Anyone had their dad as birthing partner

[Mumtobe2021x]

So the only reliable person I’ve really got to be my birthing partner is my dad. But I don’t know if that’s abit weird and unnatural but I don’t want to go on my own. Obviously he’s not gonna be watching and looking at anything like that but I don’t know if it’s still weird . Has any had just their dad as birth partner? If so how did you find it

I wouldn’t be worried about people getting the wrong impression. However, the only thing I’ll say is, I gave birth recently with my husband as birth partner and he was under strict instructions to stay up at my head and not look at what was happening there.. once I was in labour that went out the window, I don’t know how anybody could have been in that room and not see me basically naked legs in the air blood everywhere. So just be aware that as much as you may plan for him not to see anything, if you’re anything like me, he will. If you’re ok with that then go for it

@Mumtobe2021x

Yeah I think I just wouldn’t want people at the hospital getting the wrong impression sort of thing

Not trying to make you or your dad sound unimportant but they don't have time to care about that, too much else to think about.

DH would be a better birth partner than me. He is patient, assertive and loving. 8 wouldn't find it weird if DD preferred him.

Also don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks..there issue not yours.

But to add: so long as you're ok with your dad seeing you naked...and bleeding etc. I am a very private person but somehow ended up naked and my legs in stirrups and all sorts. It is not something my oh ever can get out of his mind. My birth did have some scary moments tbh.

@BabyC21

I wouldn’t be worried about people getting the wrong impression. However, the only thing I’ll say is, I gave birth recently with my husband as birth partner and he was under strict instructions to stay up at my head and not look at what was happening there.. once I was in labour that went out the window, I don’t know how anybody could have been in that room and not see me basically naked legs in the air blood everywhere. So just be aware that as much as you may plan for him not to see anything, if you’re anything like me, he will. If you’re ok with that then go for it

Tbh I guess that depends on your labour, me and my DH are not bothered about nudity or gross stuff or anything with each other - he's a HCP and I'm from a family of HCPs so that's probably partly why. Nevertheless he stayed at the head end my whole labour and delivery and genuinely didn't really see anything at the other end. I had an instrumental delivery so I was in lithotomy and everything but he didn't see the actual delivery at all as was too busy holding my hand and focussing on supporting me.

My DF is an immigrant and wasn't actually at the later labour stages or delivery for me or my siblings - fathers never are in the culture/country he's from. So clearly wouldn't have been an option for me! However I definitely don't think there is anything inherently odd about having a father as a birthing partner. Definitely don't go alone when you'd rather have him with you just so 'people at the hospital don't get the wrong impression' - doesn't matter what anyone else thinks anyway! It's your labour and birth, what matters is what will help you. I wish I had that kind of relationship with my DF (or my DM tbf, would never consider her for a birth partner either, she'd be absolutely useless and I wouldn't feel at all comfortable being even slightly undressed around her). I hope my DH has that kind of relationship with DD when she's older.

It's not for everyone but in your position I would ask my dad. There's no right or wrong answer, he doesn't have to look directly into the eye of the storm and I'm sure you will be fine with him there.

When I was being stitched up, the MIL came strolling in and stared directly up my leathered muff and I can still just about make eye contact with her.

Nevertheless he stayed at the head end my whole labour and delivery and genuinely didn't really see anything at the other end. I had an instrumental delivery so I was in lithotomy and everything but he didn't see the actual delivery at all as was too busy holding my hand and focussing on supporting me.**

I wish my husband hadn't seen it. I didn't think he had, he said he saw everything as he didn't have a choice not to

@orangesky1

The job of a birth partner is to support and advocate for you while you are in a position of vulnerability. If he is the person you trust for that role, then yes absolutely.

This

Your birth partner needs to be like your voice as well. You will be uncomfortable and in pain and DH could ask questions I wasn't able to think of

Btw, a lot of people have their mothers but I wouldn't in a million years! My mum would have opposing ideas to me instead of supporting me. Get the gist?

When I had my little boy, my husband, mum and dad came with me.
Mum and hubby stayed through the whole labour. Dad left when I was getting my epidural as there was just too much going on too many people in the room and he didn't like to see me in the pain I was in.
I didn't think it was weird at all, he's my dad at the end of the day.

Choose who you know will support you, who can advocate for you and who you can enjoy company with, Labour can be a long old process... Mine was 31 hours 🙄

@LauEli

When I had my little boy, my husband, mum and dad came with me. Mum and hubby stayed through the whole labour. Dad left when I was getting my epidural as there was just too much going on too many people in the room and he didn't like to see me in the pain I was in. I didn't think it was weird at all, he's my dad at the end of the day.

Choose who you know will support you, who can advocate for you and who you can enjoy company with, Labour can be a long old process... Mine was 31 hours 🙄

Thought we were only allowed 1, max 2 birthing partners? Can't imagjne they want a roomful of people?

Aw I think that's lovely op and I'm sure your sad would be honoured and gladly be your birthing partner.
Congratulations! ❤️

@Theworldishard my little boy is 4 in October so very much precovid.
My dad brought my mum, as she can't drive at night and my midwife said he could glady stay a while, labour is supposed to be a relaxed event and she could see I was relaxed with the three of them there, he didn't outstay his welcome or get in anyone's way

@Eeiliethya leathered muff 😂😂😂

My dad was an accidental birth partner for me. My ex dp didn’t drive so my Mum & Dad drove us to the hospital. When we got there it turned out my labour wasn’t going well at all and so my parents understandably didn’t want to leave the hospital. Our local delivery suite was being revamped at the time so I got put in an empty 6 bed ward for some reason to labour. As there was so much room they let my parents and exdp stay the whole time. I ended up getting to 9cm and then had to get rushed to theatre for an emcs and obviously only my ex could be there for that, but if I had ended up having a vaginal birth I would have had my Dad there.
From what I can remember he stayed quietly to the side most of the time but it was so lovely to come back up from theatre and my parents be the first people I saw.
They got to stay with me for a few hours and my Dad was the one I sent with Ds to have his cannula put in and his blood screening done as I couldn’t face it.
In hindsight I’m so glad I had my Dad with me. I’m close to my parents and it’s such a lovely memory for us all to look back on so if you feel like you want your Dad with you I would 100% go for it.

@Littlebean13 other than the emcs sounds perfect. So nice to have a supportive family. My mum and dad mean the world to me, so it was fab that my dad stayed a while

Oh OP do it! I had my dad at DS’s birth and it was great, although he missed giving me the gas and air once because he was too busy flirting with the nurses. I still tease him about it to this day.

Oh a dad birthing partner is a great idea! If I lived in the same country as my dad I would definetly consider him. I think make the decisions of whatever is going to make you feel good in the moment. Part of that is having a birthing partner who you trust. And if that's your dad - great go for it!!!

Both my parents ended up being accidental birth partners, they stayed up the top end and it’s was fine. They have a lovely bond with DC

I think I’d rather my dad than nobody at all and def would prefer my dad to my mum who is useless in any kind of stressful situation

Did your dad watch you or your siblings being born? If so he’ll have a good idea what to expect
My own dad did not .

Hell be there to support you and at no point does he need to be at the business end of the bed.

If you think your dad would be able to comfort you if upset, make you laugh, advocate for you if you need help, fetch and carry stuff while you're otherwise occupied then he's the right person for the job.

I would 100% of had my dad there!
Just would have told him to stay away from the bottom end of the bed!