C Section or Vaginal after traumatic birth

[KennedyD22]

Just looking to hear anyone’s stories of c section or vaginal recoveries for your second child compared to your first!

I’m pregnant with my second (my first is only a year old) and I’m still not emotionally recovered from the first birth. Due to fetal distress I had ventouse, forceps and episiotomy when I was 8cm dilated - it was really scary and all over within about 5 minutes and 2 ‘pushes’ - I was too in shock and unprepared to even enjoy looking at my baby for the first time! I definitely didn’t bond with her. She was perfect and healthy after which is a relief, but it was scary having about 6 professionals (estimating as I don’t really remember it was a quick blur) in the room ready for something to go wrong!

Following the birth, my episiotomy stitches broke down and I was left ‘gaping’ - they didnt recommend restitching and left it to heal by secondary intention - it took 5 months to close up with recurrent infections, horrendous pain (I couldn’t go to the toilet with out crying in pain for 3/4 months) and serious emotional trauma (couldn’t bare to touch myself to even wipe after the toilet). I ended up with PND and was on ADs up until I found out I was pregnant with my second (3 months ago). Personal choice to not take them whilst I’m pregnant as my baby is higher risk for genital defects as it is. I would still be taking them had I not found out I was expecting again.

I’ve told them I want a c section this time as I am still going through the trauma and can’t bear the thought of having stitches down there again so soon. But I’m also second guessing myself, thinking I should really try again and maybe I can have a ‘nice’ natural birth that feels empowering instead of violating. I’m also scared about having a c section recovery.

Any advice would be so appreciated, or just stories about how your c section recovery went! I completely get that it will be hard but it took me 5 agonising months to physically heal from my vaginal and mentally I’m still not there yet. Thank you in advance!!

I had a very similar birth to you with my first and it was truly traumatic ( she was huge )
Second and third I had elective c sections and they were so calm and I was up and about in 24 hours without much pain x

I haven't had my baby yet but my own birth was traumatic for my mum (similar to yours but also with an emergency c-section). I know she opted for a planned c-section with my sister (very close in age also) and found it to be a much easier and less stressful experience.

If you are still not emotionally and mentally recovered, I would be very careful about putting yourself through a similar experience. Good luck in your decision and I hope either way it goes really well for you.

I had a planned c section with my second (my oldest was 2 years old at the time) and on the run up to it I was terrified about the recovery, and how my oldest would feel if I couldn't pick her up etc.. honestly it wasn't as bad as I had built it up to be, it was tough at times of course but my recovery doesn't sound a patch on what you went through. In your position I would definitely go for the planned section!

I had a similar experience to you first time round and it took me three years to even think about having another. I was prepared for another awful birth but at my 37 week scan the baby was measuring very large and either an immediate induction or a c section were recommended. I went for the c section and honestly I am so pleased I did. It was absolutely lovely, so calm and I felt in complete control. The pain afterwards was nothing compared to my first labour and I just felt like I could enjoy my baby without having to recover from a huge trauma. However, I know I recovered really well from the c section and some people really do suffer so I feel very lucky and grateful for that. Good luck with what we you decide

You’ll have plenty of people telling you to have an elective section, but my first birth was brutal (baby in distress, enormous episiotomy, forceps, baby intubated and taken to neonatal, broken coccyx, awful PND).

My second birth was a walk in the park in comparison. A textbook pool birth and I went home 6 hours later and slept in my own bed. Recovery was smooth and swift.

So it’s entirely possible to have a good birth experience after a terrible one and I’d recommend considering it.

I’m currently recovering from csection one week ago and it’s been bloody tough. My last csection took me about 8 weeks to feel normal. I was hoping this time for mind over matter but I’m in agony have basically been bed bound all week. The spinal I had the anaesthetist hit the wrong place twice it felt like my leg had been shot off and it was agony I think this is one of the reasons I’m in so much pain.

Thank you so much for all the responses!

@Poseyrose11 @RanchoRelaxo @jb1905 @santabetterwashhishands it’s definitely reassuring to hear you guys’ positive sides of the recovery and that other people have made similar decisions and felt it was right!

@Autumnally thank you, i was originally set on the c section but the last couple weeks I’ve been thinking about a water birth and how I’d love to be at home. It’s good to hear it went so well for you, as that is my other option if I did choose naturally again! I just worry that it’s so soon and I’m not emotionally ready to handle possible complications.

@2021mumma I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time at the moment, I hope it isn’t too long a recovery road for you! Sounds like you were really unlucky - was it elective or emergency? I’ve heard that emergency can be harder to recover from? Hopefully you feel better soon

@KennedyD22 they were both elective

You do have the option of a home birth, I opted for hospital because of the way things had gone so badly wrong before. I wanted to be there. But I was much more in control, actually declined an induction (I wasn’t progressing as quickly as they wanted); but I did have that elusive serene birth and it was wonderful.

I too was very traumatised, I have 23 months between my children and I couldn’t speak about DC1 birth without sobbing. Something very spiritual happened to me delivering DC2, which I think amounts to me forgiving myself. It was a very healing process for me all round.

Hello. In your shoes, with the fact that your stitches split and the wound took so long to heal, I’d be wary of a vaginal delivery. I also had ventouse and episiotomy - and my stitches also ruptured afterwards. That means the area is weaker than if it had healed with the stitches in place - and I do have concerns about the stress of another birth on the area. I spoke to the midwife about it recently, as I was worried. But unlike you, despite the ruptured stitches, the area had healed very well by my six-week check and I never had any problems or pain with it, past the initial few weeks. The midwife also checked the area for me and said it had healed remarkably well, so I feel a bit more comfortable giving birth vaginally. I can understand the psychological challenges of a difficult birth but there are also practical, physical issues to keep in mind too. Good luck!

That’s an interesting point. I did tear along my episiotomy scar, but not badly. The repair was so much better than the first time (which was tight and painful). So that actually fixed a problem for me rather than causing one.

I've had two sections and in your position I'd go for a section purely because it's much more likely to make you feel in control.

You might have a straightforward vaginal birth or you might not. If another complex/difficult vaginal birth would be your absolute worst case scenario then the only real way to be sure it won't happen is a c section.

Recovery can take a while but I recovered much more quickly from my section than my friend who had a difficult vaginal delivery and suffered some significant birth injuries. I would say if you decide on the section I'd try to arrange to have support at home with your toddler for at least two weeks (DH took 4 weeks off with our second) so you're not anxious about your recovery.

Best of luck whatever you decide.

@2021mumma ah okay! You poor thing, 8 weeks for the first too, seems like a long recovery compared to other’s I have seen for c sections - I hope for your sake it isn’t as long this time

@Autumnally that sounds like the birth experience I really would love! Did you have a lot of anxiety leading up to it/ did you practice hypo birthing or anything to prepare?

@twoofusburningmatches thank you so much for that I hadn’t even really thought about that - so it could be a high risk of tearing there again or more complications after. That’s just my biggest fear and what I want to avoid! Perhaps I should ask for the area to be looked at now and their opinion? I think I would feel better if they would say ‘yes high risk of complications again due to scar tissue etc’ as then I could choose c section without worrying I’m making the wrong decision.

I was caseloaded by a student midwife which really helped, although she couldn’t be there for the birth in the end. I would recommend seeing if you can get on the caseload list, sounds like you might be able to. A friend did after her traumatic birth. Other than that I didn’t do much special except try my hardest not to think about it.

@Sunshinegirl82 thank you for your input and advice too! That’s the biggest thing is thinking well it could go normal and fine but then again it could not. And I’m not sure it’s a risk I can take so soon! My partner is great and my mum is local, so I definitely have support for newborn and toddler! I’ll be sure to take full advantage of it!

I’ve not had a second but if I do I’m choosing elective csection.

I had a horrific induction and an emergency csection, a csection was my idea of hell but it wasn’t actually that bad and that was on top of being kept in longer after because of infection , then the wound wouldn’t heal because of stitches not dissolving and then it got infected and then I ended up with cellulitis 🤦🏻‍♀️

But pain wise I felt more human after a week maybe a week and a half .

Yes, I don’t think it would be a bad idea to get your midwife or consultant to look at the area. Obviously they won’t be able to guarantee you wouldn’t tear. But they could potentially give you a sense of how weak or not the area is. That’s at least what my midwife did. She offered to look at it, when I raised some concerns recently. I know tears are common but I was quite worried that because of the ruptured episiotomy stitches, I could end up with a terrible tear. Am a bit less concerned now after speaking to the midwife.

I am in a very similar position to you so am interested in hearing advice on this thread. I had my DD 3 years ago and am now 23 weeks with my 2nd. I had an induction last time which went on for 3 days, I got to 8cm dilated and my waters hadn't broken so they broke them fo me and started my active labour, after pushing and pushing, the baby was in distress so they cut me and she was born but my uterus wouldn't contract and I haemorrhaged, it was touch and go with going to theatre and needing a blood transfusion. My OH said he hadn't seen that much blood in his life. It was a truly terrifying and traumatic experience. I have now been speaking to the midwife to see if I could opt for a elective c-section but they aren't keen on the idea as I had a natural birth last time, albeit with complications. They are advising me the 2nd birth may be easier and I might not experience the same complications as last time. The episiotomy took some time to heal and I wasn't able to open my bowels properly or without discomfort for quite a long time. That being said, within hours of giving birth, I was up and moving around quite freely. The thought of a c-section and healing time scares me but so does the same complications of a natural birth.

@GetDownWithTheCygent hi! Congrats on your pregnancy, I’m sure you feel similar to me at the moment with anxiety and fear about birth again. It’s such a hard decision to make isn’t it, I just don’t want to make the wrong one and end up with complications and regret my decision!

As for you speaking to your midwife - my midwife was lovely and agreed with me however my consultant was the same and advised me a second birth should be better and straightforward in 90% of women after traumatic births. I was firm and explained that ‘10%’ was enough for me to want to avoid it and that the risk was so traumatic to even think about. He immediately said ‘fine have a proper think and if it is still what you want we’ll book it in at 20 weeks’. Just make sure you put your foot down if it is what you want, they can’t refuse it and they can’t persuade you either way otherwise it is bad practice - you have a choice on your medical care and it is your decision at the end of of the day and They have to support you either way. Good luck with your decision!

Ahh I'm so glad I came across this thread! I'm in the very early stages of pregnancy with my second child, my first being 10 years old now!! I do think the reason I've left it so long was because of the awful birth experience I had. Was a smooth Labour until pushing time and then all hell broke loose. Ventouse, then forceps, post birth haemorrhage and then blood transfusions. I was in shock for days and then I cried myself to sleep as I couldn't breathe feed and he didn't poo!! It was an awful experience, I was only 21 at the time and my life was a bit chaotic. Now, life is so much better and settled but, I'm still extremely anxious. I'm scared already and think I want an elective c-section. At the same time, want to do it naturally. I'm going on to train to be a midwife after DC2 is born (was working towards it before I got pregnant) - and I know they try to make you do it naturally but really, it should be what's right for mama and baby. Good luck to you all ❤️❤️

Breast feed **

I am actually more surprised that you've had sex to get pregnant again after describing how sore you've been down below. I had a similar birth to you with my first which required an episiotomy and my stitches also came open and infected and took months to heal I was left with a gaping hole down below between my vaginal and anal opening it was awful I couldn't sit down for weeks! Sex was definitely a no no until my daughter was 10 months old as it was just too painful. It did fully heal though after a while and I did have another child after 4 years and a vaginal birth which was perfect and so easy. I did tear and required a few stitches but it was fine 2nd time around. I think 2nd births are generally much easier as our bodies have done it before. I'm so glad I didn't have a section with my second as the healing process from a section isnt nice I believe.

I haven't read the other replies, but from my own experience I would absolutely recommend a CS.

I had an emergency section first time, it left me traumatised - I'd spontaneously cry everytime I tried to talk about birth, even though I didn't feel particularly sad in that moment it was the weirdest thing.

I made list after list of pros & cons of CS or VBAC and eventually decided I'd deal better with the certainty of a section than a possible failed vaginal birth.

I can only say my Dc2 birth was calm & beautiful and healed all of the hurt & guilt from DC1 birth. It just went - it was a wonderful experience.

It was absolutely the right choice for me. I must add, I recovered from both of my sections very well, and no lasting effects apart from a scar & a shelf, I appreciate not everyone is so lucky.

All the best to you, whatever you decide OP.

@Saladcreamormayo OP doesn't say if the pregnancy was planned but she's only 3 months along, and her baby might be a bit over a year.
You were able to have sex again at 10 months so OP might not be much different in terms of timescale.

Your injuries sound horrific and I'm glad to hear the second birth was better.

@KennedyD22 glad you stood your ground with the consultant.
Whatever you decide it needs to be your informed choice. I think you're brave doing this, whichever option. Do look after yourself.

@GetDownWithTheCygent you can request a C-section without even having attempted a vaginal birth, so you are well within your rights if it's what you feel most comfortable with.

To put it bluntly doctors or midwives who say it should be easier aren't the ones to suffer if they are wrong about that.

I had an emergency c section in June. It wasn’t that bad. I wish I’d just elected to have one after so much pain and annoyance from induction methods. After two weeks I was pretty much back to normal. I stuck to the pain tablets etc they prescribed and it never really got painful. I did have a day when my left shoulder hurt (it’s weird how the human body works) but I was more worried about what was happening but on finding out it was normal I wasn’t worried. Two months on and the scar looks fine.

If I have another child which I plan to I’m definitely going to ask for a c section.