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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What you wish you had known..?

50 replies

SweetSunflowerBoo · 28/07/2021 20:02

Is there anything you wish you had learned or been told about pregnancy/giving birth/ post partum/ having a newborn- before you experienced it??

Just looking for ideas or advice from people's experience

Just for some insight I'm 23 weeks and it's my first pregnancy beyond 8weeks

So first time mum 💙

Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Emf676 · 28/07/2021 20:10

Awake times from newborn and Buy a love to dream swaddle :)

Emf676 · 28/07/2021 20:11

Also you will bleed for a few weeks even with a c-section

mussie · 28/07/2021 20:19

I wish I had known that my Trust do hire of hospital grade breast pumps if you need them! I arranged a hire privately when I had latching issues and could've saved myself a fortune if I'd known 🤦🏼‍♀️ though my HV should probably have told me! With BF, everything I read in the La Leche League BF book came in very useful.

I also wish I had known how two weeks paternity leave is really, really, really not enough - fortunately there was a pandemic so OH was home longer, I honestly do not know how I could have cared for a two week old infant on my own for days and weeks without completely falling to pieces. Eternally grateful for the extra time we had as a three!

AdaThorne · 28/07/2021 20:31

Breast feeding if you have PCOS can be impossible depending on your symptoms / situation. I gave BF a good try but my first baby ended up malnourished and losing 17% of her body weight in the first five days because BF just didn’t work for us. It took her being hospitalised before anyone would help me and suggest formula would be ok rather than coming up with advice on how I should breastfeed ‘better’, increase milk supply etc.

It was six months later I read something in a magazine about the correlation and I cried. The first couple of weeks of DD’s life she just screamed from hunger and we were new parents who didnt know what was going on. We relied on the advice and that was just always keep trying best feeding, with DC2 i combination fed from the beginning. Happy baby from day one.

Horehound · 28/07/2021 20:36

The smell of your pads for the week after birth is weird.

If you can't owe you might get a catheter

If the heartbeat Doppler doesn't work to get the baby's heartbeat then they might need to go up your vagina and screw a wire into the top of your babies head to get accurate readings...this one was quite eye opening for me as I had no idea about it and was so sad they had to screw something into my babies head and he wasn't even born nor got pain relief.

Just how sore contractions were and how do you know when to call midwife. I waited 24 hours and then called at 5.30am when I couldn't take any more.
I wish I had tried to keep walking around/moving in the earlier stages of labour.

tuxedocat · 28/07/2021 20:42

Once your waters break, fluid continually leaks until birth!

I didn’t realise and had a poor midwife putting puppy pads out so I didn’t slip and break my neck 😂

thingymaboob · 28/07/2021 20:42

Wish I had known that some women who breastfeed can breastfeed very well if there's a baby attached to breast but that doesn't mean you'll be able to use a pump. I spent hours every day for two months trying to pump and could only get 20 mls. I finally saw a lactation consultant who said that some women cannot pump because the brain knows it's not a baby there. The tears and time I spent trying to pump!

Horehound · 28/07/2021 20:43

Oh also that you need to wake your baby every two hours or so and feed them. My boy slept and slept and slept and so did I after being awake more than 72 hours and o just didn't wake up to feed and he ended up with very bad jaundice and too tired to feed so got readmitted to hospital.
There is a lot of focus on birth weight. Be prepared if you are wanting to BF that of your milk only comes in properly on day 4 or something that you may need to top up feeds with formula.

The first baby poops are like black and green treacle.

They have mucus on their lungs that comes up and we had to be shown by midwife what to do.

If baby is at a weird angle whilst youre in labour then there are exercises you can do to try and rectify that and midwives can give you a peanut shape ball to use to help.

The food after birth is shit. I had a baked potato and it literally was a baked potato and a tiny pot of grated cheese
Take lots of food! My husband went home and cooked some meals then came back with it all packaged up like a picnic. Was fab.

PolkadotSkies · 28/07/2021 20:43

Lots of your hair falls out after pregnancy, and your eyesight gets worse!

Post-natal care in the UK is appalling.

daphnedoo12 · 28/07/2021 20:44

Csection recovery was harder than I thought

I bled for 12 weeks

Newborns do sleep, just not at the times you would normally sleep, I struggled to "sleep when they sleep"

Wish I'd of stocked my freezer with batch meals

Don't host people, the amount of pain I was in and making cups of teas for family who barely bothered with me pre-baby

Big knickers are the best

Patapouf · 28/07/2021 20:49

@PolkadotSkies

Lots of your hair falls out after pregnancy, and your eyesight gets worse!

Post-natal care in the UK is appalling.

Eyesight!! That explains a lot, I went to the optician because I felt like I could barely focus to see which was worrying as a non-glasses wearer. He said that my eyes were just tired from lack of sleep and there was nothing wrong with my vision.

PolkadotSkies · 28/07/2021 20:50

Oh also there is no such medical condition as "colic". Doctors, nurses, midwives and health visitors often attempt to fob women off with outdated/ presudoscientific claims rather than address an issue.

PolkadotSkies · 28/07/2021 20:55

@Patapouf it's crazy that even opticians don't know this! Mine got so much worse. It's best to wait 6 months at least after birth before getting a new prescription, so it stabilises.

sleepyhoglet · 28/07/2021 20:57

That some midwives aren't very sympathetic when they visit for the appointment at home post birth (if they even still do this). I suppose they get a bit numbed to it all but even with a 'good' birth (I had a small epesiotomy) healing is still very sore. I couldn't sit down and was sitting on an inflatable ring and she was not impressed with me!

PolkadotSkies · 28/07/2021 20:58

Oh another one: never take a baby out inn a sling if they've eaten a pouch of prune purée!

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 28/07/2021 21:02

Don't bother buying a changing table. Top of a chest of drawers does the job just fine. Apart from a cot/cot bed waste money on baby furniture, just buy full size stuff that lasts.....

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 28/07/2021 21:06

And breastfeed if you want to/can but don't worry about it if you don't want to/can't. The amount of women I've seen ruin their first weeks with baby by stressing out over breastfeeding really makes me sad!

blairresignationjam · 28/07/2021 21:07

All babies sleep better swaddled, they will seem like they're fighting it but persevere!
The secret to swaddling is the completely PIN each arm completely STRAIGHT to their sides. If not straight they will escape.

Provencerose · 28/07/2021 21:12

There’s a reason people tell you to buy BIG black pants for the post birth weeks- the bigger the better!

Newborns are incredibly noisy at night- like little piglets.

The day before/day of both my births, just before going into labour, a strange calmness washes over you and the birth related anxiety washes away.

You will be so incredibly hungry after giving birth.

Second time around the afterpains are actually like labour pains. Really intense.

There is no feeling like the first few hours after giving birth. I wish it could be bottled up.

Provencerose · 28/07/2021 21:13

Your waters don’t necessarily break

WavesAndLeaves · 28/07/2021 21:16

@Provencerose

There’s a reason people tell you to buy BIG black pants for the post birth weeks- the bigger the better!

Newborns are incredibly noisy at night- like little piglets.

The day before/day of both my births, just before going into labour, a strange calmness washes over you and the birth related anxiety washes away.

You will be so incredibly hungry after giving birth.

Second time around the afterpains are actually like labour pains. Really intense.

There is no feeling like the first few hours after giving birth. I wish it could be bottled up.

It's my son's 1st birthday tomorrow so my labour has been very much in my head today - that's so true about the calmness! I hadn't even realised until you said it, but when my contractions started I wasn't in the least bit worried, just so in the moment, even when they were ages apart. Thank you for sharing that!

WavesAndLeaves · 28/07/2021 21:17

Also - yes to the giant pants. I haven't gone back

(although my episiotomy scar means that anything that isn't giant pants is still uncomfortable. Grr)

Snowbind · 28/07/2021 21:18

Having a new baby to look after (and no normal work/life to go to etc) can be terrifying.

Hang on in there, you’ll get through it and your tiny newborn will become the most amazing little person.

Horehound · 28/07/2021 21:22

Yes you might feel like "what have I done?" At times. It's a huge change and responsibility.

Also you will likely get the Baby Blues which kicks in for a day or two on day 4ish after you give birth.

PolkadotSkies · 28/07/2021 21:24

@Provencerose omg yes the afterpains: almost non-existent the firsr time but get worse every time! No warning about that whatsoever from midwives. And yeah, you get them even if you have a section. 😣

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