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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone had their dad as birthing partner

46 replies

Mumtobe2021x · 03/09/2021 12:09

So the only reliable person I’ve really got to be my birthing partner is my dad. But I don’t know if that’s abit weird and unnatural but I don’t want to go on my own. Obviously he’s not gonna be watching and looking at anything like that but I don’t know if it’s still weird . Has any had just their dad as birth partner? If so how did you find it

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Original poster

Mumtobe2021x · 03/09/2021 12:10

Even when I suggested to the midwife she was abit like are you sure that might be abit uncomfortable but I’ve literally got no one else and I don’t want to go on my own

OP posts:

Laaaaa · 03/09/2021 12:10

It's amazing, not weird at alll.. go for it

SmidgenofaPigeon · 03/09/2021 12:11

I honestly can’t imagine this at all but you know your dad. I’m close to mine but I’d still rather be on my own if it was that or have my dad there.

GarnetsandRubies · 03/09/2021 12:12

I almost had my dad as my birth partner but in the end my mum came instead. I didn't consider it weird or anything, he would have been great support. I would go for it, especially if you don't have anyone else!

TenThousandSpoons · 03/09/2021 12:14

I don’t think it’s weird. Have whoever you will feel comfortable with and can rely on. He will feel honoured to be asked, I’m sure.

orangesky1 · 03/09/2021 12:14

The job of a birth partner is to support and advocate for you while you are in a position of vulnerability. If he is the person you trust for that role, then yes absolutely.

Scbchl · 03/09/2021 12:16

I haven't but I 1 million percent would of if I didn't have anyone else to come with me (my husband) and my dad would 100% of been happy too. My parents are divorced and I'm much closer with my mum. Can always have him and just get him to stay head end, which my husband did anyway as he felt too squeamish to look when all 3 of our children were birthing.

FunnyInjury · 03/09/2021 12:16

My dad was an accidental birth partner to dsis and I dont believe anyone has been left traumatised. Step mum was also with them, but df held her hand the whole way through.
It wasnt planned but was perfectly ok with everyone! When I visited the midwife was still raving about how good df had been

GarnetsandRubies · 03/09/2021 12:17

Also my best friend had both her mam and dad there

Scbchl · 03/09/2021 12:17

Much closer with my dad I meant, not mum.

bshfan · 03/09/2021 12:19

I haven't as I had DH but I do know someone who had an unplanned homebirth with her dad actually having to deliver the baby. As above no one was left traumatised by it.

BertieBotts · 03/09/2021 12:23

Not for me but I'm not close to mine and couldn't imagine being naked with him there (for example).

If you feel he's the right person go for it. It doesn't matter if it would be weird to somebody else.

FluffMagnet · 03/09/2021 12:23

Tbh I've been wondering the same as due in October and worrying about DH catching Covid and not being allowed in. I am due an ELCS so not quite the same, but honestly I think my dad would be far more help back on the ward than my mum, and wouldn't be crippled by the visitor chairs. However, I don't think my mum would ever forgive me ...

Bells3032 · 03/09/2021 12:24

If i didn't have my DH i'd have my dad - 100%. I lost my mum 7 years ago and my dad is the best person i know. he would keep me calm, he would advocate for me if i needed it and he would be able to make decisions if i am able to.

I have a super close relationship with my dad (he even arranged for me to see a gyno when i was having painful sex - he sat outside the room not in the doctors room itself). he is the person i trust the most bar DH so i wouldn't hesistate.

Freshair87 · 03/09/2021 12:24

I didn't but I would have been fine with my dad there, he would definitely advocate on my behalf and do whatever I asked, he could always step out the room when they are doing examinations if it did make you uncomfortable but once you're in labour i doubt either of you will care

Arecklessmanor · 03/09/2021 13:29

Just because it's not common doesn't mean it's not right for you and that is the most important thing.

I don't know if either of my parents would make a great birth partner tbh, they're both very deferential to doctors and I don't think would advocate well for me, on balance my mum probably more so.

If your dad will support you and help to keep you as calm as you're going to be then that's lovely that he will be there to meet his grandchild.

Just make sure people on the day know he is your dad, not the baby's dad. A lot of health professionals just call people mum or dad (which I dislike) and it will help to avoid confusion.

Pissinthepottyplease · 03/09/2021 13:40

I remember desperately wanting my Dad when I was labour with DD1. He was the one who looked after me when I was ill as a child.

I would say go for it. Discuss with him before that you want him to leave and have a phrase ready if you want him to go.

saamantha19881 · 03/09/2021 16:21

Only you know the answer in your gut! And if it’s a yes, have the conversation before hand about what you’re both comfortable with. E.g if I were you I’d say ‘why don’t you go grab a cup of tea when I have internal examinations’ because I’d feel weird with him there (even if it was on the other side of the curtain)

BrilliantBetty · 03/09/2021 16:27

Not weird. My dad was with me in early labour, he was very helpful.
He sat took me to the hospital and stayed with me for the first bit until my DP was able to be there.
And he came back to help once baby had arrived.

It's not weird if you are both comfortable with it.

Elisemum · 03/09/2021 19:00

It’s not weird, it’s lovely. Yes it’s unusual so what? Just because it doesn’t mean it’s weird. You should do whatever makes you happy and you deserve not to be alone during both if you don’t want to be. Absolutely go for it, good luck

PurBal · 03/09/2021 19:01

I’d never have considered my dad but it’s a great suggestion. Would much prefer him to my mum if DH wasn’t around.

peaches99 · 03/09/2021 19:08

My DDad was a very old fashioned ‘mans man’,and he would’ve preferred to walk over red hot coals than be my birthing partner .
It’s just the way he was! Love him though.

IdblowJonSnow · 03/09/2021 19:14

God, I think that's lovely!
Not weird at all. Your midwife sounds narrow minded saying things like that.

Original poster

Mumtobe2021x · 03/09/2021 21:33

Yeah I think I just wouldn’t want people at the hospital getting the wrong impression sort of thing

OP posts:

Roonilwazlib1 · 03/09/2021 21:37

My friend had her dad with her and it sounded like he was a great support.

She was a single mum at the time and her mum passed away a number of years ago so she didn't have anyone else either.

I think she was really happy with her choice and was glad she asked him to be her birth partner

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