Thinking of having another baby 2months pp. Am i insane?

[SunnySideUp2020]

My DD is 2 months old.
Before i gave birth DH said he wanted babies close together and I was saying no way. After he experienced the crazy newborn stage (still ongoing), he is now saying he is happy with her and not thinking of another one for now and i am now starting to think I'd like to have my babies close in age.

Even if i did convince him we would not start trying until end of this year as i am still EBF.

Am i crazy?

What are your experiences with second pregnancy/baby?

I think it's best to give yourself a bit of time in between to make sure it's definitely what you want and not the hormones influencing you. They say it's best not to make any life changing decisions within a year of having a baby.

Don’t forget your body has been through an awful lot of changes to grow a baby... it will be quite hard on it to bounce straight back into a second pregnancy in just a few months.
I would also be put off by the sleepless nights/tending to a newborn with morning sickness, SPD etc

But having said that, plenty of people do it!

The shorter the gap between birth and falling pregnant again, the higher the chance for a miscarriage or premature baby. They say at least 18 months for that reason. But of course every body is different and some don't have time on their side etc. I know ladies who fell pregnant by accident three months after and went on to have healthy babies. X

Yes. Allow yourself time to heal, adjust to life and enjoy your baby.

Hmmm I'm going to disagree.
My DD turned 6 months a few days ago, the same day I had my second pregnancy confirmed. I'm still only 5 weeks (wasn't aware of the higher miscarriage risk mind), and if all pans out there'll be 14 months apart in age. Hoping to have a 3rd soonish afterwards but I'm going to wait and see a bit, and probably aim for more like 18 than 14 months.
Like your DH I wanted them close together. There's several years between me and my 2 siblings and I just grew up wanting kids close in age reasoning they'd be more likely close in other things.
Also, it depends on your own age. I'll be 40 when my DC2 is born and am pretty certain I want a 3rd so I can't really hang about too much :)
Basically do what's right for you, although if you had a caesarean you do need to give you body more time to recover.

Like Lewisham
I had my booking in apt and pregnancy check at baby's six month check. I went back to work the next day as maternity leave was over. So just over a year and two months apart. It's been brilliant. I wouldn't want any bigger a gap.
They are in school now. It was easy enough (busy) but a decent double buggy. Online food delivery. You make it work.

Hi!
I don't have as small a gap, I had 2 under 2 though, I got pregnant 11months pp so 20 months between them.
It honestly is up to you and what you have felt so far with a newborn, how your pregnancy was and how you have healed but I can give you my experience.
Some of the posts above are from mums with 1 currently expecting the second but my experience is having 2 toddlers. I agree that having them close together is wonderful. They are such good pals now. I have a DD 3y9m and my DS was 2 on sunday.
My pregnancy with him was a whole different ballgame, I was so much more exhausted as I had a toddler to run about after. It is really really hard to get about with 2 under 2. Especially if you dont have a great deal of help. I had to bring a small toddler to all my hospital apps etc. They are both also complete flight risks lol
Now it is absolutely brilliant but if you do decide on a small age gap prepare that the first 6 months could be hard going.
I do think a bit more time would be wise, by the time you had another baby your little one would be a fiesty 1 year old rather than a sleepy newborn that you have now.
I do just think it is important to say that a baby is in many ways much easier than a toddler and I think I rushed into a small gap and although I wouldn't change it, found it hard.
Saying that I'm 7 weeks preg with number 3 so what so I know, I'm mad 😂

I fell pregnant when my dd was just under 2. I found being pregnant with a little one brutal. I was just soo tired, and towards the end found it hard to do things like bend and play with dd1. I felt soo guilty and that I was missing enjoying a stage of her childhood. I wouldnt give dd2 up for the world and hopefully it will be nice they are fairly close I age.

Let your body physically recover otherwise you could have a difficult birth. Personally I'd wait till your baby is at leat 10 months old to start trying again. Once your baby starts moving in a few months you may reconsider. I'd enjoy the baby you've got for now. But people have done it snd it's been fine, snd of course it had its pros! I'm just saying go gentle snd really think about it. I was still in an absolute haze at 8 weeks, definitely couldn't be trusted to make life decisions😅

Thanks everyone for all your replies!

You might be right in that i shouldn't make big decisions now probably! I have no idea what a toddler is like...

I did have an uncomplicated pregnancy but suffered from SPD a lot, and morning sickness for a couple of weeks in first trimester was absolutely horrendous... at the time i did say to the doc if i had known i wouldn't have done it 🤐

The birth itself was very straightforward, VB, no tears. But i did have a retained placenta and an infection with fever afterwards...

So yeah lots of things to consider.

I just felt like I'd rather be in the baby/diapers/sleepless night/no time for myself stage for a couple of years now instead of dragging it.
The other option would be to wait until DD is at school but then the gap might be much bigger :/

I am a twin myself and absolutely loved having my brother from childhood to now. At school and in life in general. We are best friends, always been there for each other and doing amazing things like studying, partying, travelling...etc and now settling down also at the same time (he is ttc) and i wish my kids would also feel close together like we do :)

But will probably wait a bit longer to give my body some time and also see if this isn't just hormones going crazy!

*studying wasn't "amazing" 😂 just meant we made lots of amazing memories together in the 32 years we have been on this earth!

Congrats on your baby . I knew I wanted another baby by the time DS1 was 4mths old. We waited a while as we wanted to enjoy the baby days with him, I was pregnant when he was a year old. 21 mths gap, DS2 arrived worked out really well for us. Good luck with whatever you decide is right for you.

I found looking after little ones very straightforward. It was pregnancy that I found tough. Being very sick and fatigued while looking after toddlers is no fun for you or them (also crashing migraines 🤢) I was lucky and had great support, so two sets of 20 months between babies worked well for me.
I would agree to ideally let your body recover and hormones settle for the first year, and let DH get over the shock too!
Congrats on your beautiful little one

Mine are 2 years apart, it's hard work when they are small, friends whose were closer found it incredibly tough, some argue harder than twins because of their different needs. Give yourselves until closer to a year then talk about it

I have a little boy who turned one yesterday and I'm due our 2nd in 3 weeks! Can't wait! This pregnancy is much easier than my first, I had spd and could barely walk but have breezed through this one

IMO yes you're crazy. My daughter is nearly 2 and I still can't consider another cuz the toddler stages is HARD. Can't imagine doing it with a newborn.

I was in post natal when I told DH, that I knew I wanted another.
I didn't return to contraception, EBF and let nature take its course. Mine are very close together and I don't regret it.

It’s your hormones
Perfectly natural

I became pregnant again when DD was 7 months old, so there’s 16 months between them.
If I’d waited, I would never have had my second child, as DH died suddenly before her first birthday.
It was very hard having a baby and toddler as a widowed single parent, but they played together well and I got the exhausting nappies/teething/tantrums stage all over in one fell swoop, while working as a doctor and grieving DH. I have few memories of that time, it’s just a miserable blur.
However, once the DDs were older, the small age gap was good, and our outings suited both as age appropriate. My only problem was a mad drive between Edinburgh and Durham universities when they both graduated at the same time!

Congratulations on your new baby! I have a 14m gap between mine and I love it. First pregnancy I struggled a lot with spd. Second time round not so much. I was exhausted having a toddler to run after and leaning over a cot whilst heavily pregnant was no fun! But my DD went into a bed earlier so that solved that problem!

The first year is tough but it gets easier and they grow up together. Mine are really close and generally play together well now.

14 month age gap between mine, the first 5 month were hell on earth. It's now bearable but eldest is in nursery 4 days and youngest is starting next week. Wouldn't recommend the gap to anyone tbh. I have no doubt it's lovely when they're 2/3yo but I'm not there yet so can't comment. I have 2 easy babies too. But they're both still very much babies. As for the pregnancy second time my body basically crumbled. In less than 2 years I'd gained 3 stone, lost 2, gained another 3. My back and knees definitely took a beating.

I have a 20m age gap with mine - my eldest was 11m when I got pregnant again.
You mention you're breastfeeding- while it's possible to conceive sooner than a year (I did!) and unlikely before six months if you're using it as contraception, I hadn't bargained for the effect on breastfeeding. Basically the hormonal changes can totally dry your milk up, they might not but as it's hormonal there's nothing you can do to increase your supply once it happens. If you conceive before your first child is one you might need to monitor their weight and consider giving formula. That might be what you're planning anyway, I just hadn't known that when I got pregnant the second time and it would have been good to prepare myself.
If you do plan on getting pregnant while you're still breastfeeding there's a Facebook group called pregnant and tandem breastfeeding uk which is pretty helpful. Again I kind of wish I'd found that at the planning a second stage rather than when I was much further along. I wouldn't have tried to conceive the second when my first was six months, luckily my body wasn't up for that and made me wait.

@Babdoc so sorry about your husband, I can't imagine how hard that was for you 💐

I have 13 months between mine and the first year in particular was very hard work. Your body needs some time to recover, I'd recommend leaving it a bit longer than I did if you can.

Another thing to consider is childcare... can you afford not to work or have 2 kids in childcare in order to work?
We had to make the decision to wait to have number 2 as we simply couldn't afford 2 nursery bills!
We planned to wait until my daughter was 3 to try again, but Covid and other issues delayed us. I'll now be due when my daughter is 4.5 and starting school.
Although the idea of going back to sleepless nights, breastfeeding and nappies seems scary, I think that baby is going to have heaps of 1:1 time with me whilst my eldest is at school... then when I'm back to work, my eldest will have lots of time with us in school holidays whilst the youngest is at nursery, so they will both get lots of "focus time". Plus, I'm going into the birth feeling vaguely refreshed and ready for more sleepless nights etc.
And 4 year olds are SUPER helpful... my daughter loves helping with making sandwiches, setting the table, fetching stuff for me... 2/3 year olds are more of a bull in a china shop! ;-)

BUT, that is just my justification for the age gap I chose... it really is up to you :-)