Booked for a c section on Monday and I don’t want it :(

[August21yellowbaby]

I’ve been having growth scans through pregnancy and my last scan at 39 weeks showed the smallest drop on the centile. I also had some reduced movements the week before and I do have a quiet baby (my first so I don’t have anything to compare) but I don’t feel them move much even though placenta is at the back.
My consultant wanted to induce me but I asked to try a sweep first. This was awful and the most painful thing ever. The midwife said she wasn’t even going to attempt going in further as my cervix was so high up and closed. Consultant warned me that the induction which would of happened yesterday, would be a very long process as my cervix is not ready at all and I could be in hospital for days before I’m actually induced due to shortage of staff and beds. I really struggle being in hospital as I have severe anxiety and my mood plummets. I asked if I could just come in to be monitored everyday and wait for things to happen naturally which has always been my dream to experience child birth but the consultant said no and that it’s best to bring baby out.
I’ve been trying everything I can to bring labour on.

Has anyone else had a similar situation? Some of my friends are telling me to refuse medical intervention if I feel happy with baby which I do, but I would never forgive myself if god forbid something did go wrong 😢 I wish someone could tell me what to do, the midwife told me I would never be able to give birth naturally after a c section and that it increases risk of miscarriage and still born. I’m 26 this is my first baby I definitely want at least one more so this terrified me

I'm sorry you are going through this. I had an emergency c-section with my first after failed induction and baby distress. I found the whole experience calm and to be honest by that stage just wanted to meet my baby.
I am currently nearly 36 wks with my 2nd, I am having an elective section for other reasons but I could have gone down the natural birth route. I think it's called a VBAC if you have a vaginal birth after a c-section. So unless your midwife is basing it on other factors I'm not sure why she said that. I hope it all goes well

I gave birth naturally after a csection and so do many others. You might like to talk to a different midwife who wants to help allay your fears with whatever decision you make

I was in a very similar situation OP, opinions will vary on this, but I also didn't wait to see if things happened naturally and wouldn't now either.

Lots of people say about the high levels of intervention which is true, but the issue is that there are a lot of 'signs' that there's a chance that waiting would be risky, but it's not 100%. On the whole medical professionals would rather err on the side of x or y suggested there could be an issue, rather than after the fact having to justify why warning signs were ignored if God forbid something bad happened. That said, it is your choice, and you can speak to them about explaining the risk of waiting.

I was induced but it went on too long and so had a c section, but a planned one would be different to an emergency one, is there anything in particular you are worried about?

the midwife told me I would never be able to give birth naturally after a c section and that it increases risk of miscarriage and still born.

You can give birth vaginally after having a c section prior.

Sending you a big hug.. I’m in for a c-section on Monday too! The difference is its what I’ve wanted all along (I’m the opposite of most people) 🙈 I’m sure you can refuse intervention and be monitored instead if that’s what you want. Maybe see how things have progressed a week later then decide again? Obviously don’t know all of your medical info to know what the safest thing for you to do is!

In terms of the c-section if you are going to go for it. On the whole from what I’ve read and researched over the last 9 months, most elective c-sections go well and are nice calm experiences. Baby is with you within 5/10 minutes of them starting the op and in my hospital you can be out the following day if everything’s going well. In terms of risks I’ve found them to provide very one-sided risks of the procedure. Obviously they need to tell you all the worst case scenarios but no one lists the worst case scenarios or likelihood of them happening just before you go to attempt a vaginal birth. Do your own research online. Most risks are very very small (even rare). The most likely risk is an infection in the wound during your recovery, which can be treated with antibiotics. Many people manage a VBAC with their second child so do give birth vaginally following a c-section, unless there’s some reason why your body couldn’t. It’s also not uncommon for people to have three children by c-section nowadays. I’m now switched off to hearing anything bad about c-sections because it’s too close now so I just have to think positively and look forward to seeing my little one 😊 Good luck whatever you choose. Have a look on birth rights for more info on c-sections and on your rights to postpone/refuse medical intervention

Your midwife is talking absolute nonsense about not being able to give birth naturally after a c-section. Unless there are some other health issues you have not mentioned that’s utter tripe. Ignore her and Google ‘VBAC’. I - and many millions of other women - have gone on to have successful pregnancies and births, including vaginal births, after a c-section.

You do have the right to decline medical intervention (e.g. induction / sweep) but you need to consider whether you are mentally resilient enough to stick with your choice. I was talked round to having an induction at 41+5 and I wouldn’t have been able to go against medical advice at that stage (though with hindsight, I wish I had just asked for a c-section and not bothered with the induction). For me, the stress of thinking I was going against medical advice would not have been conducive to going into labour, but everyone is different.

In your situation I would decline the induction – especially if you found the sweep painful – and just go for the c-section. But no one can tell you what to do, though I know from experience you might want someone else to decide for you.

Have you spoken to your partner about it? Is he supportive of your wishes? Does he have an opinion?

Oh I feel for you. I’ve had 4 children, all births totally different. I’m sure that if you do have a c section this time , it doesn’t mean you can’t birth naturally next time ?! My first, I was young and petrified. Ended up giving birth with no pain relief, he came out so quick i tore badly. No way I wanted to go through that again , but I was allowed a c section with my second. It was planned and all very calm, with my 3&4th I was meant to have planned section but went into early labour which meant an emergency section, which was rushed and took more time to recover as I’d already laboured . Don’t think any birth plan go to plan as such , only you can decide what best for you and baby. Whatever you decide I wish you well, and years down the line it will be a distant memory ❤️

Are you classed as high risk now? Ask them what happens if you refuse the c section because they will probably ask you to come in everyday for a check, its easy for the consultant to say have a c section but its still major surgery!
Ask questions, even if they dont like you asking.

You absolutely can have a vaginal birth after a c-section. I have and it went very well. There are very small additional risks compared to someone who hasn't had a previous c-section, and they recommend more closely monitoring you in labour but there's no reason why you can't try for a VBAC.
Growth scans can be very inaccurate so if it's only the last scan that showed low growth then you could ask for another to check that it's correct.

CS is not as bad as some will tell you. You can try for a vbac in future pregnancies if you want to, they may recommend cs again but it is very much your choice.

My 1st elcs I did not want.

I had breech and transverse twins, they explained that the placentas are less efficient after 38wk and that increases the risk of stillbirth so they wanted the girls out then at the very latest. Weighing up the risks to the babies vs the risks for me I decided I was a lot less important than them and had the elcs. It was a lot better than I expected, I did have heavy blood loss but was fine and recovered well.
Our current baby is measuring very big, they were happy for me to go vbac but they want to bring her early which would mean possible full induction which I am not up for. I had induction with our 1st, took 3 days to get to 4cm, had to have the hormone drip for over 7.5hrs which is horrid. Ended up with an epidural, fetal distress and an assisted delivery. Swore off them and had 2 spontaneous labours with much bigger babies and those were a lot better (and unassisted) births. I'm booked in for elcs on Tuesday at 39wk and happy with my decision, if she decides to come before then I will try vbac (doubt she will though).

Good luck

Please try not to worry. I was terrified in the run up to mine even though I knew it was the safest option. It was really calm, pleasant and actually a great experience meeting my dd like that. The recovery wasn't as bad as the spd I'd been suffering from so for me I felt better the day after the section than the day before it despite having had surgery. You will be fine

That's bullshit from your midwife, you absolutely can have a natural birth after a csection.

@Catchthepigeons this is very reassuring 🙌🏼 Really hope mine is the same

I wouldn't have had it any other way looking back @sarah13xx it took the worry about dd getting stuck away, everyone was so kind and the atmosphere was just light and reassuring, the consultant had the radio on, and I was talking to the anaesthetist about game of thrones. It was just easy. Obviously it was uncomfortable the first few days after but no where near what I was expecting. Felt totally normal after about 8/9 days

You have three choices when induction is suggested:

Medical induction
Expectant management
Elective C-section

You do not have to have an elective c-section if you don't want to. However it would be my choice in comparison to a long drawn out induction lasting 3-5 days and likely ending in instrumental delivery or emergency c-section. If you have a read through some of the ELCS experience threads on MN it actually sounds quite calm and nice.

They are not allowed to refuse expectant management although they can strongly advise against it if it is felt that the risks are very high. I'm struggling to see in your case why it is felt that the risks are so high. If you do go for expectant management then you should be able to have a discussion with your care providers about why they want to induce, what expectant management would be looking for and at what point you'd be happy to be induced or have the operation.

Would it be an option to look at a different hospital or ask for a second opinion?

It sounds like you're being told really contradictory things though. Certainly as others have said, a caesarean birth is no barrier to vaginal birth in the future if that's something you'd like to do. So it might not be as bad as you fear if it does turn out to be a sensible option.

Another idea might be to look for somebody like a doula locally who can help support you to make a decision which is right for you. They know more about the medical options and different risks than the average person but they can also help you advocate for your own wishes.

@Catchthepigeons wow that’s great! I think I’m building it up much more than I need to and I should just try to relax and ‘enjoy’ the day as much as possible

Your midwife is chatting shit.

In regards to the section, my baby stopped growing and I also had reduced movements and from around 28w. Because the baby was so small they said trying to give birth vaginally would add more risk for the baby and a section would be the safest option for us both.

I was scanned weekly and he still wasn't growing so at 34w I was taken in to have injections for his lungs and he was delivered 2 days later.

It didn't bother me, he was safer outside than in and that's all I thought of.

Vbacs are very common and encouraged so please ignore your midwife on that front.

In regards to this situation, you can only do what’s best for you. Personally, I’d be having the Caesarian as the risks would seem to be lower than the alternative. It is very black and white to the consultants but I am sure they have yours abs babies best interests at heart and it truly sounds like your body wouldn’t welcome an induction.

wait for things to happen naturally which has always been my dream to experience child birth

Please try to manage your expectations. Very few women experience calm, joyful births without incident and no lingering issues afterwards. We'd all like one, very few get one.

I'd have liked one, I got an emergency section. But I got DD, so that's the real point.

If your midwife really did say that then please complain about them as a matter of urgency as they are not fit to be practicing.
I’d personally talk to the consultant and take their advice, they tend not to lightly suggest c-sections so if that’s their recommendation then it’s probably for a very good reason. I know it’s not the birth you wanted but if it helps I’ve had 2 and they were both lovely, calm experiences.
Good luck!

I can understand op, I have a similar decision to make (induction vs Caesarean) which sucks bcos after an extremely problematic pregnancy I was hoping for spontaneous labour.

Agree with other re midwife not giving you accurate info. You may have an slightly increased for next child but it’s not a done deal.

You said you wish someone could tell you what to do- I often found myself wanting this too throughout this pregnancy when making difficult decisions but in this case your consultant has told & advised you.

Surely that’s enough for you to go along with it? I suppose I’m coming at it from, I would never forgive myself if something went wrong and had been advised what you had. I would always blame myself and we know, especially me from my previous pregnancy, things can go wrong very quickly with fatal results.

I hope you are able to come to a decision you are comfortable and happy with

I was in a similar position when I had my first baby. I was admitted due men having pre eclampsia and baby's growth slowing. My choice was induction or a section. The MWs were all keen for me to choose the induction, but I wasn't even 38 weeks, the head was high and cervix unfavourable. I opted for a section. I knew that this wasn't a "normal" situation and that there was a high likelihood that I'd need a section anyway. I figured it was better to get it done in daylight, when I wasn't exhausted after hours of a probably pointless induction process. From my observations I also think that on average people who've had planned sections seem to recover better tgan those who've had emergency ones and the experience seems a lot less stressful. I quite enjoyed it. It wasn't what I'd imagined but it was calm, controlled and safe for us both. I was up and about next day and saiking within a month. Obviously not everyone's recovery is so good and there are no guarantees, but I think bad news travels fast. Its human nature that people talk about difficult experiences more than straightforward ones so its easy to think that all sections are awful. They aren't. Plenty of wonen have perfectly good experiences.
And as others have said, unless there are other factors that you've not mentioned your MW is talking complete garbage. I have had 2 vaginal births subsequently. I am glad I had the opportunity to experience that but I don't regret opting for a section first time.
Ultimately it's your choice though and nobody can force you to have surgery that you don't consent to. But a planned section doesn't have yo be a bad experience so try not to view ot as a negative thing.

It’s your body & your birth. If you do not want to do anything then that is absolutely your right. Doctors do not have the right to force anything on you - you must give informed consent.

If you would prefer to wait then wait - if you want to try induction then try that. The induction will take longer but you could ask about an outpatient induction or accept that the length of time in hospital to give birth vaginally may sound better to you than section.

It’s your choice & don’t let anyone make you think otherwise xx

Having had a few babies, I'd really reccomend a c section.
It sounds like going for a natural birth in your situation would be very stressful and anxiety inducing as they're concerned about baby so you'll be under lots of monitoring, they may be pushing induction interventions to help you progress, it's your first which are often long and hard labours...
I speak from experience.
I'd go fkr the c section which will be quick, calm, scheduled and safe for you and baby.

Thank you everyone, obviously my main priority is that the baby is born safely but I just feel like I’ve been handed two options which neither is what I wanted, I strangely was looking forward to things like my waters breaking, the contractions, the pain, and being proud of myself for giving birth. I feel like my baby is fine and that the doctors just want to cover their own backs. Also, the comments I received by the midwife I repeated to the consultant who said that vbac is possible but can be harder, but because I was told by the midwife it was a massive “no” I still kind of believed her and that seed has been sown in my mind along with the miscarriage and still birth comment. Realistically the section would be better for me with my anxiety, even though I’m still so anxious about the surgery, at least I kind of know what to expect, whereas with an induction it’s the unknown what the outcome will be. I found the sweep very very painful and stressful, and an induction would mean I would be getting checked down there a lot, which is something I don’t deal well with. My biggest fear is feeling regret, and wishing I had at least tried the induction.

Maybe come to a compromise with your consultant and ask to be induced but to be able to have the option of section if it gets too much. I can’t see that being a problem?