Getting pregnant with severe emetophobia

[Sasha222]

Hi everyone,

I posted on here last year regarding how to cope with getting pregnant whilst being a long sufferer (25 years) of emetophobia.

I'm yet to even attempt to conceive still and the emotional turmoil of the emetophobia surrounding pregnancy is becoming more distressing by the day. I am so desperate for a baby but I am so terrified of vomiting that I just can't see a way past this. I'm beginning to think I have to re assess my situation and just give up the thought that I can ever get pregnant.

I am currently in therapy (cbt and exposure) and whilst I understand the mechanisms and how this therapy should work - I am still worrying that I'm not making much progress. I'm terrified to completely push myself and succumb to the exposure tasks which I know is hindering my recovery but I am just finding it extremely tough.

Can anybody please help or offer me any advice? I really am getting to a stage where I feel like I can't do this but I am clinging on to any remainder of hope!

Thank you

I can't just read and run - I do feel very sorry for your predicament. Unfortunately, pregnancy and vomiting are things which for most women are linked together. Hyperemesis is often the norm in early pregnancy, and during labour it's quite common for women to vomit as well. It isn't something which can be easily treated - I wish this was different !

If you're having trouble even facing the exposure tasks during your treatment for this condition, it's hard to imagine that you'd be able to face even the prospect of getting pregnant. You might have to think about alternative ways of becoming a parent - adoption or surrogacy perhaps .

I wish you luck , it's a hard one unfortunately.

I used to have a phobia of vomiting and then I suffered 3 months of hyperemesis and now even though I still dislike throwing up, I don't freak out so much when I feel it going to happen. But for me I wanted a baby far more than I was afraid of vomiting. You could also be really lucky and never feel sick a day in your pregnancy.

What do you think will happen if you vomit? I'm asking in all seriousness, because our anxieties lie to us. Your anxiety and phocia are lying to you, making you believe something horrific will happen if you vomit, which is completely, 100% not true.

If you want a baby you will have to do the exposure tasks. This is a battle you can win, but you have to join the fight.

*phobia

I have emetophobia and have just had my second baby.

Although I felt nauseous in both pregnancies I wasn't sick once and I wasn't sick during labour either. So although there is a risk that you might be sick that won't necessarily be the case.

There are medications the doctor can prescribe both during pregnancy and labour that stop you feeling sick or being sick and there were lots of techniques I used to lessen the feelings of nausea in the early weeks.

Who knows you might even be in the lucky group of women who experience no nausea or sickness at all, that is also a distinct possibility.

I was very, very nervous getting pregnant but for me the experience wasn't as bad as I had expected. The nausea was manageable.

Good luck

I have severe emetophobia as is a fellow mum friend. I was not sick at all in pregnancy nor in labour, I haven’t known anyone who was sick in labour. I did have nausea throughout the first and second trimester but I found constant snacking kept that at bay and removed any smells that triggered nausea (smell triggers disappeared quite quickly for me).

Please don’t listen to people who try to scare you, Hyperemesis for example is rare and not at all common. You are doing far better than me as I have not attempted cbt or anything to help with it. DS knows I can’t deal with sick but thankfully has only had two sickness episodes since leaving babyhood(baby sick didn’t trigger by emetophobia).

I’m really sorry you have this phobia, must be really difficult.

I don’t have any advice really, other than I am someone who have very severe nausea and gets sick a lot due to motion or just being grossed out. In pregnancy I never got sick once! I am considering getting pregnant again just so I don’t get car sick!

Being pregnant doesn’t mean you’ll be sick.

Good luck xx

I've had two pregnancies and haven't been sick in either of them.

I used to have very bad emetophohia and to a certain extent I still do. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and haven't been sick once. I've been pregnant before and also wasn't sick the whole time.

I really do feel for you because I know how hard it is and I also know people find it hard to really understand how awful it can be to be emetophobic

I'm halfway through my second pregnancy and haven't vomited at all in either of them. The only time I've been sick since having my first child is when he picked up a nasty bug shortly after starting nursery and passed it on, but to be honest I was more worried about looking after him than me and didn't really have time to think about it.

I'm nowhere near as bad as you,OP, but I absolutely loathe and detest getting sick. In normal life, I cry every time I actually vomit and I'd rather spend all night lying in bed, fighting and controlling nausea, for exame, rather than vomit, get it out of your system and get on with it, as most people seem to favour. The 'better out than in' school of thought is completely disagreed with by me.

Anyway, I was sick practically every morning for 18 weeks with DS! I compartmentalised it as pregnancy sickness and not normal vomiting and was actually able to get up, get sick straight away and then get on with my day. Some mornings I could eat breakfast within 10 minutes of being sick and I'd be fine. I categorised it as morning sickness triggered by motion, which was completely different from being sick. And I took comfort in the old wives' tales of mothers being sick every day meant strong, healthy babies.

I went back to how I was after pregnancy!

I’m not sure whether you want me to chime in with my experience or not because it’s not entirely positive. I had morning sickness (very mild, sick a few times when getting up too quick/taking vitamins on empty stomach, travel sickness etc). I was however vomiting violently both times in labour and was told that’s relatively common in labour as it progresses. I am yet to speak to someone else it happened to though.

I do have a friend with this phobia and it entirely consumes her every day life… her children are in secondary education now and she’s been stressed throughout, constantly listening out for anyone saying a child was sick in proximity with her children etc.
Children do share these things in my experience - if someone has vomited in my daughter’s class I am the first to hear about it!
My friend truly, truly struggles with this FAR more than she’d like to admit. I don’t want to scare you but I’m being honest here - it’s not just about pregnancy, young children bring home all sorts of bugs from school and even when it doesn’t end up in vomit, they very often complain of stomach aches to get out of doing things they don’t want to do. Some are also sick from eating too much, food poisoning and even from high temperatures.
Could you cope with all of the above?
I’d love to be more positive but I am also realistic. Having kids with this phobia has been incredibly difficult on my friend and I’d hate for you to go through the same.

This must be very difficult. But it's not a given...not everyone is sick! I've been through several pregnancies and births without a single vomit

Not sure if this will help but I wasn’t sick once with DS but had severe HG with DD. I guess the issue is you wouldn’t know until you were pregnant, it’s really flip of the coin

Hyperemesis is often the norm in early pregnancy

It's not the norm at all! Have a look at the stats. People that have HG are around 2% of women

I had it and was never sick in pregnancy or Labour. Never get sick bugs. My fear has subsided a lot since being a teenager and it was exposure that helped, but that didn’t happen in pregnancy. I felt a bit sick sometimes but was miles away from being sick. Some people are sick a lot more easily than others. My desire to have children completely eclipsed my fears, don’t let this stop you living.

Not everyone feels sick at all and for many it's more a feeling of nausea and no actual sickness.

Op, I wasn't sick once during my pregnancies, and I never felt nauseous. None of my friends suffered with morning sickness, either. One went off food and hated strong smells, but that's it. It is not as common as you think. But I know that won't help when you have a phobia. It will be in your mind the whole time.

Could you speak to your GP? Would they offer you an antiemetic as a precaution? As a sort of placebo? Would that settle your fear a little, if they could?

Also, can I ask, is your emetophobia just about you being sick? If your baby threw up, could you handle it?

I was only sick a couple of times in pregnancy. And many people aren’t sick at all.

I have emetaphobia also. I'm coming up to 12 weeks now and haven't been sick once. I found it useful to look at the numbers - roughly two thirds of women get morning sickness and only half of those have vomiting. I unfortunately wasn't lucky enough to be the one third that don't get morning sickness at all as I did feel pretty sick at times, but it was bearable. Friends of mine haven't felt remotely sick during pregnancy however, so hopefully that'll be you.

There're things you can do as well, like I did acupuncture for morning sickness. There's medicine you can take also if you speak to your GP.

Only 2% of people get HG

I’m 18 weeks with no sickness at all, I haven’t thrown up once. I’ve had touches of nausea if I don’t eat on time but it’s avoidable.

But you probably can’t rely on that, so I think you’re doing everything you can

Not everyone is sick, I felt horribly nauseous at times in my first trimester, but never actually threw up. That was the same for a few people I know. You could always request a c-section to minimise your chances of vomiting when you have the baby?

I think people with emetophobia are less likely to throw up anyway. I wasn't sick at all when pregnant or in labour. I don't have emetophobia but hadn't thrown up for illness reasons since I was a child. I did feel nauseous for some of the first trimester but was never sick or close to it. My body doesn't really do sick - it comes out the other end instead if I'm ever unwell.

@Elune

I think people with emetophobia are less likely to throw up anyway. I wasn't sick at all when pregnant or in labour. I don't have emetophobia but hadn't thrown up for illness reasons since I was a child. I did feel nauseous for some of the first trimester but was never sick or close to it. My body doesn't really do sick - it comes out the other end instead if I'm ever unwell.

I read a doctor saying this also. Apparently people with emetaphobia are so used to controlling it and are sick so rarely, they don't always get so sick to the same degree others might with morning sickness

Completely understand your concern, OP, I’m horribly emetophobic and was really worried about how I’d handle being pregnant. When I discovered that I was pregnant with twins, I was warned that I could experience some pretty bad morning sickness…but nothing happened. A bit of mild nausea at the very end of the first trimester and that was it! Agree with PP that being emetophobic probably makes you less likely to actually be sick anyway. Good luck!