14 Weeks Pregnant - Constantly Worried and Not ‘Feeling’ Pregnant…

[L56x]

Hi all,

I know its a late one - thanks to the daunting insomnia creeping in these last 2 nights (which i had regularly before finding out i was pregnant)

I am technically 14 weeks pregnant today and just feel under the weather about the certainty of being pregnant still…

I suffered a MC back in December 2019 and in all honesty I hit rock bottom pretty hard. I started up smoking again as I used it as a coping mechanism for stress (yes, I know thats bad 🙄 - dont come for me in the comments) and just couldn’t find myself again.

After practicing extremely safe sex to avoid disappointment again, I found out I was pregnant this April. And since then I have non stopped worried about whether this pregnancy will be successful.

At my ‘12 week dating scan’ (were i should of been 12+6) I was pushed back to 11+2. In all honesty I cant say whether this was completely accurate as the little one would not stay still and had to empty my bladder twice during the scan making it harder to take the measurements!

Now im ‘14 weeks’ today I just dont feel pregnant and im dredding the worst (partner is really laid back so if i mention any worries he gets annoyed and tells me to ‘stay positive’)

And to add - ive had early scans and all measurements were behind they said but not to worry. Even got put in the ‘under 5mm gestation sac mean at 9w+6’ - which after reading about is apparently impending MC, yet reached the dating scan milestone 🤷‍♀️

Sorry for the essay but what im hoping for from this post is if there are any moms out there who experienced the same as me - cant seem to find similar stories out there.

X

Hi OP I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I could've written this myself between 10 & 16 weeks. I'd had a lot of symptoms in most of my first trimester then after 10 weeks they pretty much disappeared, I felt 'normal' & was convinced I'd miscarried. I've had previous losses so to me pregnancy never ends well. God knows how many times I googled 'I don't feel pregnant'!

At my 12 week scan everything was perfect & I felt reassured for a few days then the doubts started creeping in again. I ended up going for a private scan at 16 weeks, mainly because my parents could come but also because scans were the only thing that gave me confidence that everything was ok.

Since then I've had a resurgence of a lot of symptoms & also felt the baby move at 17+5 weeks. I'm now 19 weeks & feel baby move a little most days. I've got my 20 week scan on Friday which I'm looking forward to but still have that niggle in the back of my mind that something will be wrong!

I wish I could tell you how to not worry but I really don't know, just know you are not alone. Wishing you all the best 😊

Hi OP. I’m 14+5 and I don’t feel pregnant at all. I think it’s quite normal to feel this way, esp when you get used to feeling rubbish one way or another.

The second tri is supposed to be easier as your body regulates and the placenta is doing the work.

Any fears or worries do speak to your midwife, or if a private scan will reassure you it’s never money wasted. Ultrasounds can be out by a few days often, so don’t read too much into it. Hope you’re feeling better 💖

Thanks both for the reassurance and well wishes 💖 Even though its not ideal in a worry sense, at least there are people out there who were in the same boat as me. Helps ease my mind a little because not all pregnancies are hunky dory!

I guess its just a waiting game until the 20 week scan…

Please keep me updated on how everything goes - would be wonderful to keep up with your journey!

Best wishes to you both xx

I'm 27 weeks and apart from my bump
I don't feel pregnant and haven't really all the way through. Had some fatigue and nausea in first trimester but nothing crazy.

You'll be grand OP some people have different pregnancies x

Im 17 weeks and if it wasnt for feeling shattered and having hyperemesis (treated with meds), I wouldnt think I was pregnant.

My 12 week scan I found terrifying. I wound myself up to believe the baby wasnt there or something major would be wrong.
It wasnt. It was fine. Measured correctly and my bloods were normal.

A few days later, all the feelings of dread came back and Ive been worried ever since.
I got to listen to the heartbeat at my last midwide appointment which was so reassuring, but as soon as I left the room, Ive been terrified again.
I dont think it helps that I havent felt any movements yet.
I think the majority of people seem to feel this was until they have the 20 week scan and can feel baby more more.

Maybe you could book a private reassurance scan at some point in the next couple of weeks?

I agree it might help once you can feel the baby move. Hopefully that will be soon.

@Rubyrecka Ahh yes I was the symptom free with my first pregnancy - sadly ended as a MC so it sounds weird but this time round in my first trimester i had every symptom under the sun so it was some kind of reassurance! But yes I fully get that, all pregnancies vary 😅 good luck with your journey, not long left! xx

@Flutterby8 Aha the exact same as me, it doesnt help that im a natural born worry pants though 😂 Ahh i hope thats something they can offer me at my mw appt! I have felt a few flutters and one giant weird sensation one night which was definitely not gas lol but nothing major yet. I think thats the best time to put the mind at ease! Hope the fatigue eases for you soon and best wishes xx

@BertieBotts Definitely looking into this! Around my area it doesnt seem like its a great possibility but i will keep trying and maybe have to travel out of the way for one if thats the case and thank you xx

Hi I have had a symptom free pregnancy, I too had a miscarriage prior and I couldn’t help but worry for this pregnancy too.
I’m currently 24weeks and all is well.
I still check for blood every time I go to the loo.
But after my 12 week scan I told myself baby is fine- there is no blood today so no need to worry.
Then come 20 week scan I was terrified but again all well.
I then started feeling movements and I get reassured a few times a day that they are okay.

Easier said than done but enjoy a easy pregnancy and don’t worry until there is something to worry about

I'm further behind you (only just over 9w) and have had barely any symptoms too and the ones I've had have been few and far between.

Had a private reassurance scan at 6+5 and there was a heartbeat but now I'm so anxious about going for my dating scan and something being wrong. Been feeling very anxious and obsessively checking for blood every time I go to the loo but I've seen lots of threads on here of people saying they had no symptoms at all and all was well.

I can completely relate to this. My symptoms have really varied. I’m 12 weeks on Friday although this is to be confirmed at my scan as some queries round my last period as I was on the pill.

However, I found out at 5 weeks and no joke within about 2 days started to feel dreadful. Exhaustion off the scale, cramps, nausea, dizziness. Then they eased at 9 weeks to the point where some days I felt so good I’d temporarily forget I was pregnant.

Then back to this week, I feel lethargic, can’t stop eating, moody. On the days I feel ‘good’ it makes you worry it everything is okay?

@Kona84 Congratulations, not long left! And you are exactly right, I am always checking but maybe I should just try and take it easy for once! xx

@wanderedlonelyasacloud Congrats! and take it from me, I was the exact same as they silently put some much doubt in my head with the ‘measurements’ that I was almost certain something would be wrong but I was wrong too! I got to the dating scan and the little bean had grown significantly and was jumping around so much the sonographer said ‘you've got a lively one here’ 😂 send best wishes for your scan xx

@EMM10 Congrats and sending best wishes for your scan, its so lovely actually seeing the little one! And tell me about it! Some days i completely forget and act like superwoman around the house then im like sh*t just take it easy 😅 xx

Hello ladies 👋 Can I join in the hand hold, please? I'm 14+6 and could have written these posts myself! I've not had drastic symptoms, but I literally woke up in the middle of the night last night and instantly thought "I have absolutely no symptoms now - I feel completely normal. Has it all gone wrong?!" 😰 I've been the same all day and just can't shake the feeling of dread 😞

I had an MMC last year too - at 11 week scan found out there was no heartbeat and baby's development had stopped at 9 weeks. This was after a viability scan at 7 weeks where everything was fine 😔 My symptoms had disappeared then too so I'm struggling not to freak out now! I was also only reassured by having a good 12+4 scan for about 3 days before the worry kicked back in! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm fighting the urge to pay for a reassurance scan because I still have a bit of PTSD from the MMC scan. I'm trying to jolly myself along and get my mind set to presume everything is fine (well, at least until the 20 week scan when I might be told otherwise!), but finding it really, really hard to pull that off. Would be grateful to tough this out with you ladies who get it.x

@BambiOnIce80 Of course aha! Sorry for your loss but congratulations for your current journey and best wishes 💖

Like in my post, I worry all the time and thanks to the lovely comments its helped ease my mind a little. That doesn't mean I don't worry at times cause if I said no I would be lying!

If you feel a scan will help ease your mind then go for it I say (plus others have said to me on here). It will at least give you some reassurance that you need. But remember that the wait will not get any shorter until your 20 week scan so hopefully your reassurance will last up until then as you said your worry kicked in 3 days after the dating scan.

Would love to hear how your journey goes so if you get time please post again, as our dates are really close!

xx

Thank you @L56x ❤️ It has helped just to write it down, to be honest. When I got home last night I told my DP I was worried because I don't feel pregnant anymore and he pointed out that that I also worry when I get symptoms! 😂 I really do just need to try and relax and see what happens 🔮

Regarding a reassurance scan, it'll probably only reassure me for about 3 days again and then I'd be back to square one! 😏 I'm going to try and tough it out until 20 weeks instead 💪

Our time lines sound very close! 😊 Definitely please keep me updated 🙂 I'll probably update you in a couple of weeks once I've had my next midwife appointment.x

@L56x

Thanks both for the reassurance and well wishes 💖 Even though its not ideal in a worry sense, at least there are people out there who were in the same boat as me. Helps ease my mind a little because not all pregnancies are hunky dory!

I guess its just a waiting game until the 20 week scan…

Please keep me updated on how everything goes - would be wonderful to keep up with your journey!

Best wishes to you both xx

Hi just an update, I had my 20 week scan today & everything is perfect! Baby was tightly curled up in a ball so it was a struggle for the sonographer but she got all the measurements & I got a cute photo of baby's face 😊

@BambiOnIce80 OMG my DP is the exact same lol! And yes just take it easy put your feet up!

I totally get your choice about the scan because to be fair I would probably be the same - seeing as I still have over 5 weeks to go and ahhh great cant wait to hear the updates and ill be sure to share mine aswel! 💖

@JackJack84 Oh wow so adorable! How was the 20 week scan? I presume its so much more of a emotional time knowing your halfway through! Baby is gorgeous already 💖 - do you know the sex yet?

We have chosen to keep it a mystery until the day so wish my luck 😂 xx

@L56x the scan was brilliant, I'd heard they can be a bit tense as the sonographer is quiet taking measurements but ours talked us through the whole thing which was lovely. I saw everything from head to toes which was so reassuring.

As this will probably be my only child we're not finding out the sex. The midwife asked us at the start if we wanted to know, we said we didn't so when she was looking at the bits she turned the screen away.

Since I've started feeling regular movements I've relaxed so much & it's starting to feel more real. I know there's still a long way to go & part of me still feels like it will never happen but I'm trying to stay positive & finally enjoy this pregnancy 😁

Hi op I feel like exactly the same 😢 I'm 14 weeks on Monday and my severe nausea and sore boobs pretty much went at 10 weeks or so (very similar story to @JackJack84) and since then have felt great - but not pregnant! Scan at 13 weeks was perfect and screening results came back low but until I can feel baby kick it's hard isn't it as there's absolutely nothing to reassure us it's all ok. We're very lucky and having a 16 week scan through the NHS due to having a previous DC with genetic issues, so only a few weeks to wait until we see them again, but day to day it's so hard!

I think all we can tell ourselves is that statistically getting past 12 weeks massively reduces anything going wrong and if it did - we would know about it! Wishing you the best OP

@JackJack84 ahhh thats great! Mine was tense at 12 weeks so im hoping the 20 week one is a little more relaxed. And yes, get lots of rest and put your feet up - time will fly by now!

@zeromango I know the exact feeing! But now my fatigue is worse than it was during the first trimester so I am trying to work out if it actually is pregnancy hormones still at large or something else. Ohh and the gas is at a all time high - poor partner has suffered big time 😂 apart from that though there are a lot of days when im not affected and dont feel pregnant at all!

Best wishes for your scan - please keep us updated if you can when you see the little bean 💖

Question: Have you told your employer the news yet? I havent yet due to previous MC but at the start of the pregnancy I was not a size 6 to begin with - more like a size 10 with so tummy chub so my problem is now my stomach is constantly bloated and extending my ‘chub’ 😂

I am not necessarily showing a lot, just the bloat so I am not sure how I can try to conceal this? Any ideas or did you go ahead and tell your work?

@L56x you've described the state of my stomach perfectly! 😂 I've been an 8-10 since I was 18, but I've got a bit of chub (not been running since April), plus bloat and then maybe the beginnings of a baby bump has definitely made me go up at least a dress size 😳 I've been soooo uncomfortable at work that I've given up and have bought some maternity trousers to go under loose tops (not my usual style, so definitely a few eyebrows have been raised 🤨). I'm living in maternity dungarees at the weekends too! So much more comfortable then squashing my bulge into my high waisted jeans (which are the only ones that still fit now!).

Re telling work, my wider workplace doesn't know yet (but obviously are beginning to suspect due to the state of my podge!😳) but my boss has known what was happening since the word go. We had to have IVF to get pregnant, so I needed to isolate to avoid covid cancelling our cycle which is tricky when you do a job that doesn't normally involve working from home 😏 They've been brilliant and supportive throughout, to be fair. I hope your work is just as supportive when you decide to tell them.x

@BambiOnIce80 Ahaha! I have felt so insecure because all those lovely pregnant mummies out there are so slim and gorgeous and i felt
like a massive blob compared to them and I am not even halfway yet! Might have to give the maternity trousers as go just for comfort and not having to feel restricted!

I have my reservations about telling my manager as due to previous MC. He knew I was pregnant before 12 weeks due to covid and change of shifts so when I had my pregnancy loss, he seemed compassionate towards the situation in his intial message but then got me back to work within 3 weeks and told me ‘just carry on’ and ‘you just got to act like everything is normal, life goes on’ and since that date he has not asked me once how I was. I was signed off from work with depression over it and he pretended he ‘wasn't aware why I had been signed off’ so I am at a crossroads with the idea.

But thanks to my belly chub its making it so difficult 😂 I would love to get to 20 weeks and then I feel the idea of discussing it with work more comfortable. Glad you have support though! Its so much better when you are surrounded by decent people and not feel judged xx

How your boss handled your MC was truly awful @L56x 😢 I had 7 weeks off after my MMC last year - 2 weeks to go through the medical and then surgical management and the rest because I simply couldn't stop crying 😞 My boss obviously knew all about it and was great. Has regularly (but not too regularly, if you know what I mean) asked me how I'm doing/coping over the past year. They seem to understand why I'm not keen to tell the rest of my team now because they pretty much get what I've been through to get here over the past 18 months. They don't think I'm nuts for trying to hold off until the 20 week scan at all (even though I guess it'll not surprise many people by then, given the size of me 🤦🏻‍♀️).

Absolutely give the maternity clothes a go! 🤰🏻 Not feeling restricted is such a relief. I must admit that I did have a bit of a panic after I bought a few things in case it's bad news at the 20 week scan and I'm stuck with these maternity clothes that I no longer need... but then I really do need them now, so maybe I should just enjoy being pregnant until proven other wise and go with the flow for now 🧘‍♀️ I can recommend jojo maman bebe's skinny jeans and dungerees - very, very comfortable 😊 I think they do multi-buys for their jeans on the website too 🤔 The size 10's and smalls fit me perfectly 👍

@BambiOnIce80 Oh i know, it wasn’t pleasant especially seeing as it was my first time ever experiencing pain like this :/ Sorry to hear how you felt after your MC, I fully understand how you felt, its a confusing yet sad time. But its so great to hear you had such understanding colleagues that helped you through your time! Hats of to people like that and why cant most people follow suit!

Oh definitely going to give that a look, thanks for the recommendations! Obviously as this pregnancy wasnt planned, I completely forgot having to go through the crucial trimesters in summer where its harder to hid the bump! Winter would have been more ideal, big oversized jumpers 😂😂 nobody would of guessed because i always opt for comfort, it would have been the norm! But im not complaining, this little one is giving me a challenge 😅

Just popping in to see how you're doing @L56x 💐 Have you had your 20 week scan yet? I hope you're doing well.x

@BambiOnIce80 Heyy! I was thinking about updating the post the other day but been swamped at work! Scan is on friday, I just cant wait anymore and time is dragging 😂

How have you been?? Have you had yours yet xx