Will you let people hold your newborn?

[sarah13xx]

As it says really.. due to covid (and the fact people are sometimes careful about newborns anyway) will you still let people hold them? Will it be inside/outside visits etc? I’m due this summer and don’t know what to do! Waiting to see if cases go up or down before he’s here and I’m definitely going to let the grandparents etc hold him but don’t know about every friend that comes round. Considering sitting outside with them.

Not restricting to outside visits.
Family and close friends will be allowed a cuddle.

I will but most people wanting a hold will have been vaccinated by then.

I've always taken a fairly relaxed approach to both my newborns (was always happy to let others cuddle the first 2) plus covid (no one I know has ever tested positive). Both of these things seem quite unusual on MN though.

Yes I did. Baby born late May at the height of it. Not in Uk so it was ‘allowed’.

I just kept to the few same people. All those are retired or worked from home so just as much ‘contact’ with others as we had ie not much bar basic supermarket etc

We usually only see people at weekend and one couple per weekend so limited contact and time in between in case anyone had symptoms.

He’s now 1. Again, we see the same ish people, mainly outside but odd inside. He’s running about now in between people so no chance of social distancing but again if we see people it’s one couple at a time.

I'm struggling with this to be honest.

Not due until December so plenty of time for things to change. Happy with most people who are safe except OH's parents and sibling. One of his parents has already had Covid despite shielding and the sibling is "one of those" who uses a sunflower lanyard as an excuse to not wear a mask (she does not have any hidden disability but is simply morbidly obese and leads an extremely unhealthy lifestyle). I expect they simply don't like wearing one. Shocking given all the shopping responsibilities are theirs and the parents are gravely ill.

I hope cases could be so low that it's not a risk but quite frankly I can't see it going away any time soon. It will certainly be extremely difficult not allowing some people visits/holds of baby due to their lifestyle/choices and they won't understand and just see it as excluding them 😞

Yes, definitely. I want the people I am close to to form strong bonds with my baby early on. Plus I want a break!
The risk isn't high for babies, and most people will have been vaccinated by then anyway. Also, are you likely to be offered at least the first vaccine before birth? If yes, they think that the baby will get some protection from your antibodies, so should be protected to some extent from that.

I'm not sure what to do about this, baby is due at the end of summer. There are people who I know are very careful and I wouldn't mind holding them, but then others I know aren't and don't particularly want to hold them if numbers aren't low at the time. Unfortunately both are close family so very difficult in terms of being fair and not upsetting anyone.

Will be letting family have a hold - mandatory hand washing on entry but that's about it

Yes absolutely. How many newborns have been sick with covid?

Yep my baby is due in November and I feel they need to get used to people and form bonds.

yes, but if you don't feel comfortable with it then make it clear.
it's your (and partner's) baby so it's 100% your decision.
do not let anyone manipulate you. be clear, be firm.

handwashing is the absolute minimum, outside is a good idea, they can wear a mask.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba yes this is true, I thought if it was nice weather it’s really not any hassle to sit outside for visits. I’m in an area where there’s still quite high cases and I’m being really careful purely due to being pregnant and not having been vaccinated but I don’t want him to miss out on things either!

@KHR1 I know, this is the hard part. I feel that I can’t say no to my/his parents and our brothers/sisters so I’m fine with that but it’s when you start thinking of all the people every friend has been in contact with that it really adds up and they say babies don’t have much of an immune system the first 2 months. Although I haven’t heard of any seriously ill babies with covid at least!

@FeistySheep I don’t think I will be before he’s here and due to working at home after 28 weeks I feel I can be safe enough before he’s born so I will just have it after hopefully

@ApplePie86 oh no 🤦🏼‍♀️ I don’t blame you. I’m not great at standing up to people anyway and when we’ve been to see friends babies during covid we’ve just sat in their garden and had a look in the pram. I certainly would never have asked to hold them but I know a lot of people will 😕 I don’t mind so much when he’s a few months old but I’m just worrying about his lack of immune system at first with so many different people holding him

It's hard enough to have a baby (especially first one) and trying your best to please people.
I wish I had just one person telling me before DS1 that

• I absolutely don't have to please a single soul
• if I don't want visitors I can refuse to have them.
• I can cancel stuff (even last minute!) if I suddenly feel too tired/ill/weak to be sociable
• I don't have to cook, make cups of tea or entertain anyone
• I don't have to reschedule whatever routine I managed up to that point to suit others
• I don't have to do a fucking thing apart from caring for baby and recovering!!!
• I don't have to feel guilty about anything.

so hear all of the above from me.
you are not a circus act.
if you want to say no then say no.
you can't control what others feel, if they can't be supportive it's their problem!

And until babies had their 3 sets of immunisations they are possibly more at risk (I'd check with a medical professional tbh) so you are right to be cautious.

I'm due in a few weeks and bar the vaccinated members of the family, I won't be allowing anyone to hold the baby. Even then it'll be masks on & mandatory hand washing. This is all very new territory for everyone and I'm going to be very, very careful.

And woe betide anyone who has an issue with that, I'll have no issue telling them straight. Our baby, our rules.

My 1 rule is no holding baby if you have been smoking recently or you have a cup of tea/coffee in your hands.

It difficult decision. Perhaps ask them to do a lateral flow test before visiting. They are readily available, easy, and it is what my friends and I do before meeting up. Not perfect, but very unlikely to be infectious that day if negative, and hopefully everyone is willing to take that extra step to help protect each other.

There are cases of young children being quite ill with covid, but it is rare and the articles I've seen have been about cases in Brazil being quite bad, but other factors sadly such as poverty are likely involved.

Then as other have said being outdoors, or in very well ventilated rooms will help.

My friend has asked that we do a lateral flow test before coming to see her and her little one which I'm more than happy to do and will likely ask the same when mine comes along!

Had DS1 June 2020, will be having DS2 September 2021:

Letting people hug, bond, help with the baby is far more important that the absolute minuscule risk that firstly they’ll even catch the virus in the first place and secondly that it would be so bad they’d die from it if they did catch it.

As tragic as the outcome is, 7 babies have died in the U.K. from covid up between March 20 and Feb 21, to put that in perspective 200 babies die every year from SIDS which whilst you can lower the chances it’s still an unknown cause of death.

Or 1883 babies/children died in car accidents in 2018 but we still almost invariably drive them home from hospital.

There’s no right or wrong answer just what you are comfortable with but please be kind to yourself when thinking of what to do, it’s such a tough time and there is no need to make it harder by going it alone ❤️.

www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(21)00066-3/fulltext

www.nhs.uk/conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids/

lginform.local.gov.uk/reports/lgastandard?mod-metric=305&mod-area=E92000001&mod-group=AllRegions_England&mod-type=namedComparisonGroup

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

It's hard enough to have a baby (especially first one) and trying your best to please people. I wish I had just one person telling me before DS1 that

• I absolutely don't have to please a single soul
• if I don't want visitors I can refuse to have them.
• I can cancel stuff (even last minute!) if I suddenly feel too tired/ill/weak to be sociable
• I don't have to cook, make cups of tea or entertain anyone
• I don't have to reschedule whatever routine I managed up to that point to suit others
• I don't have to do a fucking thing apart from caring for baby and recovering!!!
• I don't have to feel guilty about anything.

so hear all of the above from me.
you are not a circus act.
if you want to say no then say no.
you can't control what others feel, if they can't be supportive it's their problem!

And until babies had their 3 sets of immunisations they are possibly more at risk (I'd check with a medical professional tbh) so you are right to be cautious.

And all of this in spades.

Unless they’re coming to hold DC and hoover at the same time so you can lie in the bath in silence. Then if accept the visitor.

[quote FTEngineerM]Had DS1 June 2020, will be having DS2 September 2021:

Letting people hug, bond, help with the baby is far more important that the absolute minuscule risk that firstly they’ll even catch the virus in the first place and secondly that it would be so bad they’d die from it if they did catch it.

As tragic as the outcome is, 7 babies have died in the U.K. from covid up between March 20 and Feb 21, to put that in perspective 200 babies die every year from SIDS which whilst you can lower the chances it’s still an unknown cause of death.

Or 1883 babies/children died in car accidents in 2018 but we still almost invariably drive them home from hospital.

There’s no right or wrong answer just what you are comfortable with but please be kind to yourself when thinking of what to do, it’s such a tough time and there is no need to make it harder by going it alone ❤️.

www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(21)00066-3/fulltext

www.nhs.uk/conditions/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids/

lginform.local.gov.uk/reports/lgastandard?mod-metric=305&mod-area=E92000001&mod-group=AllRegions_England&mod-type=namedComparisonGroup[/quote]
Very excellent and sensible information/ advice ❤️

Also just to mention if you are vaccinated when pregnant latest research says that the baby will benefit from/ develop the antibodies, and they can be passed through breast milk.

There are many other viruses that people carry that give the adult mild or no symptoms and can cause serious illness in babies, RSV, adenovirus, enterovirus, parainfluenza etc so I wouldn't be offering my newborn for cuddles regardless of covid, as others have said they have very primitive immune systems and a first cuddle will still be special at 6-8 weeks.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba this is so true 👏🏼 I’m so wary of going to visit other people’s babies too soon after birth. My friend had her baby recently and other than congratulating them I haven’t messaged because I can just imagine how awful it is for the phone to go every 2 minutes with another person thinking you want them trailing round your house to hold your baby when you’re still recovering 🤦🏼‍♀️ Just wish everyone took the same viewpoint on it but a lot of people just think they should rush in as quick as they can. My other friend said people have even come to their house and not only asked to hold the baby but asked to feed her too 🙈 I’m going to need to start being good at saying no to people I think!