I'm pregnant, help

[Faye99x]

I have just found out that I am pregnant. I did a clear blue so roughly 4 weeks pregnant. This is not planned at all and not the right time.
I don't have periods and haven't done for 3 and a half years abs always thought I wasn't able to have children unless I went down the IVF route. But I'm just not ready and I haven't told my partner yet.

Take a nice deep breath.... you might have yourself a little miracle baby if you were told you couldn't have children without IVF.

However this is your choice but you can make this work. Xx

Is there a reason why you thought you couldn't have children unless through IVF?

You have options so whatever you choose is ok

I am in the same position. Found out I’m pregnant last week and not the right time at all. Didn’t tell DH for a few days and still not sure what we are doing...

Do you want to talk about why you think it’s the wrong time? I’m happy to share my reasons if that helps.

@Houserenoqueen

I am in the same position. Found out I’m pregnant last week and not the right time at all. Didn’t tell DH for a few days and still not sure what we are doing...

Do you want to talk about why you think it’s the wrong time? I’m happy to share my reasons if that helps.

Thank you for your reply. What do you mean by DH?

Is there a way to private chat on here?

@Horehound

Is there a reason why you thought you couldn't have children unless through IVF?

You have options so whatever you choose is ok

Because of medical conditions I have been told I am most likely to miscarry or have a still born if I carry naturally

@wingingit987

Take a nice deep breath.... you might have yourself a little miracle baby if you were told you couldn't have children without IVF.

However this is your choice but you can make this work. Xx

Thank you. I am just not sure what to do. I am worrying lots.

@Faye99x DH means Dear Husband

It's entirely your choice about what to do, have you spoken to any health care professionals about the test?

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs

It's entirely your choice about what to do, have you spoken to any health care professionals about the test?

No not yet I have only just found out that I am pregnant like a week ago. But I am just struggling.

Sorry....mumsnet speak for husband!
Let me try to send you a message...

It sounds like it's worth discussing with a medical professional the conditions that you have before making any decisions.

I wasn't aware of ivf taking away any risks of stillbirth - in fact it is slightly the opposite, but that may be down to general maternal age of ivf patients - happy to be corrected, but I've spent months and months, years, really, researching ivf while going through infertility.

So it's worth you getting a better understanding of your condition to understand if ivf would a) help you and b) be an option at some point in the future.

And most gps know very very very little about infertility and women's health in general, so I'd be seeking out a specialist privately.

Do you not want a baby yet or are you worried because of your medical conditions that something may happen?

You’ve just found out, you’re allowed to be in shock it’s ok!

@physicskate there are some conditions that IVF can help e.g. with genetic issues such as balanced translocations because they can test the embroyos before implanting them to check they don't have the defect.

OP - first things first is to talk to a GP about your specific condition and what the chances of a successful pregnancy. Secondly you need to think about your relationship and the stregnth of it. is your partner likely to support you or do they not want children. Look at your finances and consider if you can do this with or without him. Then you need to have some time to yourself to think if you want this child or not. it may be the wrong time but its never really the right time. its whether you want this really.

[quote Bells3032]@physicskate there are some conditions that IVF can help e.g. with genetic issues such as balanced translocations because they can test the embroyos before implanting them to check they don't have the defect.

OP - first things first is to talk to a GP about your specific condition and what the chances of a successful pregnancy. Secondly you need to think about your relationship and the stregnth of it. is your partner likely to support you or do they not want children. Look at your finances and consider if you can do this with or without him. Then you need to have some time to yourself to think if you want this child or not. it may be the wrong time but its never really the right time. its whether you want this really.[/quote]
You are completely correct with what you just explained. That's okay hey I would need the ivf for a live healthy baby. There is low chance of me carrying.
I have miscarried one already.

I am only in my early 20s and just bought a house with my partner. We do want children one day (more so he does than I) just not so soon as we have only just moved house and that's costly. I am just I guess yeah in shock and worried. I don't know how to tell him.

@Faye99x we discovered a month ago I was pregnant naturally after being told we'd likely never conceive naturally due to my husband's previous cancer. We were in the right place for a child and were in the process for IVF so this was a much much wanted baby. We both still walked around like zombies for a week with the shock. it's ok to be in shock and take your time to let it settle in

It’s ok not to go through with the pregnancy if you don’t want to. You can phone BPAS for advice and to talk.

@FayeFayeFayeFayeFaye

Do you not want a baby yet or are you worried because of your medical conditions that something may happen?

You’ve just found out, you’re allowed to be in shock it’s ok!

Both really, I do not want a baby yet. I am not ready for it and I am worried of my medical Conditions x

[quote Bells3032]@Faye99x we discovered a month ago I was pregnant naturally after being told we'd likely never conceive naturally due to my husband's previous cancer. We were in the right place for a child and were in the process for IVF so this was a much much wanted baby. We both still walked around like zombies for a week with the shock. it's ok to be in shock and take your time to let it settle in[/quote]
Congrats!! And thank you xxx

The default on MN is to have the baby - pretty much no matter what.

I would have a termination as soon as possible if it was me.

It's ok to have an abortion if you're really not ready. How do you feel about that option?

I hope you can confide in your partner about all this and have him support you no matter your choice. It's your body, your decision. Best of luck x

I also just want to add that I am not thinking of an abortion I would t want to do that but I don't know what to do.

@Hobbitch

It's ok to have an abortion if you're really not ready. How do you feel about that option?

I hope you can confide in your partner about all this and have him support you no matter your choice. It's your body, your decision. Best of luck x

My partner is amazing. I just don't know how to tell him.

@Bells3032 - of course one needs to go through ivf in order to pgs/pgt test embryos. However, ivf on its own won't prevent most stillbirths... and most young women who are told they may need ivf/ are infertile/ etc... etc... aren't told this. They also aren't told there is very limited testing available to couples via the nhs. And that is only after there is an established genetic condition like cystic fibrosis within the couple.

Most karyotyping/ genetic testing isn't done on a indicate this type of testing might be necessary until the couple are several rounds in to ivf.

Ivf is used primarily to treat infertility, not genetic conditions.

My point is and was: if you were told you'd need ivf to prevent stillbirth by a gp and not a specialist consultant, I'd want a second opinion. If I had a tenner for the number of women who find themselves on Mumsnet with an unexpected pregnancy after being told it wasn't possible by a gp, I'd be a moderately rich woman...

Sorry to derail the thread - just wanted to clarify.

If you're not thinking of a termination. And don't want to have a baby. Does that leave you with adoption, if the pregnancy materialises in to a healthy born baby.
I'm not sure what the other options are.

I know it's really scary and a shock. I had my first in my early twenties. It wasn't planned but six years on it is ok. It wasn't a disaster and it didn't stop me doing things I wanted to do. My life was turned upside down but we've had some brilliant times and she is adored. It often never feels like 'the right time'. But it sounds like you're in a stable situation and might not get this chance again. I hope you have some support IRL.

[quote physicskate]@Bells3032 - of course one needs to go through ivf in order to pgs/pgt test embryos. However, ivf on its own won't prevent most stillbirths... and most young women who are told they may need ivf/ are infertile/ etc... etc... aren't told this. They also aren't told there is very limited testing available to couples via the nhs. And that is only after there is an established genetic condition like cystic fibrosis within the couple.

Most karyotyping/ genetic testing isn't done on a indicate this type of testing might be necessary until the couple are several rounds in to ivf.

Ivf is used primarily to treat infertility, not genetic conditions.

My point is and was: if you were told you'd need ivf to prevent stillbirth by a gp and not a specialist consultant, I'd want a second opinion. If I had a tenner for the number of women who find themselves on Mumsnet with an unexpected pregnancy after being told it wasn't possible by a gp, I'd be a moderately rich woman...

Sorry to derail the thread - just wanted to clarify. [/quote]
Just to clarify I was told this my my specialist. It's highly unlikely that I shall carry my pregnancy through ect. So it's just a little worrying. X