I am very bad at dealing with regular pain. I cry if I stub my toe. I have bad period pains and am awful with them. Can't cope at all.
But I found labour to be totally different. I copied well. Yes, it bloody hurt, but it was qualitatively different from "normal" pain. I would rather have a late labour contraction than stub my toe! Mine get regular quite quickly, so with a contraction timer app my husband could tell me when to expect one and how long it would be, so I could count the seconds until it started releasing.
My biggest tip for labour is to make a big list of every pain relief option you might consider and put it in order you'd like to try and give your husband a copy. Once one stops doing it for you, move onto the next. It's very individual. I never had any massage or anything because I hated being touched because I couldn't concentrate properly on the pain. (Yes, this sounds nuts! But I found labour pain to be very different to regular pain, where I would be pleased to be distracted.) But I never made it that far up my list because I progressed quicker than expected. Still peeved I never got in the birth pool!
First time, I had a spinal, like a one shot epidural, to be sewn up afterwards as it was a bit internal and they wanted to take their time. I didn't like it at all, but some women love it. I adore gas and air. It's like magic for me. Allows me to feel everything but rise above it.
Second time I had one tear and seriously, I bitched about the anaesthetic injection more than labour.
I would try not to worry about tearing. Many women do but these days it truly is no biggie most of the time. I had a few stitches and recovered 100%. Once I'd been stitched up I had no pain from them at all and the stitches just dissolved and fell out without me noticing. I have had zero ongoing issues.
I read the introduction of a hypnobirthing book (I meant to read it all, honestly!) and while I didn't intend to go without any pain relief, I still found the framing of labour very helpful. I particularly remember thinking about how I had a finite number of contractions to go until the baby was out, and each one ticked one off the list.
Also, pushing is GREAT. Dilating hurts, but it starts off just a little ouch quite far apart then works its way up to hurting a lot and close together but you still get a breather in between. I had an 11h labour first time but I was at a 1-3 on the pain scale for a few hours, then 4-6 for a few hours, etc. And then pushing is fantastic because it completely takes the pressure off something inside me and it feels glorious and is WAY less painful than late stage contractions. Crowning hurt a fair bit with #1, possibly because I completely disobeyed the midwife's instructions to stop pushing because at that point the idea seemed insane, and hurt not at all with #2. But please, look forward to pushing. I had to push for quite a while with #1 because I couldn't feel what was effective and what wasn't, and it was really tiring, but it still felt really satisfying.
I did find my first birth traumatic. Sorry. But I don't want to lie to you. However, it was nothing to do with the physical aspects of giving birth and mostly to do with how I was treated postnatally. (Really unusually poorly.) And it was hard, dealing with that. But there are specialist birth trauma therapists and I loved mine and went on to have a fantastic second birth at a different hospital. I think my trauma was about being treated badly as an anxious new mother, not to do with the birth. I mention it because it really is something you can avoid and/or move on from with the right support.
The interesting thing about labour is the extent to which your body gets on with it and you're just along for the ride.