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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Advice appreciated. IVF baby.

53 replies

TheFirstMrsDV · 28/07/2021 20:08

Hi.
I am a long term member of MN but haven't posted for years.
My daughter's best friend is about 34 weeks pregnant (her being my daughter's bf is relevant if you know my back story)

This is an ivf baby. Her chances of getting pregnant and staying pregnant were very low. To be honest I don''t think any of us thought she would go to term. She is trying to stay as calm as possible but its a difficult pregnancy. I think she is doing brilliantly in the circumstances.
She is getting confusing messages about how long she will be allowed to go over her due date.
She was told by her IVF hospital that she wouldn't be allowed to go over. She was likely to be induced slight early if anything.
Her birthing hospital (not a specialist hospital) is bemused at this and said as she is young (29) it won't make any difference that its an IVF baby.
She was told yesterday that the baby is a bit small.
Her mum never went to term with her pregnancies. So they don't have family experience of 'normal' birth.
I have no experience of IVF or caesarean or inducing. I had my four birth children more or less on time with no intervention.

Does anyone have any advice to give?

OP posts:
MGee123 · 28/07/2021 21:30

I do understand that, so encourage her to speak about it with the clinicians looking after her as they know her situation best. Online forums are great but most people can only relay their own experiences which are unique to them and their situation. You don't know the clinical reasoning behind the detail of the decision making in their case. As you can see, there are different processes at different trusts depending on different individual situations. She has been advised by her trust currently caring for her (as I presume the IVF clinic is no longer involved) that there is no cause for her pregnancy to be treated differently. If she has more questions on the reasoning she should ask them. I really hope all goes well for her after such a challenging journey.

TheApprentice · 28/07/2021 21:42

I remember in an ante natal class being told that one of the most challenging things we would have to deal with is conflicting advice from different HCPs. So true! Wishing her and the baby all the best.

Cocomelt · 28/07/2021 21:51

Hey, I'm 40 weeks today with my IVF baby. I've had mixed messages throughout my pregnancy from midwives and consultants (It's rare I see the same one). The decision has been made today that I can go 2 weeks over. Although it's IVF, I'm still classed as low risk as I haven't had any other problems. From what I can gather this advice changes based on your particular trust.

senoritarita · 28/07/2021 22:02

I had ivf baby and never ever heard this. Only 3 years ago and I was nearly 40

Original poster
TheFirstMrsDV · 29/07/2021 11:44

@Cocomelt that’s really useful to know . Good luck with your new baby

OP posts:
MF1981 · 29/07/2021 12:25

I agree with @MGee123 - I've been told by my midwife and consultant that once you stop taking the IVF drugs (usually between 9 and 12 weeks) that you're classed as a "normal" pregnancy unless there have been other complications such as recurrent loss, endo etc. My only risk factors now are my age (40), first pregnancy and the fact that I'm carrying twins.

Cocomelt · 29/07/2021 16:24

@TheFirstMrsDV Thank you. It really did stress me out having all different advice throughout so I can completely sympathise with your daughters friend. I hope she manages to enjoy the last few weeks.

Perching · 29/07/2021 16:26

No knowledge of IVF babies but just wanted to say it is so lovely to ‘see’ you and hope you are very well x

kikisparks · 30/07/2021 08:55

My pregnancy is IVF and I’ve been told I will be induced at 40 weeks, I have a sweep booked for 39 weeks.

WhatsTheTimeMrCat · 30/07/2021 09:02

No knowledge of IVF pregnancy here but she would be within her rights to ask for an elective section at 39 weeks if that is what she would like, for no reason beyond that is what she would prefer (maternal choice) - if she is anxious and wants a concrete plan, this may not be a bad option.

I have had two sections myself (emergency then elective) and I don’t minimise the fact that it’s major surgery but it is also a very valid option - if, and only if, she would like consider it. If she does think she might want to go down this route, she should explore it with her midwife at the earliest opportunity (and it would be wise to mention the effect on her mental health, being as you mentioned mini panics).

daphnedoo12 · 30/07/2021 09:03

I had an ivf baby (he was huge though, born via csection at 39 weeks due to size) didn't disappoint at 10lb 1oz

They did discuss inducing at 39 weeks, due to the risks of him being an ivf baby but they didn't actually discuss the risks. I never got around to discussing them because quite early on we knew the best pathway for us was a csection at 39 weeks

WhatsTheTimeMrCat · 30/07/2021 09:06

Really hope it all goes smoothly for her.

One thing to bear in mind is that they may be more open to a section if this is likely to be her only baby (as the risks do increase if you have multiple sections).

IAmWomxxnHearMeRoar · 30/07/2021 09:46

IVF pregnancies are generally not supposed to go over term because it's associated with issues for the baby. That said, at my hospital the midwife said that in my case (I think because I did not have fertility problems), it didn't matter, and my DD was born 9 days late just hours before I was due to be induced.
There is a general rule about IVF not going over term, but it does also depend a bit.

Ozanj · 30/07/2021 09:55

@TheFirstMrsDV

Hi. I am a long term member of MN but haven't posted for years. My daughter's best friend is about 34 weeks pregnant (her being my daughter's bf is relevant if you know my back story)

This is an ivf baby. Her chances of getting pregnant and staying pregnant were very low. To be honest I don''t think any of us thought she would go to term. She is trying to stay as calm as possible but its a difficult pregnancy. I think she is doing brilliantly in the circumstances.
She is getting confusing messages about how long she will be allowed to go over her due date.
She was told by her IVF hospital that she wouldn't be allowed to go over. She was likely to be induced slight early if anything.
Her birthing hospital (not a specialist hospital) is bemused at this and said as she is young (29) it won't make any difference that its an IVF baby.
She was told yesterday that the baby is a bit small.
Her mum never went to term with her pregnancies. So they don't have family experience of 'normal' birth.
I have no experience of IVF or caesarean or inducing. I had my four birth children more or less on time with no intervention.

Does anyone have any advice to give?

I have a clotting disorder and autoimmune thyroid disease both of which can cause stillbirth, my consultant had no idea about it and was pig ignorant in other ways too, and I had to push for a 40 week induction on MH terms because I was 6 months younger than the age the NHS would have recommended it anyway. I think if she isn’t comfortable going to term she needs to demand an induction at 38-40 weeks.

If she isn’t comfortable doing this then she can hire a private midwife to use as a birth partner. These women are more respected by NHS consultants / other midwives and can convince them of the urgent nature of things.

Ozanj · 30/07/2021 09:56

I should point out that by demanding an induction on my due date I saved my son’s life. As my placenta had predictably started to fail a few weeks beforehand and nobody realised.

Lockdownbear · 30/07/2021 11:52

They did discuss inducing at 39 weeks, due to the risks of him being an ivf baby but they didn't actually discuss the risks

All I got told on the additional 'risk' is if your body doesn't know how to get pregnant it might not know how to go into labour.

Which actually makes very little sense. But I genuinely think it's they just see IVF babies as being a little more "precious / special" than an natural conception and they want to act on the side of extra caution.
And nobody wants to collect the data to see what the risk actually is. What IVF mum is going to accept being in a control group of waiting to see if you labour naturally. 🤔

willithappen · 30/07/2021 11:56

I am 17 weeks via IVF and have been told I will be offered induction at 39 weeks. As well as that I am to have a scan every four weeks from 28 weeks until birth to check on everything

Ozanj · 30/07/2021 12:20

@Lockdownbear

They did discuss inducing at 39 weeks, due to the risks of him being an ivf baby but they didn't actually discuss the risks

All I got told on the additional 'risk' is if your body doesn't know how to get pregnant it might not know how to go into labour.

Which actually makes very little sense. But I genuinely think it's they just see IVF babies as being a little more "precious / special" than an natural conception and they want to act on the side of extra caution.
And nobody wants to collect the data to see what the risk actually is. What IVF mum is going to accept being in a control group of waiting to see if you labour naturally. 🤔

The risk isn’t with women with a known medical problem / age related issues as these women will be monitored but those with ‘unknown’ fertility issues as they are more likely to have miscarriages. It’s ridiculous but most couples who go through ivf aren’t offered any kind of advanced testing until 3 cycles fail if at all. So if you respond well it’s very possible for a clotting disorder to get missed for example until it starts causing placental failure or preclampsia.
Lockdownbear · 30/07/2021 12:32

@Ozanj that makes a bit of sense.

I have PCOS, My first was a natural conception and labour. Second was IVF and not allowed to go over my date. The reason I was given didn't make much sense but maybe they have other reasons they don't want to panic people about.

Blissful ignorance!

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 30/07/2021 12:37

Congratulations for your friend. It’s very dependent on hospital. Some places say to bring baby as close to term as possible. Others say it’s fine to leave to go over if baby and mother all ok.

My boy was ivf. They wanted to induce at 39+2 due to ivf. Everything was fine with me and baby. I said I wanted to wait until at least term. So I agreed induction at 40+2 he was born at 40+3 perfectly healthy.

The decision is in your friends hands. She can refuse early induction if she wants. Ivf is not a a good enough reason for early induction.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 30/07/2021 12:39

Also. I was told the ‘risk’ is with and ivf baby the dates are exact. With a natural pregnancy it goes from previous period and so you wouldn’t be at term until another two weeks if that makes sense as you ovulate
roughly two weeks after period?

Giraffephan · 30/07/2021 12:43

Dd is an ivf baby and I was told that I wouldn’t be allowed to go over 40 weeks as there is some evidence that the placenta starts to fail and they don’t want to risk that.
Dd had other ideas anyway and popped out at 34 weeks.

Ozanj · 30/07/2021 12:45

[quote Lockdownbear]@Ozanj that makes a bit of sense.

I have PCOS, My first was a natural conception and labour. Second was IVF and not allowed to go over my date. The reason I was given didn't make much sense but maybe they have other reasons they don't want to panic people about.

Blissful ignorance![/quote]
Yes exactly. I have pcos, a clotting disorder and an autoimmune condition. Got a consultant because of pcos and the autoimmune condition but she had no idea how the clotting disorder worked and so referred me to a hemotogist who said effectively that NHS says it’s not a clotting disorder & I should be allowed to run to 42 weeks which was particularly awful as I was only 6 months from the date where they would have induced me at 39!

Ozanj · 30/07/2021 12:47

@Whatelsecouldibecalled

Also. I was told the ‘risk’ is with and ivf baby the dates are exact. With a natural pregnancy it goes from previous period and so you wouldn’t be at term until another two weeks if that makes sense as you ovulate roughly two weeks after period?
It should also be pointed out that by the time an embryo is implanted it is often 7 days old. So you effectively have a 41 week old baby at 40 weeks.
willithappen · 30/07/2021 17:27

@Ozanj I'm not sure that's correct since ivf due dates are worked out based on that information? They already take into account the age of embryo when it's transferred