Drug Use During Pregnancy

[catcolb4]

I will be 37 weeks on Wednesday, June 23rd. I did not find out I was having this baby until I was 15 weeks pregnant. During those 15 weeks, I smoked marijuana almost daily and did cocaine on the weekends. After I found out I was having a baby, I continued to smoke about 3 days a week - primarily for appetite and discomfort - up until about week 28. Since week 28, I've smoked a handful of times. I haven't smoked since around week 32. I did cocaine a few times during the 2nd trimester. I felt terrible about it every time I did. I've done it twice during the 3rd trimester. Once around week 32 (talking like a bump or two - nothing excessive) and I stupidly did it again a couple days ago (again, one or two bumps). I feel like a horrible human being. My drug exposure before pregnancy and during those first 15 weeks were me just being young and "having fun". I know I'm not a drug addict. Addicts feel the need for daily use. I'm not a bad person. I live alone, I pay my rent and my bills on time. I only just went on leave from work today with 23 days til my due date. I have a good work ethic. I'm not a drug addict. My concern is that those times of drug use, specifically the 4 times or so smoking and the two times I've done a little bit of cocaine in this last trimester will show up on the babys drug screening and my very first child will be taken away from me. Am I overthinking? Is that small amount of cocaine even enough to show up in the babys meconium? I'm more so worried about the cocaine over the marijuana, obviously. I've read so many articles and they all say something different. I realize habitual use would show up. But is doing it twice in 10 weeks (assuming the baby doesn't come until at least 38+ weeks) enough for it to show up in the baby's testing? Please, no judgment. I've made mistakes. And I hate that I've made recent ones. But I'm a good person and I want my baby and, frankly, I'm freaking out.

I know I'm not a drug addict
yes you are, otherwise you'd have stopped when you found out you were pregnant. Your post makes me feel absolutely sick to my stomach. This baby is going to have a hard life I think :(

You have some growing up to do, and fast.

You are an addict and you need to speak to your doctor or midwife so both you and your baby can get the help you need.

This probably wasn’t the best place to post this OP.

What strikes me is that you say several times that you aren’t an addict. We can all use google so I’m certain you know the risks of using cocaine during pregnancy. If you genuinely weren’t an addict, you wouldn’t be doing it. You could have a placental abruption. Your baby could die. You know this. Their growth may already be compromised.

You need to speak to your midwife and get support from the appropriate multidisciplinary teams. It’s really important that you get this into place now. You stand a much better chance of a happy outcome for you and baby the sooner you get help. If you can demonstrate to social services that you know you have a problem and need support, you are far more likely to be able to keep your baby than if they start withdrawing after birth seemingly randomly.

@Thatsmydaughterinthewater

Using cocaine during pregnancy is very unhealthy and harmful for the baby. So you have two explanations for your drug use:

1. You don’t care about your baby or how the drugs impact their development; or
2. You have a problem with drugs and you seek help. You are honest with healthcare workers so they can give your baby the appropriate care to mitigate the damage your drug use has caused.

Yes, and unfortunately from reading your post OP it’s coming across as number 1, you’ve not mentioned once that you’re terrified that your actions could have caused life long damage to your unborn child or that they could be born and need special care. The fact that you’ve hidden this thus far from medical professionals is, and I do not say this lightly, disgraceful. I’m trying to be compassionate as we’ve all done things we regret BUT your child isn’t born yet and you’re already neglecting them. Have you stopped to think what’s in the best interest of your baby?

I don’t know if you’re an addict or not, but I can’t fathom why knowing you’re pregnant you still took class a drugs. To be honest, it would be more understandable if you were an addict.

I don’t recall them doing a drug screening when DD was born. BUT if you’re child needs special help at birth and it’s a distinct possibility, the consultants will know why and it will reflect even worse on you because you haven’t been honest.

I'm sorry but I hope your baby is taking from you, there are so many people that are genuinely good people who would be desperate you give your baby the life it deserves. I'm actually not sorry.

You aren't going to get any sympathy on here. You put your own needs first, yes needs because you are in fact clearly addicted to drugs. No decent mother would put themselves first. I am disgusted at what I'm reading. I have no idea if the drugs will show up, but a midwife told me she knows who the smokers are because the placenta comes out black and smelling like an ashtray. So I hope they can tell what you've been doing and your poor baby gets some intervention

were me just being young and "having fun". I know I'm not a drug addict
I was 18 when I had my ds and I’m now I’m 23 and 12 weeks pregnant with my second. I’m young too.
Have I ever used a drug? No.
Have I ever used my age to convince myself that it would be ok to take drugs in pregnancy? Absolutely and categorically not.

Stop making excuses about your age trying to justify using drugs in pregnancy. It’s sick.

It is natural the amount of angry responses you are getting on here. For most of us, we would never do anything to harm our babies and do everything to protect them, so what you are doing seems unfathomable. I'm sat here with a baby in my tummy worrying about whether I've eaten enough protein today and would deliberate back and forth about having a glass of watered down wine with my meal at a wedding.

I also know there are some terrible walks of life that many have just never been exposed to. I'm related to a heroin addict who used throughout her pregnancy. On the outside it is unfathomable. But those closer to her had more insight. She'd been raised in the care system. She'd been prostituted out since the age of 13. She lived in a bed sit with no wallpaper or carpets. She used because that's all she knew. Her baby died a few weeks after birth, by the way. Nature didn't show any sympathy for her difficult past.

Rather than give you an angry rant about what a terrible mother you are, because I know that won't work, I have some questions for you.

Who are you using with? Someone is doing the drugs with you right? Then why are you in their company? You know they don't have your best interests at heart, right?

Or are you using alone? How long have you been using alone? And why?

What is your plan? You keep repeating the same mistakes so what do you need to change? Can you change and do you want to change? You can't wish change into existence so what are you going to do about it? And if you don't want to change, then what are your plans to keep your baby safe once they arrive?

What's the underlying cause of this destructive behavior? If not addiction? Then what? Most people don't just go around fancying a bit of coke in pregnancy. So what makes you the outlier? What deep down inside of you is causing this behavior? Is this a demon you want to live with for the rest of your life, baby or no baby?

Have you ever been to an AA meeting or similar? What's stopping you from talking about this with a real person? Or a real group of people who have been where you are now and come out the other side? What's stopping you from getting their perspective?

OP I think you need some help
You say you aren't addicted but being pregnant doesn't present a good enough reason for you not to use
Why would it be any different when you have the baby?

Please get some support

Tell your midwife and deal with the consequences. It's the best thing for the child.

This is a shocking read OP. Not once have you mentioned the damage you may have inflicted on your baby, all you seem concerned about is being caught. Please come clean to your midwife and Dr, and please get help. Think about your baby.

You are definitely an addict unfortunately. It is not just daily users that are addicts like you mention in your OP.

Here's me taking the odd rennie or paracetamol and panicking...

I think you know really that it isn't good, you are unlikely to get any sympathy here tbh

Of course you’re an addict. And it’s a bit rich trying to ban people from judging your actions.

If you care about your innocent baby you’ll contact your midwife today, be completely honest and accept the help you need and took child deserves.

I wouldn’t keep repeating to them that you’re not an addict because the obvious follow up to that is then why are you doing it…

This thread will disappear over some 'concerns' in a minute (which will actually be the OP not liking what she hears...)

But here's my voice anyway.

OP you need to tell your midwife. You need additional monitoring up to birth because you and your baby are at risk as a result of your actions. This will likely lead to SS involvement but this does not automatically mean your child will be taken.

You need to seek help for your drug dependency. You are an addict of you can't stop, which you clearly can't, not just if you use daily. Your addition has put your baby at risk of disability or death. Let that sink in.

They'll be able to tell about smoking by the look of your placenta anyway. A healthy placenta is dark red, a smokers is gritty and more grey. They're very obvious.

Please for the sake of that poor baby, tell the professionals and get help. And don't expect not to be judged on here for your actions, frankly they're despicable. Would you allow a baby to have cocaine rubbed on their gums? No? Then why it is ok to expose them to it in the womb?!

This is so sad to read
You need to speak to your midwife straight away, maybe it's time to finally think about your baby!!
People try for years to have children, pregnancy is such a gift what you've done Several times is make a choice to abuse your baby...get help

OP what's done is done but the positives are that you recognise this is something you need to stop both for yourself and your baby and it seems this is something you want to do.
Have you got strategies for how to avoid any drug use from now on? Are you engaging with any professional support? Your midwife and GP will be non-judgemental and want to do their best to support you and your baby.
It's really important to let some professionals know in case your baby needs any additional support and monitoring during and after the birth. Sharing information with professionals shows that you can prioritise the wellbeing of your baby and put them first.

You do realise that cocaine isn't 100% cocaine don't you? They mix it with all sorts of crap to bulk it out. You have absolutely no idea what you have exposed your unborn child to. You need to get your child the medical attention they need when they are born because you could have sniffed rat poison for all you know

@SouthwestSis

OP what's done is done but the positives are that you recognise this is something you need to stop both for yourself and your baby and it seems this is something you want to do. Have you got strategies for how to avoid any drug use from now on? Are you engaging with any professional support? Your midwife and GP will be non-judgemental and want to do their best to support you and your baby. It's really important to let some professionals know in case your baby needs any additional support and monitoring during and after the birth. Sharing information with professionals shows that you can prioritise the wellbeing of your baby and put them first.

This.

The poor baby. If you cant kick the drug habit, let your baby go so they can live a better life without you. You clearly are thinking about yourself and not the wellbeing of your child!

Please get help immediately.

Most of us worry about having unpasteurised cheese or some rare steak during pregnancy when we know we shouldn't. But drugs? That's just madness and extremely worrying for you and the baby. Please please get help. If you're doing drugs when you're pregnant you're not going to stop when the baby is here are you? You will not be able to care for the baby properly if you do, even if it is "the odd bump of coke."

Have you made contact with a drug liaison midwife in your area?

Enough with the bashing, she was brave enough to post her concerns. I don't condone it, but it's too late now - what's done is done. What can be done is help going forward for this poster. Please seek help through your midwife OP

"They'll be able to tell about smoking by the look of your placenta anyway. A healthy placenta is dark red, a smokers is gritty and more grey. They're very obvious."

My placenta was piece meal, my own child was lucky to be born alive. Massive placental abruption, with VCI. Often seen in women who abuse cocaine, was told this by my obstetrician. I have never touched drugs in my life. Not even a cigarette. Never been so shocked in my life.

You are an addict - or you'd have been able to lay off for the sake of your unborn child.
No sympathy at all. If you care even a tiny bit -Tell your midwife so they can prepare for the needs your baby may have due to what you've put in your body.
And prepare for social services to be up your arse - quite rightfully.
Paying your rent on time and assuming that makes you a good person, and enough to overlook what you've done is shocking.