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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How can I explain the crippling tiredness of early pregnancy to DH?

49 replies

isaidhohoho · 24/11/2007 15:48

I'm nearly 9 weeks. I fall asleep at 1 pm for at least an hour, and I'm struggling to stay awake by 9.30 pm.

This is pregnancy number 3 - DH knows it makes me tired, but I think it might help if I could explain the absolute knackeredness better!

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Original poster

isaidhohoho · 25/11/2007 10:11

DH admitted last night he didn't understand because he'd never had to grow a person.
And then he tucked me in at 9.15pm.

OP posts:

slim22 · 25/11/2007 12:07

Next weekend spike his scrambled eggs with a sleeping pill and send him off to his football practice/tennis/morning jog..........and make sure you have a family lunch at his/your mothers lined up + afternoon activity with kids........

daisynova · 26/11/2007 10:11

Hellish - that would have been the divorce courts for us!!!

My dh said a few days ago that he couldn't understand why I wasn't cooking all the meals, cleaning the house, washing & ironing all his shirts and going to work whilst pregnant. I literally kicked him out of bed and didn't speak to him for 2 days. He says it was a joke but I didn't find it too funny.

BettySpaghetti · 26/11/2007 10:17

Ask you DHs/DPs to think back to the last time they had (man)flu and to remember what it was like trying to lift one leg or to get out of bed. That feeling of heaviness, that inability to move to do anything....

DaisyMoo · 26/11/2007 10:19

I'd start spiking his drinks with sleeping tablets on a regular basis and still expect him to do a full day's work!

Domesticgodless · 26/11/2007 10:20

The poisoning thing is really apt. I could only explain to everyone the way I felt (was sick 24/7 as well as headachey and exhausted) by telling people that if I didn't know I was pregnant I would have been convinced I was actually dying...

claireybraxtonhicks · 26/11/2007 17:14

Um don't know really. My dh thinks I am "weak" since I was first pregnant with dd. Never mind that I had chronic sickness and was throwing up every half an hour day and night so was surviving on no food and no sleep as well as growing a whole new person. When I pointed that out to him he seemed to think that it proved his point as most women don't get that sick so therefore I must be weaker than most.

This time I haven't been nearly as sick but have been looking after a toddler as well so am still knackered and not doing as much housework etc as usual. He finally seemed to get the message 3 weeks or so ago (at 35 weeks pregnant) when my mum had a go at me in front of him for doing too much-was the first time it seemed to sink in that it's not just me being weak but pregnancy in general!

mummymagic · 27/11/2007 14:16

OK, I have a fab dh I think.
I am only 7 weeks but completely exhausted - completely forgot what it was like. I have a 19mth old (who is watching far too much cbeebies at the moment). Was sick til 4 mths too - and have just started with the constant nausea...

But dh just says, sleep and put telly on and stop trying to do too much. He says he will just have to be looking after all of us and the house for a while when he gets back from work . Feel guilty (and weak) but tbh there is not much I can do. It's taking every effort to keep me and dd fed and comfortable.

kekouan · 27/11/2007 15:30

I always said that when I woke up in the morning it just felt like I hadn't even been to bed yet!

Bluestocking · 27/11/2007 15:35

I remember one summer day pre-pregnancy, I went for a long walk in the morning, spent all afternoon digging the veg patch, then went on a long ride on horseback in the evening. I was tired that evening .... but not a patch on the narcoleptic must sleep now tired of early pregnancy.

lemonaid · 27/11/2007 15:46

Millions of men have been kicked extremely hard in the testicles over the ages and they've all had to get on with it...

Bidi · 15/01/2008 22:22

Make them read these posts. Then they will realise that it is not just one of us- we ALL feel like this. We went to a dinner party last night and i threatened to leave him there if he played up (just one more drink...etc). He did - so I did! Had best sleep in big bed ALL alone!

ferhal · 26/11/2009 07:11

Completely agree. I am a doctor, too. Being pregnant feels like 24hrs shifts without a day off.

fififolle · 26/11/2009 07:42

They don't understand. They're used to you being the one with all the energy and feel slightly lost when you need to go to bed ad 8.30pm. I think that in the early stages they find it hard to believe as you still look the same, I found that sympathy levels returned (with my energy levels!) just after the 12 week scan when he could see that there was actually a baby growing in there. Now I just get frequent risk assessments/health and safety warnings ie you shouldn't lift that/do that/eat that/prod your tummy - you'll squash the baby!

MissMarjoribanks · 26/11/2009 16:26

I have never felt anything like it and I don't think someone could truly understand it unless they had experienced it themselves.

The penny dropped for my DH when I suddenly decided I wanted a TV in the bedroom, merely so I wouldn't have to expend the effort of going downstairs. He had been nagging me for one for ages and I had been resisting, mainly as I thought I would end up having to put up with Question Time/Newsnight while I was trying to read in bed.

A TV was purchased the following day. I have a feeling he wanted to act quickly before I hit the 2nd trimester and changed my mind.

mollybob · 26/11/2009 18:10

I described normal tiredness as like a radiator being switched off - gradually the power goes but it still functions albeit less and less efficiently with time. Pregnancy tiredness is like switching off an electric light - the power has just disappeared in an instant.

Or else explain that if ever wants to have sex again then he needs to develop some empathy bloody quickly

Actually my DH is brill - clueless about how it really is but tries to be understanding and doesn't mind the constant running up and down with drinks for me.

LifeOfKate · 27/11/2009 12:15

I have likened it to jetlag, which DH suffered badly with when we went to New Zealand a few years ago, he seems to understand then

skihorse · 27/11/2009 12:50

What needs to be explained? I'm asleep & drooling on the sofa by 9pm every night. He then slopes off to prepare the bedroom for me, get me some water on my night stand and a hot water bottle. He'll then help me to bed.

whensmydayoff · 27/11/2009 16:39

Kick him really really hard in the bollocks and then tell him "millions of men have to go through that darling, you'll just have to get on with it"!

Sorry, 34+ weeks PG with a 2 and a half yr old, painful hips, can't get the baby to move out of back to back position and generally feeling very knackered. Ruty's DH should be glad he's not married to me!!

LouLouH · 27/11/2009 16:57

You ladies have made me feel so much better. I am sitting here at work trying my damn hardest not to fall asleep on the desk. I felt no tiredness at all with DD1 and this time round i could fall asleep after 10 minutes of waking up in the morning. I love the "climbing mountains" definitely going to try that one! Admitedly my DP is good now although it has taken quite a few hormone induced temper tantrums to get the point across!

MummyTumble · 28/11/2009 07:43

I think it feels like flu...when you just want to stay in bed and sleep and sleep. I told dh it wouldn't matter how many hours sleep i got as i still feel shattered.I'm 20 weeks nowand still waiting for my energy boost. Also have the knackered hips and 2 kids to look after...Can't wait for the next one to arrive though

whensmydayoff you must have the best name on here

wibblela · 28/11/2009 11:47

I have just read this and am shocked by how much non-empathy or how bull-headed some men are! Their lack of understanding is unbelieveable!

Just thought that when they say that their Mum's carried on regardless was the MC and Infant mortality rates higher? I am still trying to understand how they managed to, or maybe they didn't and the kids didn't see their mums flaking out when they were in bed!

I am so blessed that my DH is very understanding. I had Multiple Sclerosis for years before I got pg. DH had worked 3 shift and understood completely about fatigue. He accepted it and helped me to work with it before I had got my head around it! Therefore when I feel pg, he has been better than me about making sure I don't do too much! His comment just now is that everyone should have an easy life and so doesn't want us to struggle

Morloth · 28/11/2009 15:28

Get him to drink 2 bottles of wine too himself. Make him stay up until 2am. Wake him for the day at 7am, get him to spin around counterclockwise at least 15 times.

THEN tell him to fucking imagine feeling like that 24/7 for weeks.

sfxmum · 28/11/2009 15:37

I am the sort of person who functions fine with 5-6 hrs sleep, we are talking full time long hrs job plus gym etc (pre child)
however when I was pregnant I remember falling asleep at the drop of a hat, memorably once waking up when my head hit my desk at about 10am

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