Dos and donts of pregnancy

[Kittycaz]

Hi, April this year we got the horrible news that we had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks pregnant. I was devestated it took me quite a bit of time to heal but I've just found out I am pregnant again. Im trying to do everything in my power to be successful this time. Is there any dos and donts that aren't very well known. I know about the no alcohol or smoking and limit caffeine. No undercooked foods or vitamin a. No dying my hair or having nails done. And take folic acid. Is there anything else that is a major nono or something I should start doing? Thankyou in advance.

You can dye your hair and have nails done. They are fine.

I think the biggest thing is to acknowledge that your sad loss was not your fault . Sounds like you are doing all you should. Maybe add in lots of support and nurture for you to help you navigate the totally understandable anxieties of pregnancy following miscarriage.

Sorry for your loss.
I think go with guidence from midwifes about what to do.
Just try and make sure you take pregnancy vitamins.
I'm not sure you would have done anything 'wrong' which caused your missed miscarriage so don't feel it was anything you did.
I had mc a few years ago and it's hard not to think of the what ifs.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy though! How far along are you?

The miscarriage was not your fault. You can colour your hair or get your nails done if you wish. Presuming you are in the U.K. then read this, www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/ follow the advice given and that’s it. There’s a lot of stuff out there on the internet which applies to the US where food standards are very different so don’t go googling.

It wasn't your fault.

Miscarriages happen because of genetic problems with the embryo

However other safety things during Pg are -

-dont clean out cat litter

• don't paint (walls in house)
• don't eat shellfish
• don't eat liver
• keep your iron and calcium levels up (take pre pregnancy vitamins)

-take / eat omega oils

• limit tuna/ swordfish (mercury)
• don't get any fillings out or in
• don't get reflexology or use essential oils (1st 3 months)
• be careful with keeping food separate in fridge/on surfaces eg cooked/ uncooked meat

-try to eat organic -dont do DIY that involves dust/ solvents etc -avoid using too many toiletries/ make up products on skin/hair

Hi only 4 week 6 days so it's still quite early days. I knew I was pregnant again even before I took the test as my boobs were killing me. Thankyou for the advice lady it was a friend who told me about the dye and nails as she said the chemicals in it can be absorbed through the skin. But she lost her first child too. So think we both got the Google everything bug lol.

You didn't do anything to cause your miscarriage

In the nicest possible way, you cannot do anything to prevent another. If the chromosomes were not right at the moment of conception, the embryo won't develop and no amount of organic vegetables or pregnancy vitamins will change that.

As someone who had two back to back miscarriages (before two very easy full term pregnancies), it's important to come to peace with this, and not try to control, and therefore take responsibility for things that are outside your power.

Focus on yourself, eat good foods, exercise, do what you enjoy and make sure that your life isn't on hold while you wait for your 12 week scan.

@felulageller

It wasn't your fault.

Miscarriages happen because of genetic problems with the embryo

However other safety things during Pg are -

-dont clean out cat litter

• don't paint (walls in house)
• don't eat shellfish
• don't eat liver
• keep your iron and calcium levels up (take pre pregnancy vitamins)

-take / eat omega oils

• limit tuna/ swordfish (mercury)
• don't get any fillings out or in
• don't get reflexology or use essential oils (1st 3 months)
• be careful with keeping food separate in fridge/on surfaces eg cooked/ uncooked meat

-try to eat organic -dont do DIY that involves dust/ solvents etc -avoid using too many toiletries/ make up products on skin/hair

Thankyou so much. I didn't know about the no oils or no painting.

@felulageller since when has the toiletries and make up wearing been a thing?

The toiletries and make up thing us going to far. With POSSIBLY the exception of retinol. There is no proven link.

Looking for a way to ‘prevent’ another miscarriage like this is pointless and likely to lead to anxiety (which you could also argue wasn’t good either)

It’s nothing you did. Apart from avoiding the things that have known, clear, proven links to have an impact on early pregnancy, carry on as normal. There really is nothing else you can do, analysing everything is going to be shit for your mental health.

You can eat cooked shellfish and do diy/paint
You can dye your hair and do your nails
Avoid retinoids in skincare but apart from that it's fine to use skin and hair products

Exactly, cooked shellfish is fine. So are pasteurised cheeses. I avoided DIY because I hate it, not because I feared it could bring on a miscarriage

And organic/non organic foods will make no difference either
You can have cooked blue/mould ripened cheese
Cured meats are OK if cooked or frozen for a few days before eating

Take vitamin d and folic acid and have a balanced diet to get all the nutrients you need.

Thankyou ladies, I will keep an eye out on my skin products to make sure I avoid retinol. Its not that I think doing all this will stop me mc-ing it was more I'd feel less horrible if it did end bad as then I knew I did everything possible and it was totally out of my hands. If that makes sense.
Last time u see I took ibuprofen at 7 weeks and I've been a bit obsessing over that as it says you shouldn't take it but I didn't know at the time. It prob wasn't from the ibuprofen but my brain just wouldn't switch off obsessing over it. I think if I do it this way where there's nothing I can obsess over I might be able to heal faster mentally if god forbid the worst happens again. Sorry I am obsessing again. Thankyou again ladies for your kind words I have my Fingers and toes crossed.

I would also add not to take very hot baths/sauna/hot tubs.
All the best!

I know someone who was prescribed ibuprofen whilst pregnant so please don’t worry about that. I know it is not recommended but don’t think it has anything to do with what happened.

Please don’t stress over eating organic or wearing makeup. Anecdotal I know but my DD is now 3 and I dyed my hair, painted my nails, wore makeup and used my usual cosmetics as normal she is absolutely great and no issues!

Follow nhs advice and if you need any MH support let your midwife know at your first appointment how you are feeling, it’s very valid and normal to have worries.

@felulageller this is not what the NHS advice says. Can you link to any evidence-based published studies that prove what you are saying?

OP, the best thing to do is follow the NHS advice (if you're in the UK), stay healthy in terms of diet and exercise, and try to keep your anxiety low. There are all sorts of old wives' tales that people will tell you to try to help but ultimately, people on the internet might not have the same life experiences you have. Advice changes from country to country as some places have different food hygiene practices (eg in the USA people advise to avoid soft-serve ice cream but our food practices are different here in the UK).

Speak to your midwife if you need advice.

The miscarriage was not your fault. You can colour your hair or get your nails done if you wish. Presuming you are in the U.K. then read this, www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/ follow the advice given and that’s it. There’s a lot of stuff out there on the internet which applies to the US where food standards are very different so don’t go googling.

This. Wishing you well OP

I’d second what everyone else has said about the miscarriage not being your fault, OP

• However other safety things during Pg are -

-dont clean out cat litter

• don't paint (walls in house)
• don't eat shellfish
• don't eat liver
• keep your iron and calcium levels up (take pre pregnancy vitamins)

-take / eat omega oils

• limit tuna/ swordfish (mercury)
• don't get any fillings out or in
• don't get reflexology or use essential oils (1st 3 months)
• be careful with keeping food separate in fridge/on surfaces eg cooked/ uncooked meat

-try to eat organic -dont do DIY that involves dust/ solvents etc -avoid using too many toiletries/ make up products on skin/hair*

Where is this from?! My midwife has said painting the house is fine, as long as it’s well ventilated. There’s no issues with toiletries or make up, with limited exceptions such as retinol and Botox. You can get some types of fillings safely, if they’re required. Eating organic?!

Especially on a thread like t his one, that list seems designed to make every pregnant woman feel like they’re failing.

A lot of that ‘don’t’ list that a poster put up is absolute bollocks.

[quote mummyh2016]@felulageller since when has the toiletries and make up wearing been a thing? [/quote]
Never
Totally daft

Don’t listen to @felulageller

Is probably a good start

@felulageller

It wasn't your fault.

Miscarriages happen because of genetic problems with the embryo

However other safety things during Pg are -

-dont clean out cat litter

• don't paint (walls in house)
• don't eat shellfish
• don't eat liver
• keep your iron and calcium levels up (take pre pregnancy vitamins)

-take / eat omega oils

• limit tuna/ swordfish (mercury)
• don't get any fillings out or in
• don't get reflexology or use essential oils (1st 3 months)
• be careful with keeping food separate in fridge/on surfaces eg cooked/ uncooked meat

-try to eat organic -dont do DIY that involves dust/ solvents etc -avoid using too many toiletries/ make up products on skin/hair

Are you qualified to give this information? I’d love to see the data on some of the things you listed here

@Kittycaz

Thankyou ladies, I will keep an eye out on my skin products to make sure I avoid retinol. Its not that I think doing all this will stop me mc-ing it was more I'd feel less horrible if it did end bad as then I knew I did everything possible and it was totally out of my hands. If that makes sense. Last time u see I took ibuprofen at 7 weeks and I've been a bit obsessing over that as it says you shouldn't take it but I didn't know at the time. It prob wasn't from the ibuprofen but my brain just wouldn't switch off obsessing over it. I think if I do it this way where there's nothing I can obsess over I might be able to heal faster mentally if god forbid the worst happens again. Sorry I am obsessing again. Thankyou again ladies for your kind words I have my Fingers and toes crossed.

You actually can take ibuprofen, having spoken to a doctor about this, they only say you can’t on the packet because there is a limit and can depend on your pregnancy.

Ibuprofen can have effects on the baby so it would only be taken after the risk/benefits of taking it have been considered.

Think its especially not recommended after 30 weeks of pregnancy