Booked for a c section on Monday and I don’t want it :(

[August21yellowbaby]

I’ve been having growth scans through pregnancy and my last scan at 39 weeks showed the smallest drop on the centile. I also had some reduced movements the week before and I do have a quiet baby (my first so I don’t have anything to compare) but I don’t feel them move much even though placenta is at the back.
My consultant wanted to induce me but I asked to try a sweep first. This was awful and the most painful thing ever. The midwife said she wasn’t even going to attempt going in further as my cervix was so high up and closed. Consultant warned me that the induction which would of happened yesterday, would be a very long process as my cervix is not ready at all and I could be in hospital for days before I’m actually induced due to shortage of staff and beds. I really struggle being in hospital as I have severe anxiety and my mood plummets. I asked if I could just come in to be monitored everyday and wait for things to happen naturally which has always been my dream to experience child birth but the consultant said no and that it’s best to bring baby out.
I’ve been trying everything I can to bring labour on.

Has anyone else had a similar situation? Some of my friends are telling me to refuse medical intervention if I feel happy with baby which I do, but I would never forgive myself if god forbid something did go wrong 😢 I wish someone could tell me what to do, the midwife told me I would never be able to give birth naturally after a c section and that it increases risk of miscarriage and still born. I’m 26 this is my first baby I definitely want at least one more so this terrified me

@August21yellowbaby I think when you’re handed your lovely baby the last emotion you will be feeling is regret but you need to be comfortable with your choice. I wasn’t born with that desire to push a baby out my nether regions like some people though 🤣 Go through different scenarios and think what you would rather. If the induction takes days and ends in an emergency c-section would you feel better about that or worse? Obviously ideal scenario would be the induction is straightforward and baby arrives soon but how likely will that be if they don’t seem to be encouraging it? The still birth risk in future was very very tiny when I looked it up. I plan to wait at least 2 years before having another baby so I’m fully healed internally and scar tissue is at a minimum but I’m sure many people don’t wait long which potentially increases the risks of things like miscarriages in future.

I had growth scans because my dd was small, not an issue until my bump looked smaller and I went in to find that my waters had been trickling and there were none around her. I had an induction via the pessary which failed after 10 days, this was in 2016 and I had my dh and mum with me all day for company had I been on my own I would have gone off the rails. That is not an exaggeration my mh suffered watching women after women go off to have her baby whilst I was stuck on the prenatal ward. I had to have a section as they wouldn't delay things any further. The experience wasn't pleasant and the recovery worse but when my dd was delivered they realised that my placenta had calcified. It basically stopped working a few weeks ago and I was very lucky my dd was not stillborn.

I wholeheartedly understand the desire not to have a birth full of interventions and sometimes do think consultants in particular are risk adverse when they don't need to be (my current pregnancy for instance). You absolutely can try for a vbac should you want to in a subsequent pregnancy but it would depend on how that individual pregnamcy progresses. You might encounter some difficulty with a consultant taking on board your wishes but there is no point worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.

A baby dropping percentiles is more worrying than one following a low percentile all the way through a pregnancy. In this case I would go with your consultant's advice however you can ask for a second opinion and absolutely should if you are not sure.

Sending loads of positivity your way x

If you found the sweep to be painful then the contractions and pain of labour could be problematic. Obviously if the Obstetrician is advising an elective c-section it's because risk assessment has probably shown that this may be the safest route to healthy mum and baby. Without reading your maternity record it is clear that we can't all know the implications that have prompted your Obstetrician to issue that choice. But you have mentioned some weight issues with baby and baby being quiet. It could mean that Obstetrician thinks baby will thrive better on the outside than on the inside. Whatever you decide good luck!! I hope everything goes well! Please come back and tell us when you meet your little one! X

If the consultant is recommending a section there is a very good reason for it, especially in this country where they usually try to avoid them.

Getting too hung up on the birth is a bit like going mental about a wedding and forgetting that the marriage is why you are there. The only people I know who still think or are bothered about theirs birth are the women (or their babies) who were badly damaged - often as a result of an induction. Your baby will be much safer with a section, why take the risk?

If you’re prone to anxiety and MH issues, please don’t underestimate to impact of a 2-3 day induction followed by labour, so you are absolutely shattered by the time the baby arrives

The best ‘gift’ I had from my ELCS was being well rested until the baby arrived

I saw a couple of friends absolutely go to the wall with exhaustion due to midwives insisting on inductions which were clearly not going to work, meaning they had to recover from an emergency section on days of sleep deprivation, on top of having to care for a new born

I am in a similar situation. I am trying for a VBAC this time (after ELCS 16 months ago) but have an ELCS booked for Tuesday (as they don’t like to induce women or let them go too far over if you’ve had a previous CS). I will be 40+6 on Tuesday.

Your midwife is wrong - you can absolutely decide on a VBAC next time if you wish.

I am still undecided wether a VBAC or ELCS is best for me - but I will say: On the plus side, my ELCS was calm, fun and I enjoyed the experience. However, my recovery was incredibly painful, long, and I struggled to breastfeed and bond. I just didn’t feel like my body was ready to birth the baby yet (at 40+2). I think we take for granted the recovery process of major major abdominal surgery and the importance natural hormones play in the birthing process.

However, previous posters are right. I think we have an ideal expectation of what a dream birth is, but in reality it rarely pans out that way - and the most important thing is you and your baby are safe.

Ask if they can get you in for growth scan everyday rather than an induction. An induction is something I would avoid at all costs. I would rather opt for an ELCS. There were 8 girls in my previous NCT group. I was the only ELCS. All 7 of the others were induced and ALL ended up with EMCS.

Best of luck. The main thing is your baby is safe - and if they are true worried about growth, opt for the safe side and go with ELCS. It will be a much more pleasant experience than induction/EMCS (daylight hours so staff are more aware/awake and on hand to help you afterwards, exciting, calm, planned and organised) and follow all of the post-op advice. X

I had a very unwanted c section at 34 weeks due to problems with blood flow to the baby. I resisted it but was advised that it was the only safe option. A few years on and I am sad I will never know what it feels like to labour or push out a baby (she is my only child), but it is in the past and I am fine. And importantly so is my daughter. It's ok to feel sad about. I read threads on here about sections being joyous occasions and I don't recognise that at all, but it was a medical procedure that did what it needed to.

A VBAC should be an option if you have other children. They are not uncommon.

I had an elective CS as my daughter was breach. Very easy preparation and successful operation. Recovery took longer than a VB. I took the advice of the doctors and had a healthy and happy baby. I did not have any other children and although I sometimes think about “missing out” on the experience of a natural birth, I can’t dwell on it - much better to be healthy.

Deep breath OP, it will be ok, as you say, as long as baby arrives safely and you are ok. Nothing else matters. Good luck.

Trust me once the pain starts you won't be glad or excited any more :o you just want to get through it and meet your baby in whatever way you can.

I honestly don't think the experience is worth going through in any kind of high risk/complicated scenario. I've had two natural births and am expecting a third (of course whatever happens on the day will happen) and I really don't get the pride thing - I think it's misguided. I'm aiming for a natural birth again simply because although it's painful and unpleasant and I'd absolutely love an excuse to skip it, the recovery is simply much faster. I see it as condensing all the pain from c-section recovery into one very intense and not fun day of my life.

It is very very rare to have a totally blissful/orgasmic/hypnotic birth. Some people do seem to have that experience but for most people, honestly you're really not missing much! And if it works out that you have more DC in the future, you can always look into VBAC, that would highly likely be a good option for you as having a section due to to slow growth and reduced movement isn't an issue that's likely to reoccur in a future pregnancy.

If you feel very very strongly about maximising your chances of a vaginal birth this time, then I would push for induction rather than c-section if the arrival is really recommended, or ask for a second opinion on expectant management/for more information about why they don't think this is an appropriate option in your case. But you should definitely take into account the concerns about induction not being likely to work, likely to be drawn out, likely to be a painful and stressful experience and end in a complicated delivery (potentially also EMCS) anyway. I know a lot of people who say that they would rather have skipped the stressful induction part and just gone for an ELCS rather than have the EMCS they had in the end anyway. I expect this is what the consultant is thinking as well. But it's your body and your decision. Just because the c-section has been booked, it doesn't mean you have to take it. Keep the discussion open about the different options.

@August21yellowbaby

ive had both vaginal and csection, I recovered quicker from the vaginal one but it hurt like hell obvs. Elcs was a walk in the park in comparison but I got an infection and had to stay in the hospital which was shit. But - you never know what you’re getting of course.

Hi OP,

Sorry you’re in this situation. I do understand how you feel & just to give you another perspective on this - I had an ELCS yesterday that I absolutely did not want and the weeks leading up to it were really fraught. I was so emotionally invested in having another natural birth experience that the thought of a c section just didn’t sit well with me. Like you I wanted to experience waters breaking etc and felt I’d regret not trying to birth naturally.

My ELCS was advised because of a previous tear and because of baby’s growth tailing off due to low Papp-a.

I can honestly say right now that the safe arrival of my little boy has completely eclipsed all of those feelings I had and all that really matters is that he was delivered safely. So please try not to dwell on any feelings of regret that you think you might have for choosing a c section.

And as other posters have said, you absolutely can have a vbac next time if you wish to!

Good luck OP x

In terms of the sweep being unbearable for you- it’s not just internal exams but with induction they will need to insert a pessary or balloon into your cervix and leave it there, as well as internal exams and potentially breaking your waters with a hook too.

I honestly think you’ve got this fairytale magic idea of birth and unfortunately right now induction is unlikely to offer that either- with a cervix so high and un-ready (it doesn’t sound like they were able to do a sweep even?) induction can be an exceptionally long process. Many hospitals still aren’t allowing birth partners until you’re in active labour either so you’d be doing it alone? So many people have an epidural with a prolonged induction and many don’t have their waters break (induction or no!) until the babies born.

Ultimately surely what matters is baby being safe? Consultants are “risk averse” because of the devastation stillbirths cause- of course they should do everything they can to avoid that. But in my experience they do weigh the risks.

Just wanted to say good luck today @August21yellowbaby and also to @sarah13xx and @Chelyanne for tomorrow. 💐

@Aranciata thank you ❤️

Thanks @Aranciata

What centile is your baby on?

Is your hospital following the saving babies pathway? Were you able to get your bishops score? Do you know the hospitals induction protocol?

I was induced for a small baby at 37 weeks (by sbp they wouldn’t have induced me) but I was a bishops score of 3 and they were all very very cynical about my induction working, but it did. I had the 24 pessary and it worked within 12 hours.

Hope everything went well OP! X