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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

SCAN AT 14 WEEKS, Can they tell the SEX OF THE BABY ???

85 replies

sweetbean · 20/11/2007 11:53

Having my first scan on Friday and will be 14 weeks exactly, so just wondered if there was any chance that they might be able to tell what sex the baby was even if there no 100% certain ?

Thanks for any replies x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hunkermunker · 22/11/2007 19:16

I thought that for a mo, Fio!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 22/11/2007 19:19

No it doesn't you daft bat. I am pissed as hell that you could be called stupid and narrow minded (even if I am resurrecting yesterday's thread! It takes me time to get to things sometimes!) just because you understand that it's the HEALTH of the baby that matters.. not it's bloody gender!

People don't have to have a disabled child to understand that fact surely.. if they would just engage their brains and think "there but for the grace of God.." or even "How lucky I am to be having a healthy child.." or one that doesn't need aborting because it's abnormalities are so severe that the baby is "incompatible with life".

Now I wouldn't normally "preach".. but the "stupid" and "narrow minded" comments got to me!

hunkermunker · 22/11/2007 19:20

Oh, I so want to use my phrase about being so narrow-minded the sides touch. Can I, can I? Not about Fio, obv

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 22/11/2007 19:21

Go for it Hunker! Put in nicely into context thought please...

hunkermunker · 22/11/2007 19:24

Not about you either, SJ

sweetbean · 24/11/2007 10:06

i spy with my little eye.............. some lonely house wives with nothing better to do than bitch !!!

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 24/11/2007 10:49

sweetbean - I and everyone here wishes you and your family well. You seem to confuse a desire to discuss and debate issues with a personal attack.

From my reading of these boards it is quite plain that many women feel the scan is a real plus time for them - to get to know their baby, to find out whether it's Thomas or Thomasina, to start being a parent because it makes it all 'real'. For some women though a scan is the moment when they find out if their heart is going to be broken again or not.

I have no idea of your history - but I belong firmly in the first camp, have always had uncomplicated pregnancies, been lucky enough to have never miscarried. But because of a heart problem my dd2 was born with (she's fine though) I was offered a cardiac scan with dd3. By the time I got to that teaching hospital, to that high tech scan I was in a state of total fear that something horrible would be wrong with my baby. Well she was absolutely fine BUT had I seen a thread like this asking about the sex of the baby at that time - I think I would have responded pretty badly. Can you not understand the great divide between those for whom everything, thank God has gone well for, and those whose lives as mothers have been attended by gut wrenching moments of fear and grief? Perhaps you do - if so I can only appeal to you to let the personal comments stop - there is so much good will and good advice to be got here. All the best.

ruva · 24/11/2007 11:07

Thanks Northern for your words of wisdom to that person.

VictorianSqualor · 24/11/2007 11:29

Well, wtf is going on here???

sweetbean, by all means ask your sonographer if they can see what it is, there is a large chance they won't.
FWIW, I had my 20wk scan yesterday and the first thing the sonographer asked was if I ahd any particular questions about the scan, (I did want to know where my placenta was but that was because of delivery choices) and she asked if I wanted to know the gender.

Sometimes, they really will not physically be able to see, so I suggest if you ask and they say no, then you wait til your 20wk scan and ask again, don't play on the 'gentel perswason or crying and stamping my feet' because if your babies genitals haven't physically grown yet how is that going to work

I also think you've reacted rather badly to the other posters on this thread, and an apology wouldn't go a miss.

frazzledbutcalm · 24/11/2007 14:00

My friend had probs during preg and had several detailed scans (measuring limbs, checking organs etc). Each time diff doc told her she was having a boy - she had a girl!!! hubby kept frantically asking the midwife where babys willy was, he just could not take in when the midwife was saying, no you've had a girl! All he could see was his 'son' had no boy bits!! I think that's why they dont like to tell you sex of baby as it can often be wrong even when several doctors think they are 100% correct.

oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 24/11/2007 18:09

they told me i was having a boy at 14 weeks. It was great to know. O bought all blue bedding curtains, toys - loadds of clothes and .... IT WAS A GIRL!!!
So in answer to op - no you cant tell!!

mumofk · 24/11/2007 20:37

Hmm, talking about what I do for a living....Can't skip this thread!
Firstly, need to point out SOME people coming for scans for whatever reason, march in and grunt 'want a picture' 'want to know what it is'. Very tricky when baby has died or is size of grain of rice to try to explain to said persons that I can't answer those questions, and certainly not before I start scanning! I get the impression everyone here is able to communicate a little more than that, so that issue is probably a non-issue. Being aware that problems can be find is an important point, and others have put that really tactfully- glad they've said that much better than I could.
At 14 weeks, there are a lot of variables. Firstly, some NHS trusts have a policy of not saying. That's nothing to do with the sonographers, its the powers that be. If you are stuck with that kind of policy, write and complain.Maybe things will change.Where I work we look up to anatomy check (around 20-24 wks)- after that its only growth scans and we get 10mins to check everything we have to- not enough time to go hunting for sex. If you've got a little show off, I would be able to say, but nothave chance ot go hunting for you.
Secondly it does depend on your build. For example, my BMI is 28, I'm a little well padded around the middle, so hard to scan. I'm not having my anat scan until 22 weeks to give them a better chance of seeing things ( if you're bigger build and going for anatomy check at18 weeks don't be surprised if you get a 2nd scan to finish off!!). At the mo I don't want to find out the sex, but the more padding or muscle around the middle makes it MUCH harder to see fine detail, and sex with legs together definately counts as that.
Thirdly, the equipment makes a huge difference.We have newer/older equipement and generally newer stuff lets us see more.
The person doing your scan- if properly trained ( I won't get on my soap-box on this one) shouldn't make any difference. A trainee should be adequately supervised by an experienced sonographer, so it shouldn't make any diffference, except your scan may take longer and everything could be double- scanned, making extra sure they agree on the findings.
Fourthly, bubs position has a huge influence. If its hiding, you've not got much of a chance.
Where I work we don't audit our findings of sex- its an extra, and we're trying to keep up with audits of the parts of the scan medically important. But we do know we get it wrong sometimes (I usually ask folk to let us know if we get it right but only got feedback about once in the last 5 yrs!).
So, 14 weeks, ask if you want to try to find out, please don't take it as a final answer.If you have a later scan, you can ask for a 2nd opinion, but what would you do if you get the other answer?
I had a lady tell me bub was male from a blood test (nobody in the clinic had heard of any reliable test, think she found it on the net) and asked me to check for her. I thought it was female and she was extremely upset- I could only tell her what I thought.
Also friend of a friend asked at every scan, and got told same thing at every scan, until the day before her section when we said the opposite- she was gutted, not becuase she had wanted one in particular, but she had a mental image of her baby and we took that away from her.
Good luck with finding out what you want to know, and hope all works out ok. Sorry, can't seem to write short messages!!
mumofk

bracingair · 24/11/2007 20:40

at 14 weeks (possibly earlier at 13) i was told your baby just opened your legs and showed me....! If they are certain, more likely it is a boy. She told me it was a boy and she was right. Also was confirmed at 20 weeks.

I thought some hospitals had a policy because some cultures value boys over girls.

When my dd was born by cs, i started to cry when they told me it was a girl. the nurses got really nervous, and when they came over to me, all i could blubber " im so happy its a girl"!

fortyplus · 24/11/2007 23:38

I went for foetal neuchal screening at 11 weeks. The operator said he was not allowed to tell me the sex of the baby but said that he would 'take a guess'. He pointed out the relevant bits on the scan and guessed it would be a boy, which it was.

DrSpeckschwarteSurprise · 25/11/2007 00:00

Thanks mumofk for the information. Good to hear the expert's opinion.

Sweetbeen
Sorry, but I do think that you overreacted to this thread. I have been in the situation that NorthernLurker described, after 2 m/c it was more important to me that I could see the little heart beating that what sex the baby was.

I know I posted before about wanting to know the sex of the baby (and I apologise for the cheap shot at sonographers). tbh, seeing the baboom baboom baboom was the most important thing, the rest was a bonus.

How was your scan, Sweetbean. Everything ok? Were you able to see much?

morocco · 25/11/2007 20:37

at this thread!

bad over reaction sweetbean

Twinklemegan · 25/11/2007 20:48

I'm sure Sweetbean is really pleased (not) that Mumsnet saw fit to put a link to this thread on the front page! It's easy to overreact on here, especially with hormones flying about (not being patronising btw, but I remember what it was like).

I for one was terrified at both my scans. The first one I was convinced they were going to tell me it was a huge mistake and there was no baby at all! The second one I really was much more worried about abnormalities than the sex. Having said that, DH and I agonised over whether to find out or not, and that did take our minds off the real reason for the scan which was probably a good thing. As it turns out, we finally decided to ask about the sex and then promptly forgot! The sonographer said afterwards she certainly could have told us if we had asked at the time, which I suppose was a big clue towards it being a boy. But the surprise on the day of his birth was the best thing in the world so I'm glad we didn't know before.

Hope you're OK Sweetbean.

Hideehi · 26/11/2007 21:28

They got it wrong with me twice, I wouldn't bother asking again.

SazzaK · 27/11/2007 14:08

Haven't read all the posts but know someone who was told at 14 weeks it was most likely a girl and it was. Apparently they can tell from the position of the tubes/way they point but obviously it is easier at 20 weeks. This was a consultant though giving a private scan.

disneystar · 04/12/2007 10:54

just something i have learned recently i am expecting my 7th baby and am 2 months pg i am going to have private scans this time only cos they missed something very vital last 3 times and id rather them have found the problem rather than the sex but my genetic condition only runs in boys so i am going to a privare clinic in london its costs £130 for the sexing scan which is supposed to be totally accurate and £120 for consultation afterwards they can do this at 13 weeks has anyone else had this type of scan at all?

goingfor3christmaspuddings · 04/12/2007 10:56

disneystar no one can guarentee 100% from a scan what the sex will be. I know someone who was told at 20 and 28 weeks she was having a boy and she had a girl. The only way to find out 100% is to have genetic testing taken from the amniotic fluid.

disneystar · 04/12/2007 14:15

thank you for your last post i didnt realise there was another test to determine the sex its vital that we know for the unborn babies sake cant afford for nhs to make any more
mistakes

minnieman · 23/02/2010 21:04

Even private scans can get the sex wrong they are not miracle workers especially at 14 weeks it is very difficult to see clearly.

xxkt1xx · 23/02/2010 21:21

sorry if TMI but i was told the female parts look like a burger in a bun (sorry) but im not sure
i found out sex at 17 weeks with DS1...have a listen to heartbeat ...if a boy it sounds like a train and for a girl it sounds like a galloping horse...this isnt proven but i have been right on my 3 and also baby 4 on the way too xx

Lulumaam · 23/02/2010 21:23

disneystar, i should think you would be entitled to an amniocentesis on the NHS if you have a serious congentital issue.

i would speak to your MW or GP urgently before you pay money for a private scan, especially one that could well be of little or no use to you

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