the phone with no notice.

It is an anxious time, but the medical support has been pretty dire for me; and I’m a FTM too… I’d prepare yourself for it being poor, and do lots of reading to prep yourself.

All the online calendars which say you’ll get Dopplers/measurements/advice etc hasn’t been the case for me at all so far.

Hi OP. This sounds really tough for you, I'm sorry. I also had an ectopic before my first healthy pregnancy so I understand the fear very well!

It's a real shame that your appointment was cancelled, but you are in the system now, and it's not unusual at all not to see a midwife until around week 10 of your pregnancy, most of the time they don't seem to really consider you 'pregnant' until 8 weeks. It's really good that you had an early scan and you know baby is in the right place, too. All that considered, I don't think you need to be frantic.

It would be worth asking the GP if you are calling the right number for the midwife as it doesn't sound normal to never be able to get through.

It would be worth having a think about what additional support you would like, so you can specifically ask for it when you see your midwife, as in my experience the standard appointments are few and far between in early pregnancy.

You also say you are worried about something going wrong and it being too late. Remember that most early losses cannot be prevented regardless of whether they are predicted, and also since you saw the heartbeat your chances of a healthy pregnancy are now very good.

The guidance in our trust was that a booking in appointment would take place at 8-10 weeks. I was asked to go at 11 weeks so slight delay but in honesty the booking in appointment was quite a lot of form filling. Yes they take your blood pressure, bloods and urine and those results should be available for your 12 week scan and that’s when things ramp up slightly.

I know it’s frustrating but there isn’t much to do yet. I was incredibly anxious too and booked in a private scan so do understand.

Appreciate you are anxious but you need to step back and try and rationalise.

Most people don't hear from midwives u too 12weeks ish.

You're lucky and have had a scan already.

People get sick, would you rather they come to work and make pregnant women ill?

IF something was wrong it wouldn't be picked up on your booking appt and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

Suggest you get help with your anxiety or it's going to be a long 9 months.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Sorry you are so stressed, it is difficult when the path hasn't been smooth.

My booking appointment was cancelled as midwives were self-isolating.
The rearranged booking appointment was a few days before the 12 week scan. It was by phone so I had an appointment to go to the hospital a few days before to have blood taken, check blood pressure and leave in urine sample and have height and weight measured.

My next midwife appointment at 16 weeks was also cancelled due to staff shortages and then rearranged.

For reassurance while you wait you can always book a private scan.

At this point bear in mind that this pregnancy is in the correct location, there is not much more for the midwife to check.
If you feel unwell or experience any worrying symptoms contact them.

The booking appointment was a lot about family medical history, also about whether my mother or sisters had any complications in childbirth. So maybe if that's relevant you can find out now in advance.

The waiting is hard but you can't do much about it unless you choose to go private.
I'd be more concerned with making sure the 12 week scan is on time if you are choosing to have the NT screening done, I've seen a few posters have had issues with that.

I had similar OP so I understand but generally (even after a loss etc) you won't see a midwife until week 12 and a scan soon thereafter. Plus it's really not their fault that staff are sick, we are all only human

I’m so sorry for you past loss and I absolutely understand your anxiety, but 10-12 weeks is not unusual for a first/booking in appointment. Also, this may vary from trust to trust but I found very little medical checks go on in this appointment - it’s mostly an information-gathering exercise for the midwifes, they take your medical history and get you ‘in the system’. So don’t feel you are missing out on time-sensitive care.

If you’ve had an early scan with a heartbeat that is the most positive reassurance you could have right now - I paid for private early scans with my two DC due to previous loss and anxiety. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy x

I understand that you are anxious but, in the nicest way possible, you need to gain some perspective.

You have seen a heartbeat and know that your baby is in the right place. That's very positive.

The risk of miscarriage is still high before 12 weeks which is why booking appointments and scans aren't done till that stage.

We are still in a pandemic and the NHS is massively stretched. Being livid due to an (early) 8week appointment being cancelled is an overreaction. Maybe it'll help you to speak to a counsellor about how you're feeling as you have a long pregnancy road ahead of you.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable yes. Take a deep breath. It's a very anxious time for everyone and made worse when you've had a previous pregnancy loss but I'm sure the cancellation couldn't be helped if they have staff shortages. 8 weeks is actually quite early for a booking in appointment anyway. Go for a walk, do some journaling, have a bath. Anything that might help with the anxiety but I wouldn't get cross with the midwives unnecessarily

@Stuckinstressville

Which trust are you in? Typically they do not do much health wise on booking, just admin - then book appts for 13 week dating scan, 16 mw appt then depending on your risk factors other alots.

If you are unhappy contact your local trusts maternity voices partnership who can escalate your concerns or give pointers on what to expect?

It's Shrewsbury & Telford NHS Trust so Shropshire-based. They had a few serious case reviews recently due to chronic failings that caused various unnecessary baby deaths so I'm just so surprised that a Trust under that much scrutiny is as wishy washy as I've experienced so far. I'm sure I've seen someone mention the Maternity Voices in our area so I'll do some digging around that.

Nothing happens at the booking appointment anyway. If you’re worried about foetus development private scans are the way to go.

I had my 16 week appointment 2 weeks ago and my poor midwife was having to run 3 clinics all on her own as they had 5 midwives (and it was a relatively small team to start with) off sick. I get you're disappointed but you are only 8 weeks, your booking appointment can take place at any point up to 12 weeks so you are one of the ones that can be moved, those further along have to have checks at certain weeks so would be harder to move.
If you're at 11 weeks and still no booking appointment and scan date then yes throw your toys out the pram but at the minute just stay calm, you might be rebooked in again in a couple of days. I know you said you're anxious because your last pregnancy was ectopic but you already know this one isn't.

You’re only 8 week, so early. I didn’t see anyone that early with any of my 3. I’ll sure you’ll be seen before your first scan.

Totally understand your worry but I didn’t have my booking in until 10 weeks. Had my first scan at 13 weeks and second one at 21 weeks. The services are stretched at the minute and I know it can be scary but they will prioritise you if necessary.

Midwives, just like the rest of the population get sick and it can't be helped (I am one so I know!). They have called to inform you and have let you know that they will be in touch to rearrange...assumingly when they know about their staff member returning. This isn't a 'midwife' fault thing, the same scenario could have happened if you were paying tens of thousands for a private OB. The gold standard for bookings is at or prior to 12 weeks, 8 is very early so they are clearly on the ball. You have seen the heartbeat so take some reassurance from that and be a little patient. You wouldn't see/hear it at this appointment anyway, it is taking your medical history, blood pressure, urine test and maybe some bloods. Nothing that can't wait a couple of weeks.

I completely understand your anxiety. I had a late miscarriage with my first pregnancy and was very anxious next time round. but you have been fortunate to have had an early scan and you know the baby is in the right place and have seen the heart beat.
Can you explain what it is you want/need from the midwives at this point?
It is normal not to have a booking appointment until 12 weeks onwards. There simply aren't the resources to provide this for every woman.
I am trying to say this as carefully as possible, because I understand the worry. But unfortunately, statistically, a significant number of pregnancies are lost prior to 12 weeks and there is no difference an earlier booking appointment would make.
Try your best to relax. I know it is difficult.

12 weeks is normal. Sadly many pregnancies fail in first 12 weeks which is why most people advice to not tell other people until past 12 weeks.
If the midwives booked appointments before 12 weeks there would be a high level of “wasted” resources spent on those failed pregnancies. It sounds callous I know, but it is the reality and there is nothing anyone can do for miscarriage in the time frame. At the end of the day there is some clinical guidance on where funding is best spent. I am surprised you had an expectation at 6 weeks- a lot of women would have only just realised they were pregnant, and it is very earlier days.
Good luck with your pregnancy 💐