Miscarriage: waiting to miscarry naturally

[jm54]

I have been bleeding (very lightly) for 3 weeks now, been diagnosed with blighted ovum. Decided to let nature take its course, but 3 weeks on, am beginning to wonder how long this could take. A second scan today showed that the sac is still intact. I'm told that most women miscarry within a month ... anyone got any experience of this?

Good luck Expat- will be thinking of you

JM54 have you had any more thoughts?

I mc naturally in August, I was sent away afte confirmation to decide but nature decided for mew a few days later. TBH I would have a D&C if it happened again. I had 3 days of severe bleeding think changing a towel every 10 minutes as it was soaked through, bleeding on sofa as I didn't make it to the loo on time (sorry if this is distressing but trying to be honest) when I was like this I was on the floor as I had no strength, I also had 2 toddlers to look after on one of the days (DP at work) and it was no joke. Given that I had other children to look after a D&C would have been easier for me.

i'm thinking hte same way, sweet. with two kids, i just can't see facing that, especially as dd1 is old enough to notice and ask questions.

It was really rough I even got blood on DD1's comfort toy and had to wash it she did notice (it was hard not to) and asked loads of questions, I hope she's forgotten about it.

And you too JM54.

Thanks to all for sharing your experiences, and for being so honest, sweetkitty. Sounds like you are having a rough trot, ex-pat; hope it goes well on Monday (whatever well is in these circumstances).

As for me kd73, I still wish nature would take its course, but am beginning to think about a D&C because it doesn't feel like anything is remotely iminent - I have no pain or cramping, and my bleeding has been nothing more than spotting for well over a week now. It just feels like my body could hang onto this forever. Maybe I would have to end up getting a D&C anyway, so might be best to take control and get it over and done with. And yet that somehow, in my messed up head, feels disloyal to the baby that I lost, albeit at the very early stages. Mental or what.

hmm, i see where you are coming from, jm.

but maybe, to think of it as more the idea of a baby, because what you and i have, it was never a baby.

what helped me, too, was that i'm pissed off at my body for hanging onto what's basically a growth. i feel about it the way i'd feel about a tumour - get it out of me now, please.

not saying this would help you, but this is how i have viewed it from the outset.

I think I'm beginning to think more and more like that, expat. Which gets me to something I'm still not clear about, despite having read quite a lot since blighted ovum was diagnosed ... Some things I read say blighted ovum was never a baby/foetus, others say it is one that stops developing very early - in my case they estimated around 3/4 weeks, which is only 1/2 weeks after conception. I would prefer the former explanation, that would certainly make the D&C decision easier. I guess I'm looking for black and white where there is only shades of grey.

Is there a difference between ERPC and D&C?

Some people use the term D&C and ERPC interchangeably, but the former is usually one used nowadays in combination with hysteroscopy to get a sample of uterine material in someone who's not pregnant, but having problems with abnormal bleeding or the like.

The ERPC does the same thing - a procedure to dilate teh cervix, but then a suction device is introduced into the uterus to, well, vacuum out the contents, in the same way a first-term abortion is performed.

I'm of the thinking this was never a fetus. It was a duff egg with something very wrong with it, and now it's in essence a growth in my body that is abnormal and needs removed.

Also, I'm still having lots of pregnancy symptoms and I really want that gone because it's not pleasant emotionally.

And you know, jm, after what we've been through, we really deserve to enjoy our family and the holidays.

Thanks for this expat. Hope your hospital serves you well and that you get this sorted asap.