Unwed Teacher in a Catholic School

[Lw56992]

Hi all,

This is my first time posting and not a particularly happy situation to ask a question about…

I am a teacher in a Catholic school and am currently 5 weeks pregnant. I’m not married but have been with my partner for three years. We were doing all of the things that you’re supposed to do in order to not make a baby, yet here we are!

My partner is really happy and I thought I was happy until I started thinking about work. I’m worried about so many things.

• Can they find a reason to fire me (blaming it on something other than my pregnancy) and get away with it? In my contract, it says something about supporting the Catholic ethos of the school - is that enough to get rid of me?
• Will they make my work life unbearable?
• What am I supposed to do when the priest comes in for Mass and I’ve got a huge pregnant belly?
• How am I supposed to teach the children sex ed and about no sex before marriage when pregnant?

I’ve got so worked up and upset and I can’t get myself out of this hole. I’ve started to think awful things like how my work would probably be happier if something went wrong and I ended up not having the baby.

Please, has anyone else been in this situation? I think they might expect me to get married before the baby comes but that’s so unfair… I’ll have to have a quick registry office appointment with no dress, party etc.

Please help,
I feel so down and upset and just don’t know what to think.

P.S I’m not religious myself.

I know this isn't directly in relation to you position, but I have a non Catholic family member who is in a relationship with a Catholic and they have children out of wedlock, All of the children have been baptised into the Catholic Church without as much as a blink that they aren't married, the children were baptised different Churches too in different areas of the country, so it wasn't a case of a 'lenient' Priest.

If the Church can welcome that family (amongst many others who will be the same), I'm sure your employers will celebrate and support your pregnancy.

I say this as kindly as possible but you really sound like you're getting over anxious about a non issue. There is normal maternity protection giving you no need to worry for a start. But really why do you think your trust would be so vindictive? It certainly isn't like any Catholic school I've ever heard of sounds like a relic from the past.

At our school nothing is said about the marital or relationship status of the teachers. It never occurred to me to think about this but now you've said it... I've just tbought that the young teacher ds2 had last year was probably having pre marital sex. I'd sort of assume she was if I'd ever been so crazy to think about it. Lots of practicing Catholics have premarital, or extra marital sex!!!! My ds had a lovely reception teacher who I think it was mentioned in passing she is gay, again not an issue. So many of the dc at school come from families where the parents are unmarried or single parents doing what single people do. Or gay. They don't teach no sex before marriage. Minefield. They teach about love and respect. Assume you are in secondary but still. Calm down.

I wouldn't say it was unplanned. Or make any issue about marital status.

One thing to think about it not from a religious perspective but maybe a good idea to get married from a personal and legal protection point of view. It depends if you have more assets and better earning prospects than your dp but you might want to consider getting married if you are going to be taking time out to look after baby. It might make more sense to be married... but that's nothing to do with your job!

This really does help @Lucy882206 and @MissL85 as it’s so nice to hear from others who are in the same situation. Thank you so much; you have made my day much better! Good luck with everything x