I will be 37 weeks on Wednesday, June 23rd. I did not find out I was having this baby until I was 15 weeks pregnant. During those 15 weeks, I smoked marijuana almost daily and did cocaine on the weekends. After I found out I was having a baby, I continued to smoke about 3 days a week - primarily for appetite and discomfort - up until about week 28. Since week 28, I've smoked a handful of times. I haven't smoked since around week 32. I did cocaine a few times during the 2nd trimester. I felt terrible about it every time I did. I've done it twice during the 3rd trimester. Once around week 32 (talking like a bump or two - nothing excessive) and I stupidly did it again a couple days ago (again, one or two bumps). I feel like a horrible human being. My drug exposure before pregnancy and during those first 15 weeks were me just being young and "having fun". I know I'm not a drug addict. Addicts feel the need for daily use. I'm not a bad person. I live alone, I pay my rent and my bills on time. I only just went on leave from work today with 23 days til my due date. I have a good work ethic. I'm not a drug addict. My concern is that those times of drug use, specifically the 4 times or so smoking and the two times I've done a little bit of cocaine in this last trimester will show up on the babys drug screening and my very first child will be taken away from me. Am I overthinking? Is that small amount of cocaine even enough to show up in the babys meconium? I'm more so worried about the cocaine over the marijuana, obviously. I've read so many articles and they all say something different. I realize habitual use would show up. But is doing it twice in 10 weeks (assuming the baby doesn't come until at least 38+ weeks) enough for it to show up in the baby's testing? Please, no judgment. I've made mistakes. And I hate that I've made recent ones. But I'm a good person and I want my baby and, frankly, I'm freaking out.