Missed/Silent Miscarriage

[Mils33]

Hi all.
I'm hoping someone can give me some advice!
I should be 8 weeks pregnant today, went for an early scan this week due to some pains & was told that the baby only measured 6 weeks without a heartbeat. I have had no bleeding or other signs. Have to go back in a week for another scam scan to double check but basically been told for now to use 'expectant management' before any other methods. But how soon should things start? Surely if I lost it at 6 weeks that's 2 weeks ago and something should be happening by now. Should I ask for medication next week as I can't bear the waiting. But also seen that meds can cause longer/heavier bleeding..has anyone experienced this that can help? Xxx

Sorry wasn't meant to put scam, just scan!

How confident are you about your dates? If you’re not confident about it at all there’s a chance that you’re not as far along as you think?

@Motherofcats007 my 1st pregnancy so not an expert but I'm 100% on the dates of my last period. They said not to get any hopes up about this next scan sadly

Sorry to hear you are going through this. The same thing happened to me last year. They will probably give you other options once you have been to another scan to confirm what’s going on. Fingers crossed your dates might just be wrong. Until then things might not happen. I thought I was 8/9 weeks baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and nothing happened until I went in for MVA for missed miscarriage. When you have a MMC your body doesn’t always realise straight away so there’s not a time frame on when something will happen. Once you have your scan to double check then they will probably let know of other options if nothing has happened. I have my fingers crossed for you that dates are out and everything will be fine 🤞🏻

Fingers crossed your ovulation date was wrong, they assume everyone has a 28 day period and ovulated on day 14 when calculating how far along you are. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’ve had three early miscarriages before and they are so hard. If it is indeed a miscarriage, just remember that there’s nothing else you could’ve done and that you’re allowed to grief for a baby that will never be in your arms xxx

They don’t want to give you false hope, but they need to do another scan just incase they are wrong. With expectant management they will see if things progress on their own. They will probably give you other options following your next scan.

I’m really sorry that the news wasn’t good.

I’m actually just out the other end of a silent miscarriage with my 1st pregnancy, so I can understand and empathise with all the emotions.
Take care

The body is weird.
I knew at 7 weeks and chose to wait for nature but didn’t miscarry until 13 nearly 14 weeks so no, your body may not recognise for weeks yet.

I had tablets after that. Yes to heavy bleeding, yes to pain. Same as naturally miscarrying but over quickly. (About 12 hours)

Surgical is even faster with very quick physical recovery.
Go for the next scan, you will have decided by then probably.
Good luck, it’s utter shit.

My first missed miscarriage I started bleeding day before my 12 week scan baby had died at 7 weeks didn't make me wait as week as I had a temperature so worried I was going septic.

2nd missed miscarriage was similar has some spotting about 11 weeks had a scan baby died at 6 weeks. Had another scan in a week booked in for medical management the next day.

It can take a while think if has been picked up earlier they will give you two weeks to see if it happens on it's own if that is what you want to do.

I had a silent miscarriage in March, I had 3 previous miscarriages so I had an early scan at 6 weeks which showed an empty sac, had to go back a week later and there was a growing sac and yolk sac, was then told to come back 2 weeks later, I did, sac and yolk still there but no progression so a silent miscarriage was confirmed. Funny enough as we went into that last scan I had to do a wee sample, as I pulled my leggings down, I had blood in my underwear. So I just knew the outcome of that scan before they even scanned me. This was at 9 weeks. They said a baby didn't develop at all, which didn't make it any better. But I started bleeding on the Friday, I passed the sac on the Sunday naturally and by the Monday a scan confirmed I passed the pregnancy naturally.

It's such a cruel experience. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending so much love x

Can't thank you all enough for these responses. Its an extremely lonely time & I have never even heard of a missed miscarriage before. Feel like there is nothing to prepare you for these possible outcomes. All you ever see is a perfect picture of pregnancy! These have all been really helpful.
@Damnyoureyes if you don't mind me asking, looking back would you have taken medical management earlier?
@Yutes I'm so sorry to see you've just been through this. Again no pressure to answer, but could I ask what route you had/chose?
Thanks so much again ladies. Xxx

Yes.
And I did for each following miscarriage that I had.
As soon as I had the scan to confirm, I had the tablets.
I couldn’t suffer 6,7,8 weeks waiting again.
As it was my first, it was what I needed to do so I knew that it was supposed to happen.

Medical management is no piece of cake though, for me it was excruciating painful, torrential blood loss and hospital for gas & air and morphine as I suffered contractions. Sometimes overnight or a day or two.

Surgical management I believe is far far quicker and cleaner, done within an hour or so.

@Mils33

Can't thank you all enough for these responses. Its an extremely lonely time & I have never even heard of a missed miscarriage before. Feel like there is nothing to prepare you for these possible outcomes. All you ever see is a perfect picture of pregnancy! These have all been really helpful. *@Damnyoureyes* if you don't mind me asking, looking back would you have taken medical management earlier? *@Yutes* I'm so sorry to see you've just been through this. Again no pressure to answer, but could I ask what route you had/chose? Thanks so much again ladies. Xxx

@Mils33 I chose medical management.

The reason I chose this was because the surgical option had a waiting list of 3 weeks (for both local anaesthetic and general anaesthetic). With the medical option, I was started that same week. Mentally, I just wanted to be able to move on quicker.
Physically it was exhausting, it took a lot more out of me on the day than I thought.

So like I say, it was quickest as far as waiting to physically induce the miscarriage but getting back to normal maybe took longer. But I’m feeling much better now, and took my time to heal.
Take care. Feel free to private message if you want, lovely

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I had 2 MMC in a row last year, it's absolutely horrendous. You are not alone, there's lots of support out there and please know we are all virtually holding your hand right now.

My first MMC I was supposed to be 12 weeks but baby had died around 8 weeks. After finding out the bad news, I moved house so did lots of moving about and lifting. I know this is a bit extreme and you probably aren't feeling up to getting active but if you are able to go for a walk or something it might help things get moving. It's also good for clearing your head a bit.
My second one was discovered when I started bleeding, again it was around 4 weeks after the baby died.

Regardless of how you look to manage this, get some cocodamol, make sure you've got a hot water bottle and some old knickers and big pads. You may want an old towel to go on your bed or sofa. The hospital told me it would be like a heavy period and that was a lie, I wish I had been more prepared.

In the meantime, lots of rest, let your partner or family run around after you and eat lots of your favourite treats

OP I just didn't want to ready and run though I have no advice, I'm also supposed to be right weeks today and experiencing a missed miscarriage. Slight spotting last week so I went for an early scan and baby also stopped growing two weeks ago. I've got another scan on Monday to confirm then discuss options. Like I said no advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone and it is utterly shite. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve or not depending on how you feel. There's no one way to do this. I'm happy to chat if you want to PM (if I can work out how). I hope you're ok x

@Mils33

Hi all. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice! I should be 8 weeks pregnant today, went for an early scan this week due to some pains & was told that the baby only measured 6 weeks without a heartbeat. I have had no bleeding or other signs. Have to go back in a week for another scam scan to double check but basically been told for now to use 'expectant management' before any other methods. But how soon should things start? Surely if I lost it at 6 weeks that's 2 weeks ago and something should be happening by now. Should I ask for medication next week as I can't bear the waiting. But also seen that meds can cause longer/heavier bleeding..has anyone experienced this that can help? Xxx

So sorry you're going through this. I had a mmc earlier this year. Baby developed to maybe 7 weeks, and I only found out at the 12 week scan. It took a week before I started to get a tiny bit of spotting/blood, that continued another week, and then one evening of passing lots of blood/tissue, then the next night over 4-5 hours had the "main event" so to speak, passing the pregnancy sac, placenta, blood and tissue. It sounds scary but your body knows what to do and you will survive. See how the next scan goes, then see how you feel. If It's any consolation, this was in April, and I'm 9 weeks pregnant now (10 according to period dates, but I ovulate late). Had a scan last week and it was going well. Even if your pregnancy ends badly, there is no reason you won't have a viable one next time.

Hi, it’s really difficult isn’t it? I found out at the beginning of august that I’d had a missed mc. Like you I had to wait a week for a second scan to confirm what everyone suspected. I then decided on medical management and after three weeks of bleeding I contacted the epau because I was told it should be coming to an end and it didn’t seem to be. I had another scan and it seems the miscarriage is incomplete which is one of the possible risks with the pessaries, so Ive now opted for surgical management next week to get rid of what remains of the pregnancy as I just can’t face waiting any longer. The worst bit is definitely how long things can drag on for when you just want to try and put things behind you. When I spoke to the nurse the other day she did say that sometimes the tissue doesn’t come out of its own accord and begins to calcify after a while so medical or surgical intervention is needed to prevent infection etc. It all seems so cruel ☹️ Wishing you all the best at this horrible time.

@Countrygirl21 sorry to hear this. Was this your first pregnancy?
Sounds very similar to mine, I took my 2nd round of medication for management yesterday and still nothing major, yet I've been bleeding for 2 weeks or so. I just feel its not responding to the meds and needs removing so it's looking likely I'll have the MPV surgery next. Can I ask whether you had that and how it went? Absolutely agree, I honestly feel like the loss is easier for me to deal with than this absolutely torturous wait & constant uncertainty and I just need it out to be able to deal with it all. Hope you are doing OK and recovering xx

@Mils33 Yes I had my surgery a week ago now. I was told everything went as expected and had a follow up call from the hospital yesterday. I’m still having some bleeding which they did say can happen for up to two weeks but I was told on the phone yesterday that if it lasts longer than two weeks I’d have to be re-scanned in case anything remained. She said they try to remove as much as possible during surgery but they have to be cautious not to remove too much that they cause damage long term. To be honest I was a little disheartened when I heard that because I never even thought that was a possibility- just really praying that the bleeding stops on its own and there’s no need for any more hospital visits. This is week 5 of bleeding for me now after the medical management didn’t work so I am just soooo over it now. This was pregnancy number two for me- very blessed to have a little girl and desperately hoping that we will have our baby number two sometime soon. We had been trying for a year which makes this is all the more heartbreaking for me.
If you do go in for surgery I hope it all goes well and it gives you the closure that you need. Xx

[quote Mils33]@Countrygirl21 sorry to hear this. Was this your first pregnancy?
Sounds very similar to mine, I took my 2nd round of medication for management yesterday and still nothing major, yet I've been bleeding for 2 weeks or so. I just feel its not responding to the meds and needs removing so it's looking likely I'll have the MPV surgery next. Can I ask whether you had that and how it went? Absolutely agree, I honestly feel like the loss is easier for me to deal with than this absolutely torturous wait & constant uncertainty and I just need it out to be able to deal with it all. Hope you are doing OK and recovering xx[/quote]
Hi OP I'm sorry you're still going through this. I just wanted to say I had an MVA last week as I didn't want to do medical management. I'll be honest and say it's not pleasant. The drs and midwives were lovely but the actual procedure is a bit full on. A bit painful and just a lot to process. They give you gas and air though and one persons job was to just hold my hand. It was over with in about twenty minutes. That night I had a bit of bleeding and I've had cramping and bleeding for about a week but it's pretty much finished now. Feel free to PM if you want.

I had a MMC several years ago and opted for surgical management. It was quick and I had it done under general anaesthetic (I wouldn’t have wanted to be awake). I would recommend it as an approach to treating it, it was relatively painless and the bleeding wasn’t too bad afterwards. I was signed off for a fortnight which I did need, but that was for emotional rather than physical reasons. I was utterly heartbroken but I conceived again very quickly and my healthy baby girl was born six months after the due date of the baby I lost. I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP. There’s nothing you could have done differently. X

H@Mils33 hi, I've had two previous miscarriages in a row & when the doctors said it was just a "heavy period" — that's an understatement.

I didn't think I'd have to go through actual contractions during the miscarriages where I was 9 & 12 weeks pregnant. I didn't go via D&C route because I was just in shock. I just wanted to run home, hide & cry for days.

It was excruciating.

So some advice I could give if you're going natural route is:
— invest in heavy pads because the bleeding is like clots (tmi) and will last a short while
— have pain killers on hand
— have soups after you complete the process of birthing it as it really warmed my insides as well as helped flush out waste

Be easy on yourself & turn to us here 💚

Hi @Mils33 I had a MMC at the end of June this year, went for my 12 week scan and discovered baby had stopped growing at around 9 weeks. I had an MVA the next week because I just wanted it over and done with, I would of had it done the same day if they could. Everybody is different but I found the procedure a little more uncomfortable than a smear, the worse part from me was having the anesthetic injected into my cervix but again it wasn't painful just stingy, oh and I was not prepared for the painkillers up the bum!!! It's obviously not a nice procedure but it's over in around 20 minutes and the doctors and nurses were genuinely so caring.

I'm glad I had the MVA and if I was unfortunately in that position again I would choose that option again, another reason I went for the MVA was because they wanted to send the pregnancy for testing and if I had miscarried at home I would of had to take the passed tissue to the hospital and for me that just added a layer of stress to the whole thing.

Good luck OP 💐

Hi OP. First time commenting for me and didn’t want to read and run.

Sadly I had a MMC a couple of weeks ago. Went for my scan and baby’s heart had stopped at 9 weeks.

The Ward/nurses and midwives were fantastic and explained all options to me. This was the Friday and I went back the Tuesday (just passed) for surgical management. For me personally I wanted it to be over as quick as possible so that I could start trying to heal. I couldn’t bear the thought of being at home and bleeding for god knows how long, least I had more control this way.

I had it under general anaesthetic. I didn’t want to be awake. It took about an hour or so.

I’ve had minimal bleeding since, mostly just the Tuesday but my belly is tender to touch.

For me it was the right decision choosing surgical. This is my 2nd miscarriage in a year, first I passed naturally and I just didn’t want to go through that again.

I’ve taken 2-3 weeks off work (I have a very physical and emotional demanding job) and it was more for my mental health I needed the time off rather than physical healing.

I’m so sorry your going through this. It’s not easy. All the best x

I know this is very much how long is a piece of string but, how long did it take people to get a negative test after their miscarriage? I thought I had one today but went back to it after my shower and a bright positive line was there. Going to get a digital test later but just wondering how long to expect to show as pregnant? Desperate to just draw a line under this and start trying again

@Onebabyandamadcat about 3 weeks, anything much more than that you'll need to contact your local EPU incase of retained tissue.