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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Should I bring DH to booking in appointment?

39 replies

WestToEast · 11/06/2021 22:55

Pregnant for the first time, so not sure how these things normally work and even more so during Covid. I've got my booking in appointment in a week and a half. Is it advised or normal to take your partner with you? I don't want him to feel like he's missing out on any experience, as this is all new to him too, but equally don't want to be the one weirdo who brings her husband along if it's not the done thing. I realise there will be questions about his family history, but we've been together forever so I'm up to speed on all that. Does Covid prevent anyone from accompanying you?

Thanks!

OP posts:

00100001 · 11/06/2021 22:55

No.

It's just form filling and dull.

00100001 · 11/06/2021 22:58

I mean, there's nothing stopping him being there. And some people like it.
But 99% of questions will be about you and your health (obviously) it is all a bit pointless him being there really.

Gembie · 11/06/2021 22:59

Are you in the UK? Most appointments in the entire NHS currently you can’t bring anyone else. Some hospital trusts are letting partners in for scans however, but it’s at their discretion and not guaranteed currently.

But yes the booking appointment is just endless questions and v boring. I actually had mine last July over the telephone which is fine as it is just questions - all my other appointments were face to face

Noshowlomo · 11/06/2021 22:59

No, it’s form filling so no reason for him to be there.

CheshireSplat · 11/06/2021 23:02

I was the weirdo who took my DH. Then got grilled about domestic violence the next time. I don't think it was a coincidence!

I just assumed he would go, but the midwife must have flagged it as controlling.

okokok000 · 11/06/2021 23:03

It depends. I have mine tomorrow and was told my husband can attend.

okokok000 · 11/06/2021 23:03

I'm in the U.K. (large nhs hospital in London).

Arrierttyclock · 11/06/2021 23:04

My form filling booking app was on the phone and my next one was a few days later for bloods. Absolutely no need for him to be there

TakeYourFinalPosition · 11/06/2021 23:06

I was told that he can attend anything else but they prefer not to have partners at the booking in appointment so that they can ask you questions about topics that may be private, such as previous health and domestic violence etc.

DH waited in the car for me. It was urine and blood tests, then a chat.

We are first time parents too and he’s loved coming to the scans and things, but he doesn’t feel he missed out not coming to that appt.

EdithGrantham · 11/06/2021 23:06

I had mine over the phone with DH sat next to me, there were some family health questions I wasn't sure on for my DH side of the family but he didn't know either so wasn't particularly helpful, otherwise like others have said it's a bit of a boring one, take him to the next one after your scan though if you can because you get to hear the heartbeat for the first time which is lovely. They asked about DV at next appointment for me too, it's a standard question these days I think.

edgylemons · 11/06/2021 23:06

I didn't take my partner to the booking appointment, it was just lots of questions, my weight, height, blood pressure, urine and blood samples, however hes comes to the scans :)

swiftt · 11/06/2021 23:07

@CheshireSplat they ask everyone about DV. You wouldn’t have been flagged because he was there. They just don’t ask until you’re on your phone. My booking in was over the phone but I had baby’s dad with me whilst I was on the phone and my midwife asked the DV questions at my next appointment when I saw her alone in person and said she couldn’t have asked them whilst I was with him.

OP, I wouldn’t bring him because it’s a pretty boring appointment. Absolutely nothing exciting for him at all, just your medical history etc.

Chelyanne · 11/06/2021 23:35

No. I took my dh to 1 consultant app, pretty pointless he sat there quiet and forgot what they said anyway lol.

Original poster

WestToEast · 11/06/2021 23:56

Thanks all. Yes I'm in the UK, in Scotland. I was struggling to find the answer on NHS Scotland site and my appointment letter didn't say anything about whether or not to bring anyone. I'll just get him to wait at home.

OP posts:

PurpleFlower1983 · 12/06/2021 04:34

For my first baby my DH was encouraged to attend, second baby we didn’t bother.

Dyra · 12/06/2021 06:53

I did take DH to mine, but this was pre-Covid. Not sure if he'd be allowed in on a non-scan appointment now. He was useful for answering the questions about his relevant family medical history, but that was it.

If/When I have another, he won't be coming to the booking appointment.

FrancesFlute · 12/06/2021 07:03

I wouldn't take him. It really is boring form filling. If you know family history that's great. Also seems unnecessary with covid measures still in place. Mine was over the phone.

Take him to the scans

GloriousMystery · 12/06/2021 07:17

@CheshireSplat

I was the weirdo who took my DH. Then got grilled about domestic violence the next time. I don't think it was a coincidence!

I just assumed he would go, but the midwife must have flagged it as controlling.

No, they will always ask about domestic violence — it’s a requirement — so the ‘flagging’ will only have been that as you weren’t alone and able to be asked at booking in, that you should be asked next time.

DH came with me to booking in, and from what I remember our midwife asked him to step outside while she asked me about DV.

Passthecake30 · 12/06/2021 07:19

Mine only came to the scans

Needingsupportplease · 12/06/2021 07:52

I took my dh and its a good job i did! They ask all sorts about medical history and twins etc and I had no idea on my husbands side he knew all the answers but not sure if you're allowed anyone atm? If you know both your history's hell just be bored haha

CliffsofMohair · 12/06/2021 08:10

@CheshireSplat

I was the weirdo who took my DH. Then got grilled about domestic violence the next time. I don't think it was a coincidence!

I just assumed he would go, but the midwife must have flagged it as controlling.

The DV question is standard

NatalieH2220 · 12/06/2021 08:15

I took DH for our firsts booking in (pre covid). There was no need as it was just form filling and questions but it was nice to go together still.

Not sure what the current rules are though.

Original poster

WestToEast · 12/06/2021 08:26

Yeah, I think he'd like to be involved but nowhere can I find Covid guidance about it. The clinic is only 10 min walk away and the appointment doesn't clash with his work so there's nothing stopping him there, but I just wish I had a definitive answer about what the Covid regulations are. Maybe safest not to bring him. He is coming to the scan though.

OP posts:

Ughmaybenot · 12/06/2021 08:30

DH didn’t come to mine, it’s not terribly exciting, and it’s mostly all about you so basically he’d be no use at all, which may have the opposite effect of making him feel more involved! It’s just form filling, blood test, urine test, quick chat, bye.
Scans etc are very different and of course you’ll want DH there for those. Congratulations

SamMil · 12/06/2021 08:49

My husband wasn't at the checking in appointment. As others have said, it was just to fill out a form - he won't miss anything exciting . They also asked safeguarding/DV questions, so it worked well him not being there

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