Is it worth making a birth plan?

[JackJack84]

I know how I'd like my ideal birth to go but I'm also very aware that everything can change quickly & I'm prepared to do anything that means my baby will get here safely.

I've also seen lots of people say that hcp didn't read the birth plan so I'm just wondering if it's a waste of time?

It's my first baby so I'm not sure how I'll react to the pain, I would rather not have an epidural for example but that might change if I'm in severe pain. I feel like my birth plan would be like 'this is what I'd like but I'm happy for things to change if needed'.

Any experiences you'd like to share are welcome!

I didnt bother and nobody ever asked me about it through my pregnancy or labour. I just had an idea of what I wanted like you but understood that could go out of the window which it did and then I would just do what was needed. Wanted a water birth but ended up with emcs, epidural and spinal haha. My mindset was always go with the flow and take the pain medication required when offered. I also did the positive birth company online course which really helped me keep calm and understand what was happening to my body. Goodluck!

I think that making a birth plan is useful even just so that you go through the process of thinking about the different options that might be open to you, doing some research into different pain relief etc.

My midwives have always looked at my birth plan while I was in labour, but they always asked me what I wanted on the spot rather than just following it as your feelings might change during labour.

Yes because it will help you and your DP understand what you want and help to communicate it with your mw so she can arrange it. For example I wanted pain relief, and preferred c-section over rotational forceps — mw agreed with this and supported me to arrange this with the consultants who all agreed as I was going to be on continuous monitoring due to an induction anyway - so they could intervene earlier to prevent the need for rotational forceps.

Lots of people will come on here and say they didn’t have one blah blah blah. But the fact is that when you do and your mw and medical team supports it childbirth is ALOT easier.

I always think it’s daft to call it a “plan”. Your baby hasn’t read it, ditto your body. It’s like planning the weather. It’s going to happen anyway, and you planning sunshine won’t prevent it raining!
However, it is good advice to read up on the options for pain relief, and the possibility of forceps/ventouse/section, etc, so you are well informed about what may be needed.
Keep an open mind, trust your obstetrician and midwife to know what they’re doing, and aim to be as calm as you can. Good luck!

I see that it has three purposes..

The first is so that you through the birth in a structured way to think about each part and understand it.

The second is to discuss your options at each stage with your partner so that you can have things available to you that might help and practice them beforehand. Also to communicate with each other, so that you can do that easily on the day. It can be simple things like having your partner maintain routing physical contact with you throughout.

And the third is to communicate your wishes to your care givers. If you do not want to be offered an epidural until you ask, then having that communicated in your birth preferences avoids you having to explain while you are in labour and focusing internally.

I think it's better to think of it as birth preferences. It is worth it, some people want drugs and stirrups from the get go, others want a water birth and to avoid drugs.

It's more likely to be read if it's a few sentences with pointers or in a concise format than a 4 page rambling essay. Plenty of templates online.

No. Be open to whatever you need.
My only request was for DH to cut the cord.

I did one with 1st and didn't bother with 2nd onward.

I should point out that if you put epidural into the birthplan your mw can often arrange an appointment with the anethesist & they can offer you ‘walking epidurals’ which still allow you to move and push. But if your mw doesn’t know this you might not even have the opportunity to get a normal one.

Yes. The act of researching and writing one will help you be informed about all your options and will help your partner understand your wishes.

Do it to cover lots of different scenarios though, not just the idea and say what you would prefer in each instance.

I found mine really useful for quickly communicating pre existing medical conditions too.

I had a Homebirth that was first attended by paramedics (DS was coming a bit quick!) thrusting the birth plan at them really made a difference. They read it, respected my wishes and then helped me get into the pool because they’d read it on my birth plan. They also kept pushing gas and air but didn’t understand why I kept saying no until they read the birth plan and saw that it didn’t agree with me because of existing medical conditions.

So in my case it was very useful! I imagine it would have a similar impact if you got to a hospital and baby was coming very quickly.

I literally asked a midwife I am related to just yesterday

Q - "Dogs honest truth, does anyone actually look at the pre-made birth plans?"

A - "Sometimes"

Basically if they are students or bored is most likely 😄

That said... You really should have your own ideas (which you obviously do) and don't let anyone convince you to do it in any way your not comfortable! So go in knowing as much as possible about your options so you don't have any regrets. ❤️

*you're

Yes I would look into all your options, even if it's more the process of writing one that makes you feel more informed - importantly please be aware you can say no or ask for alternative options for example when it comes to pain relief or induction for example.
For example think about do you want to be mobile during labour/ what positions/ lighting levels/ music/ do you want the midwives to chat away to you or would you rather the room be fairly quite and you get in the zone.
Do you want to use the pool?
Do you want skin to skin straight away?
Delayed cord clamping?
Injection to speed up placenta delivery or wait for it naturally?
Vitamin K injection for baby?
Even if it all goes out the window on the day you'll be armed with information on your options

I didn’t bother writing one for any of my 3 children, but every time the midwives discovered I didn’t have one they got a bit annoyed. I think it doesn’t hurt to give them an idea of how you’d like it to go even if it doesn’t go to plan. One midwife ended up writing a quick one for me during my first birth. My labour was so quick that by the time I got into hospital my contractions were on top of each other and I couldn’t catch my breath to talk, so she had to ask my partner questions about what pain relief I wanted and things like who I wanted to announce the sex/cut the cord etc.

I'm a ftm so I may be completely wrong, but I just can't face the added stress of sticking to a plan when there's no way of knowing how labour is going to go, so I'm going in with absolutely no plan at all!

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I think I'll write a list of birth preferences so at least they have an idea of what I'd like.

I'm doing the Positive Birth company hypnobirthing course which has been really helpful but I'm struggling with DP. He's the kind of person who doesn't take anything seriously, if I try to discuss affirmations & things he just makes daft jokes & says stupid things. This is his way of dealing with everything.

I've asked him if he would read some of the chapters in the book, specifically around birthing partners & he says he will but has shown no interest in actually taking it seriously. He's a very shy person around other people & I really don't feel like he could advocate for me in labour. He also flaps & panics at the slightest hint of trouble so I'm worried I'll end up feeling unsupported in labour. I'm always the strong one who sorts things out & for once I'd like to feel looked after.

Sorry this has gone off on a different tangent, just thinking about discussing my birth preferences with him gives me anxiety cos I know I can't have a serious conversation with him.

By all means consider your preferences, it's good to be informed. Be prepared to change your mind though during the event. 2 of my absolute choices went out of the window when it came to it. All worked out fine in the end.

Never have as ds was born at 28+1 aboard ( wasn't the plan) so didnt get a chance to write one and didn't give two shits about what was happing to me just wanted him to arrive alive. Saying that it was still a nice birth
2nd time was high risk but I had preferences like the birth centre /no forceps / use of the pool but was fully aware it may not have been like that.
What I think is better is to talk with your birthing partner go though what you would and wouldn't like as they are your advocate

I think its good to a have a plan - I feel like you are better informed and it prompts you to ask questions you might not have thought of.

You just to to accept that things might not go to plan and not to dwell on it.

I always read the birth plan, or ask about it.
If you’re the type of woman who is going to basically go with the flow, talk instead about birth preferences.
Where would you prefer to deliver? Home/MLU/Delivery suite.
In water, on land, whatever position you feel comfortable in
How are you happy baby being monitored? (This could depend on where you are giving birth, however, you do not need to consent to anything)
Are you happy for students?
If they needed to get baby out, would you be happy having an instrumental I.e forceps or suction cup? - some women say absolutely not to this, so it’s good to know.

Birth is an ever-changing situation, so I think it’s best to write down your preferences as a guide to your idea of a nice birth, but be aware of all the other options.
Also, definitely do not laminate anything.

Mine was really basic, i just said

• I'd prefer not to have an epidural but will if needed
• I'd prefer to be mobile
• I'd prefer not having lots of chat as not very social and don't want the pressure of having to think of things to say
• I'd like to donate the cord to Anthony Nolan cord blood service
• ultimately just do what's necessary to keep baby and me safe.

I think you can write a birth plan but for most it quickly goes out of the window once you start to have contractions. I think all you can do is be prepared and don’t discount anything.

If I had written a birth plan it wouldn’t have said anything about being 54 hours in labour and then finally being rushed down the corridor to have an emergency CS

They’ll ask you anyway, it’s not like they don’t talk to you and just read your notes.

Labour can change quickly and I think the main point is to read and understand all the pin relief options and possible outcomes.

I think it's important that your birth partner knows your wishes so that they can advocate for you if needs be.

There were things in my birth plan that we wouldn't have discussed otherwise (eg vitamin K, placenta, cord clamping) so it was useful to have those conversations beforehand.

I think it can be helpful, but make a plan based on a frank chat with your midwife or care provider rather than with the internet!

I read so many scary and misleading things when I was researching mine. Most of what I was worried about were already expressly against hospital policy and considered bad practice.

So I was primed to fight for things like trying to latch baby straight away (totally encouraged) and keep baby with me the first night, expecting someone to try and whisk the baby off to a nursery that didn’t even exist!!

There are some awful practices in the US, where they adopted the “Dublin method” (which boils down to dilating at a rate of 1cm per hour, and intervening if it’s faster or slower - it’s believed to raise caesarean rates) so I was freaked out about giving birth in Dublin in the hospital that originated the concept. What the US didn’t adopt is the practice of having a midwife with every mother, which fundamentally changes the picture.

There was no one trying to inject me with an epidural against my will, or forcing me into stirrups! But equally no one was going to refuse me pain meds just because it was in writing that I was hypnobirthing! I dilated too fast for an epidural and a birth plan demanding one wasn’t going to change that.

Also, I’ve heard a lot of new mums crying in the baby group about their birth plan and feeling that they are failures. Unrealistic plans can be dangerous to your mental health!

Plan by all means, but base it in reality and build in flexibility.