Miscarriage: waiting to miscarry naturally

[jm54]

I have been bleeding (very lightly) for 3 weeks now, been diagnosed with blighted ovum. Decided to let nature take its course, but 3 weeks on, am beginning to wonder how long this could take. A second scan today showed that the sac is still intact. I'm told that most women miscarry within a month ... anyone got any experience of this?

Hope someone comes along soon with some advice.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I haven't experienced this (though I've had two early miscarriages). It can take up to six weeks though apparently. Have you considered having a D&C if things aren't moving along?

i'm dealing with the same thing, jm, although i haven't even started bleeding yet and was 8 weeks into it.

just bumping this for you!

hang in there.

Thanks all. Was 11 weeks when this was discovered, 3 weeks ago. For some reason I don't want intervention (and this from the woman who had an elective section with her first baby - go figure!). Just hope it won't be too much longer. Thanks again for the swift support, it really does help. And right back at you, expatinscotland - hang in there.

Hey, if you don't want intervention then by all means don't have it!

Just hoping you start expelling it soon and it all goes smoothly.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I've not decided what I want, but I can understand not wanting intervention.

Just tried to make a post but not sure what happened to it, am being a bit thick/tired...just been through similar. Will post more if this one works.

Ah okay so previous post didn't work. Trying again...firstly commiserations its a fairly miserable experience in my view.
I started bleeding (very light) at 11 weeks, really wanted no intervention, the thought of surgery/D&C or a "scrape" - what a term to put you off- really made me cringe. Decided to try and let nature take its course. After 3 weeks of light bleeding and various scans decided to go for an intervention. Had medical management i.e. drug treatment the weekend before last. I was very keen not to intervene but the scans showed a slow breakdown/reabsorption of the fetuses (it was twins) but that the sac was still sitting there, not moving and was quite big. Felt the need to try and move on and put it behind me as well.
Not sure how helpful this is...

sorry more slightly random thoughts. Was just pondering why I was very opposed to intervention and then decided to take some action, was probably to do with wanting to hang on to being pregnant and the babies I was having, then maybe getting used to the idea that it wasn't going to happen and wanting to move on, as I said above, about feeling the need to put it behind me a bit. But was also very much reminded in the whole decision-making process bit of making birth plans and having to make decisions about things that I wanted advice and input from the professionals on but also knew what I wanted for me and my body. So hope you find the right way of dealing with this for you.
I also found the miscarriage association website of some help in terms of facts.

I wanted to say how sorry I am - I had a natural m/c and am not sure it is preferable to medical management

ah yes, good point, hadn't thought that one through. I was in a controlled environment, nurses attending etc etc when it all came out as opposed to being out and about on my lonesome, which I imagine could be fairly traumatic.

Firstly jm54 and expat sorry to hear of your current difficulties.

I agree with kd73.

I had a "missed" miscarriage discovered around 12 weeks. (I think that is the correct term, normally they would have expected it to have expelled naturally 4 weeks before.)

When it was discovered, I had been having light bleeding/spotting on and off for weeks. A d&c was arranged and I was offered the option to stay in and wait (which could have been many hours wait) or go home and be booked in a day or so later.

I won't go into a lot of detail as I don't want to upset anyone and even almost 8 years on it is still distressing. Basically I had very severe pains during the night (like labour pains) and was taken in to hospital via 999 ambulance. I needed pethidine for the pain and even after more bleeding it wasn't completely over and I needed a d&c after all of that anyway.

The d&c itself was straightforward and I felt a sense of relief that it was all over (physically all over rather than emotionally of course)

Indeed kd73, I'm a bit scared about the realities of going down the natural route ... Like you , rsmummy, I am getting to a point where I think I've got my head around my loss, and now want to put this sad time behind me. But for some reason, I would rather it happened naturally, even though by all accounts that will be the least pleasant option.

Sorry to both of you for your losses, and thanks for taking the time to post.

Just read your post, onepieceoflollipop. The possibility of waiting it out and then still needing a d&c is something I need to consider, hadn't thought of that before. Thanks for sharing your experience, sounds like you had an awful time.

Lollipop - how awful

It sounds like we had a similar story upto the bit where I decided to stay in hospital and wait - stupid me hadn't realised I was actually losing the baby and that the nurses just were eager to look after me! Every time I asked for a little more pain relief I had to check that it wouldn't harm little bean.

I am just so glad I was in hospital so that when things got graphic (which they did), someone came and took over!

Sorry it seems I hijacked thread but hope it helps JM54.

jm54 and kd73 thanks for your kind words.
tbh I felt better once things were "under control" in the hospital.

kd73 hope you had some good support after your experiences.

It's very hard on a thread like this to be honest and try and help the op (and other ladies going through similar) without risking scaring people or being too graphic. And of course all our experiences are slightly different and different interventions suit different people.

x

It does help kd73- thank you - I think my head has been a little bit in the sand. It's horrible having this hanging over me, and I am scared at the prospect of the pain and the gore, for want of a better word (apologies if this sounds insensitive). It's like I'm in limbo at the moment, which must be tough for my partner as well as me as I know my moods are all over the place, and living life as normal just doesn't seem appropriate. I also have my son's first birthday in a couple of weeks and really want things behind me by then. I think I need to give this some more thought ...

I was "lucky" the hospital were wonderful - reassuring me throughout the day that I should keep hopeful but then if I got too hopeful they would gently ask me if the pain was too much - which would in itself remind me that I was in a delicate situation!

Afterwards, a bereavement nurse came to talk to us and we were informed of services including the miscarriage association and a church service for lost babies each month.

I have to say that the hospital were excellant and I can not thank them enough. They simply saved me that day.

sorry JM54 crossed post - whilst I don't want to sway your decision. I felt even with a natural m/c the hospital was the best place for me.

Good luck and I hope it all works out ok

I can see what you mean lollipop, but from my perspective, the more honesty the better - it helps inform the decision to be made, and also helps prepare me for what may lie ahead.

i had medical mangement with my mc and found it fine, but everyones different. i had that because i couldnt stand the thought of a d&c or waiting around for weeks for the baby to come out. it was more painful emotionally then physically but all finished after 24 hrs. sorry to everyone on here who has lost there babies x

I opted for a similar approach to you jm 54. I also had blighted ovum. Was given some pessaries to speed things up but was not successful. Therefore had to have D and C after a month to prevent infection. No pain. Medical staff were great.Had a second miscarriage and because I was flying in a couple of days a D and C was carried out straight away. Looking back , I would now go for a D and C so that I am not 'in limbo' and can start the recovery/grieving process.
Take care

Much sympathy. I don't know how long it could take to miscarry naturally.
I had a blighted ovum a few years ago, also diagnosed at 11 weeks.
Initially wanted to let nature take it's course, but after a few days decided it wasn't very practical as I was working full-time and didn't want to miscarry at work or take loads of time off, so opted for medical management with pessaries and drugs. Went home to miscarry with loads of painkillers. I found this OK, for me it wasn't too painful but I know it can be for some women. I preffered the relatively natural approach, and to be at home, but it's not for everyone. Went back for a scan a few days later to check the miscarriage was complete.
More sympathy, it really is a miserable experience.

Hope you're doing okay, jm.

I'm being scanned again on Monday to confirm the blighted ovum and will hopefully get a D&C as soon as they can possibly fit me in.

Am having a lot of cramping and pain - managed with paracetemol - but no bleeding.

Just want to draw a line under this and move on because of Christmas coming up, lots of guests coming through and DD2's 2nd birthday week after next.

have had a hell of a fracas, gomez. suffice it to say i'm making a formal complaint against Inverclyde Royal 'Hospital'.

i need an ERPC under local anaesthetic with sedation - a procedure i've actually had in the past, albeit in the US, for missed miscarriage, where is routinely performed in such a fashion - as i have malignant hyperthermia.

but apparently, in addition to not scanning my entire womb and reproductive organs and leaving me with a now purple-going-green-at-the-edges bruise over my uterus, the rude, dismissive, unprofessional and incompetent staff at this hospital have never heard of such a wonder as modern medicine.

they're probably still using a curette for the procedure as well.

anyhow, like jm54, a blighted ovum and would just like it out as soon as possible since i live over an hour and a half's drive from RAH and it's really not a good idea for me to start bleeding heavily out here.