Missed/Silent Miscarriage

[Mils33]

Hi all.
I'm hoping someone can give me some advice!
I should be 8 weeks pregnant today, went for an early scan this week due to some pains & was told that the baby only measured 6 weeks without a heartbeat. I have had no bleeding or other signs. Have to go back in a week for another scam scan to double check but basically been told for now to use 'expectant management' before any other methods. But how soon should things start? Surely if I lost it at 6 weeks that's 2 weeks ago and something should be happening by now. Should I ask for medication next week as I can't bear the waiting. But also seen that meds can cause longer/heavier bleeding..has anyone experienced this that can help? Xxx

@Onebabyandamadcat

I just had the procedure this week and the midwives advised waiting 3 weeks to test. I still Feel like I’ve got hormones raging about my body, still got a touch of nausea.

I’m the same as you, I just want that negative after 3 weeks (or sooner!!) so I can draw the line and try to move on and try again.

Thank you. I'm only about 10 days after my MVA (though that was two weeks after this nightmare began) I guess I was just too optimistic. Took a digital test today and showing 1-2 weeks. Hopefully by next weekend that'll have dropped down

I’ve been told today that I’m having a silent miscarriage.
I am (was?) 8 + 4, I had a scan at 7 + 1 which found a heartbeat and all going well although they actually redated me as 6+4 so I’m actually guessing now I’m writing this that it wasn’t growing quite as well as it should as I’m 100% on my dates and cycle 🤔🤔
I had a little bleed yesterday, nothing major but enough to make me want to get checked. It stopped as soon as it started so I almost cancelled the scan but thought it best to be sure.
No heartbeat.
I’m absolutely broken.
They’ve sent me home with an info leaflet on my choices and an appointment on Monday to go through everything.
I know I want to go down the D&C route under general ASAP and I’m so scared about things starting on their own before I can get that done.
I’m also scared they’ve got it wrong, will they scan me again before a D&C? Can I ask them to?? I know I’m clutching at straws but I don’t think I could live with a “what if”
This is the most awful and lonely experience, my OH, mum and friends are being amazing and so supportive but I just feel completely in limbo. My body is still acting pregnant - although my symptoms were never very strong - another sign maybe??
I can’t help thinking what did I do wrong? Or that I’m going to wake up from this horrible dream at some point.
Big love to everyone that has been or is going through this horrible experience xxxxxx

@Kelb79 I can't find any words to console you at this time other than to say that we're here for you virtually if anything!

I went through two miscarriages myself & before I could even choose a D&C, I was already naturally birthing it. So I think it depends on your body and how quickly it's responding to everything inside...

Also, just to make you aware, at the time they gave me my leaflet they did tell me the risk of ruptures and problematic healing after a d&c.

Focus on you, and give yourself all the time and love you can. You're a mama, and don't let anyone make you feel any less. Heaven just gained another angelll 💕

I'm so sorry - I'd not read the full thread before posting (in my rush to try and help) so I've asked for my post to be removed as it's clearly too late to be suggesting approaches etc.

Again I am so sorry for your loss, it is brutal and I'm still very upset by mine. Feel free to PM me.

A couple of people have replied since saying they're trying decide between methods so I will repost my advice (but critically in that context).

I had a missed miscarriage and they needed a second scan and DH was very much in the "it's not for certain" camp and actually the hope was worse than anything.

Also - my doctor recommended surgical management and it was the best advice (for me).

No waiting and wondering when things will happen. Waiting for it to happen naturally can take weeks.

Also medical management is scary because you're on your own. For me - surgical meant being in a safe, secure place when it all happened, and also critically not having to see anything.

There are risks, of course, but I'd never been pregnant before (or since, sadly) and actually it all being out of of my hands and being a bit removed from it was far better for my mental health.