Is it worth making a birth plan?

[JackJack84]

I know how I'd like my ideal birth to go but I'm also very aware that everything can change quickly & I'm prepared to do anything that means my baby will get here safely.

I've also seen lots of people say that hcp didn't read the birth plan so I'm just wondering if it's a waste of time?

It's my first baby so I'm not sure how I'll react to the pain, I would rather not have an epidural for example but that might change if I'm in severe pain. I feel like my birth plan would be like 'this is what I'd like but I'm happy for things to change if needed'.

Any experiences you'd like to share are welcome!

Would it help to sit him down and say, look this is very important to me, I want you to really listen to what I'm saying and be sensible so that I know you can be an advocate for me during labour. If you can't do that then I'll need to consider having another birthing partner who can do that.

Mine put it off and was similar to how you describe your DP but I had the above sort of conversation and it helped. In the end though I felt quite in control throughout and he was pretty useless through no fault of his own so you might not need his advocacy as much as you think.

My midwife read my birth plan. But it wasn’t a birth plan just a list of things I’d ideally like to happen in regards to cord cutting, birth position, pain relief and what I didn’t want.

I wrote a quick one, and I was glad I did.

It just said my name, and ‘I am fine with everything, including a c section at any time, but I don’t want forceps used under any circumstances’ that was it really.

If there is something you feel strongly about, then just write it down because you might not be 100% able to get the words out on the day.

All the best!

@tnetenba

Would it help to sit him down and say, look this is very important to me, I want you to really listen to what I'm saying and be sensible so that I know you can be an advocate for me during labour. If you can't do that then I'll need to consider having another birthing partner who can do that.

Mine put it off and was similar to how you describe your DP but I had the above sort of conversation and it helped. In the end though I felt quite in control throughout and he was pretty useless through no fault of his own so you might not need his advocacy as much as you think.

Thank you for this, I think it's definitely what we need to do. Serious chats are a rarity in our household, mainly because we don't have a lot of issues but also because of his daftness. I think I just need to be firm & reiterate how important his support is to me. As you say, he may not need to do much but I'd feel comforted knowing he was on the same page as me should things go sideways.

In short, no. It will most likely only add pressure to the event and disappointment if things don't go as planned.

That said, it might be worth having some ideas as to what you definitely do / don't want. For example, mine was no forceps under any circumstances but anything else as needed to keep the baby and me safe.

Absolutely. I never did one for my first because everyone told me "haha no one even looks at it, you can't plan labour etc etc".
Now, I laminated 3 copies of my birth plan complete with some lovely graphics I found online for easy reading. No one read it. However the actual process of thinking about it and creating it was brilliant for making me actually discover and consider what my options for certain parts or scenarios would be. It was then easier to make decisions during labour because I'd already decided on preferences.

Everything went wrong for me, to the extent that I might as well have torn up the birth plan and set fire to it, but it was still really useful. It helped me think about what I would want and it may help your partner advocate for you (mine is a brilliant partner in almost every way but falls apart in medical situations and this wasn't really any different, so I think it was helpful as the - many! - midwives I had throughout the experience did look at my birth plan and followed it where they could).

@everybodysang that sounds just like my DP 😁 I guess having some birth preferences listed would help him focus

I didn't bother with birth plans for any of my three because I couldn't see any point in trying to plan the unpredictable. It was a long time ago now as my youngest daughter has just turned 19.

I am the sort of person who doesn't like deviating from my plans if I have made any. So no birth plans for me. I don't remember anyone ever asking me. All three births were very different and all had varying degrees of complication, two of them very high risk at the time. So birth plans would have gone out of the window anyway.

For some people making one works and helps them feel informed. All views of it are fine.

It's not a bad idea, really. I think, if I was to have had another, I'd have been firm beforehand about points where he might have needed to advocate for me - ie make sure I'm not labouring on my back loads, stirrups make me panic because of previous trauma so avoid or if needed then let the midwives know why it's hard for me... that kind of thing. But it can be tricky to know those things in advance.

I think it's fairly useful to give direction to whoever is supporting you.

I would recommend making two separate ones. One for your support person reminding them of everything you've practised/discussed and one for the midwives which is more basic.

For the midwife one, try to keep it less than one page, bullet pointed and as succinct as possible.

Don't include anything that's already hospital policy as it's just waffle. So things like intermittent monitoring, no episiotomy unless necessary etc will likely be unnecessary as these are standard. You can always check with your midwife at an appointment near the birth if you need to clarify policy.

Do include preference on vitamin k, cord clamping and whether you want the injection for the placenta. Those are the things I've been asked or which might differ from normal policy.

Do include any important info like allergies, phobias, language barriers etc.

I think it's helpful to include whether you're an independent person who would prefer to be left alone as much as possible vs somebody who values direction and coaching, and whether information on things like how dilated you are or what they are thinking is something you'd like to know, or whether you're a more ignorance is bliss unless you need me to do something kind of person. Bear in mind this may change on the day, but generally whichever approach you favour in life is likely to be appropriate in labour. And then a general idea of what your rough plan is for pain relief, but there's no need for huge detail, just something like "non medical options for pain relief as long as possible" or "epidural please ASAP" or "gas and air but no opiates" or whatever. You will be able to discuss the various options at the time.

If you want to have access to a birth pool, ask for this verbally as soon as you get to hospital. If it's in use, it's worth asking again in a few hours in case the lady using it has finished or changed her mind.

If there's anything that's particularly important to you in an adverse situation, include this in a separate section at the end.

I think it's better to call it "birth preferences" since you can't really plan for it.

I had a few preferences that were discussed but I decided to largely go with the flow (ie, preference was no pain relief but I was open to it if required). It's a good exercise so you know the options available to you but in my opinion, having a birth plan is potentially setting you up for disappointment. I certainly know a few people who were disappointed with how their labour played out as they couldn't get the water birth etc.

I would massively advise you look into hypnobirthing. I read Siobhan Miller's book and I found it really empowering. I'll be honest I forgot all about my breathing exercises when the time came but I really believe the book gave me so much confidence and knowledge. My labour was not what I originally envisaged but I wouldn't change a thing.

Good luck :)

Yes. It is worth doing the following (IMHO)

Birth preferences if all goes well from the beginning (plan A)
Birth preferences if baby gets in distress or you feel you can't cope and are offered various interventions such as assisted labour
Birth preferences regarding pain relief in the above plan B/C scenarios

Basically a series of if X then Y decisions so that your birth partner knows what to ask for if and when you can no longer think straight or are in immediate distress. It's also important to know if you agree to X what happens if Y. There were a few women I'd met in hospital on the postnatal ward who hadn't asked what would happen if their waters were broken for them/given a pessary etc and it didn't work and then were unfortunately taken down an intervention track they didn't want when those initial things failed.

This type of preferences plan was what I was encouraged to do by our NCT leader instead of a birth plan. It really helped when I went into labour several weeks early and my plan A went out the window (and I hadn't even had the appointment to talk about it all with my midwife when my waters broke). There was a point in labour where I felt I'd lost the plot and my partner said to me and the medic yes in this situation you said you'd want X and I suddenly remembered that! It made for a far less stressful premature labour having done as much prep as we could beforehand.

I think it's a bit like having a train ticket, you might as well ask for a seat with a scenic view, near the buffet car in an air conditioned coach etc. You might end up with something a lot less pleasant but you'll still get to the destination.
I wish I'd spent more time learning how to breastfeed and care for a baby and less time fixating on labour, tbh!

I'd go in with preferences. My only 'hard rules' were DH to cut the cord and him to tell me the sex (we didn't find out before birth) and if anything needed doing, I must be told first.

Beyond that I didn't much care what needed to be done, so long as they told me they were doing X, Y or Z and my baby arrived safely.

My midwives always read mine with all 3 births. They also kept asking me to make sure i'm still happy with the plan, so you can absolutely change your mind if you want to!

My current birth plan has just a few points on it:

• I want to stay upright and keep as mobile as possible, please remind me of this.

• if I ask for pain relief at any point please don't try and put me off.

• I want to avoid a tear at all cost so please coach me how to achieve this.

• I prefer a natural third stage but if it starts taking long (after twenty mins) please offer me the injection

with maybe a couple more points. So not much of a plan, just a few preferences.