How can I explain the crippling tiredness of early pregnancy to DH?

[isaidhohoho]

I'm nearly 9 weeks. I fall asleep at 1 pm for at least an hour, and I'm struggling to stay awake by 9.30 pm.

This is pregnancy number 3 - DH knows it makes me tired, but I think it might help if I could explain the absolute knackeredness better!

narcolepsy!!!!

I don't think there is a way. Perhaps compare it with trying to stay awake at 3 in the morning without the help of beer or anything stimulating?

remember it well - poor you

we had a lot of shouting and crying in our house to try and get him to understand...

Ha ha ha. Impossible. My dh says things like 'oh well my sister didn't have morning sickness', 'oh well my sister didn't get tired' think he's just about learned on the second pregnancy that comments like that do not a happy marriage make.

He gets tired at night because his body needs to regenerate & recuperate. Your body is GROWING ANOTHER PERSON INSIDE IT!

you wake up and feel like you could go back to sleep for a week!

for an example, i am a doctor. i'm known for being v energetic. i have regularly worked 27 hours on calls, with only 10 mins sleep, and i found early pregnancy more tiring than that. (seriously!)

I feel like nodding off again..

I love Ruty's message as it is soooo true. My dh has said things like that a few times and after the second black eye he learned to shut up! (Only kidding - I didn't hit him THAT hard!)

Tell him to go run a marathon and then come home to cook a meal for 6 and do a full day at work and then he might understand how tiring growing a baby can be.

Urgh it is awful, isn't it?

I used to fall asleep on my desk at work and be really really asleep.

Tell me about it. Am pregnant, still breastfeeding DD1 and DH said this morning, well just lie down and have a nap while she's feeding (she feeds for about five minutes and then jumps on my head!)

I keep having to go to bed whenever DD goes to bed, I thought I had flu though so I'm quite relieved I'm pregnant instead!

I don't think they can ever understand it, but you can give men specific tasks quite effectively. 'Take the kids out for three hours to the shops/zoo/anywhere' is normally quite effective. Then just crash out.

my dh has said during this pregnancy though 'oh well millions of women have had babies through the ages and they just have to get on with it' thanks for that pearl of wisdom darling.

men are sooo understanding aren't they Ruty?

he has his good points, honestly, just didn't realise quite how much of an empathy bypass he'd had till i got pregnant...

Can he perhaps understand that people's bodies are totally different and react to the same event very differently?

Why does one woman give birth naturally with no pain relief and the next woman has an emergency c section???

There is no explanation and it is the same with tiredness - some women feel amazing during pregnancy and full of life and some are literally in a heap on the floor sick and tired. I am pg and feel like I am about 120 years old!!!! My body has disintegrated and I am totally broken (I was very fit and healthy beforehand!).

It is nothing to do with being "hard" either - it is to do with the body's physiological response to hormones.

Millions of men have had pregnant wives through the ages and they've all had black eyes, too...

might try that.

I heard somewhere that a pg woman's body is working as hard when sitting on a sofa as anyone else's when they're climbing a steep hill. Dunno if its true but it helps with dh. I just collapse on the sofa and mutter "climbing mountains" and go to sleep.

Trouble is I'm 31 weeks now and its not getting any better!

You are tired cos you're already looking after 3 children - 2 born and 1 unborn. Try telling that to him?

My mother-in-law had six children and DH said 'my mum kept on going'. I just ignored him and slept. I don't think men understand. Its took him a good few months to understand how tired i get and now he says that he envies me being able to sleep.

Tell him: "In the first few weeks of pregnancy your body is growing the field in which the seed will grow!"

The placenta is a whole new organ that you are having to grow from scratch first off in order to nurture the growing baby. Early pregnancy demanding on you physically in many different ways, and emotionally it's probably the worst stage too. And this is your third? Christ, no wonder you're knackered. Tell him to shut it and make you a cup of tea!

Set his alarm to go off every 2 hours for a few nights? Some men just can't empathise at all. You need to make them physically feel what you are feeling.

My cousin is 12 weeks and before she knew she was pregnant (not planned) she thought that she had carbon monoxide poisoning - she felt so tired

my dh (was nearly ex for a while) said (in the heat of the moment) that I was "weak an lazy" when I was pg with dd2. The resentment and hurt caused us problems for years, and as you can see - I still haven't forgotten it.

sorry 'and' he was mean but he did pronouce his words propery

I just explained it to my DH that it's like having to function as normal without having had any sleep for 36 hours.

To be fair, he's been pretty good about it