Not sure if this belongs in AIBU...

[hinchi123]

Long story short I am 13 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I didn't tell my husband until after I had been to the 12 week scan.

Hubby is fuming, he is happy about the baby but he says he doesn't know if he can trust me any more(!)

I know some people might think it's mad but I am superstitious and you're not supposed to tell anyone are you?

He has slept on the couch since I told him and has been really off with me. I've not had a kiss or anything. Am I in the wrong?

I can’t see how what you’ve done could ever be reasonable. No wonder your dh is upset.

This must be a wind up. Completely ridiculous. Have you never spoken to anyone else who is having a baby? Surely you realised that “not telling people before 12 weeks” doesn’t include the father? Sorry but I can’t believe anyone would be that naive.

Come on. As if!

I'd struggle to trust you again too if you've managed to hide something as important as that for 12 weeks. He should've been there at the first scan with you and you've gone and done it behind his back..

You've got to be kidding? Wtf! Why would you do that?

Your whole first trimester is over and he's missed it. I would feel so hurt.

That’s bloody sad!
That poor man, it’s his baby too!!
Also the “don’t tell anyone until 12 weeks” thing is shit….the more people you tell, the more can support you if the worst happens.
You are 100% in the wrong!! 100%.

You are definitely in the wrong. You need to apologise profusely. This is totally bizarre that you'd do this. I'd be absolutely raging.

This is awful! I'm sorry but I'm surprised your husband Is only sleeping on the couch and not after packing his bags.

This can't be real surely?

It sounds like there’s more to this. Did you choose not to tell him because you were thinking you might have an abortion and didn’t want him to want to keep it and put pressure on you? Is your relationship not in a good place and so you wanted time to weigh up your options? These are the kinds of things I’d be wondering if I was your husband - what’s the reason behind the secrecy? And how were you able to keep it from him for so long? I’m not surprised he feels he can’t trust you.

School's out

If this is even real... you are completely and utterly in the wrong and you robbed him of him seeing his baby at the 12 week scan. How could you?

Blimey

You did really?

Of course he wouldn't trust you. You've just hide a HUGE life changing, beautiful experience from your husband and taken that away from him.
If you managed to keep that secret I'd be wondering what else you were/could hide as well

Madness

Are you worried it's not his baby?

Yes - I can't believe you didn't tell him. My partner used to be miffed when I did the tests on my own - we tried for so long I hated the expectation.

There is no way I couldn't tell him and have a scan?

With our first I had to wait until 9pm as we had his mum staying and needed to wait till she was in bed and that felt like a lifetime.

Wasn't he suspicious? Were you hiding your vits?

Wow that's disgusting!!! I'm not surprised he's on the couch I'd be out the door.

You’re lucky your marriage isn’t over: yes, you are completely and utterly in the wrong.

You should book a private scan as an apology so he can see the baby and properly apologise to him. My husband would quite rightly be furious.

I can’t believe this is genuine. Not even for a second.

Ok.

Were you very anxious about getting pregnant? I can understand being scared to tempt fate if you were worried about it.

Your husband is the person you should be able to share your worries and fears with ~ if anything had gone wrong he would hopefully be your main support. Do you share other problems with each other?