Page 2 | Will you let people hold your newborn?

sarah13xx · 2021-06-02T08:16:37+00:00

As it says really.. due to covid (and the fact people are sometimes careful about newborns anyway) will you still let people hold them? Will it be inside/outside visits etc? I’m due this summer and don’t know what to do! Waiting to see if cases go up or down before he’s here and I’m definitely going to let the grandparents etc hold him but don’t know about every friend that comes round. Considering sitting outside with them.

WhatsGoingOnHereThen · 03/06/2021 07:19

I think you have to do what suits you.

I take a great amount of pleasure and joy from others holding my newborns (plus I have 2 others to see to) so I'll be allowing cuddles unless someone is visibly unwell. I can't imagine having close family over to see the baby and not letting them have a cuddle, but that's just me. Plus my family guests will be quite helpful and not expect to be looked after. If you're not comfortable with that it's OK.

strawberrydonuts · 03/06/2021 07:32

My friend is pregnant and I am sooo excited to meet the baby who is due in July. However they are having 3 months before non-family visitors are allowed (my friend is a highly qualified medical professional).

I think this is completely fair enough - especially given the Covid situation!

Family will also have to take lateral flow tests before visiting. You coudl always do that if you are worried (I think it's a good idea anyway when visiting people even without newborns).

WhatsGoingOnHereThen · 03/06/2021 07:40

However they are having 3 months before non-family visitors are allowed (my friend is a highly qualified medical professional)

Wow. I see that as quite OTT. After more than a year of being cut off from friends and loved ones there's no way I'd voluntarily impose that rule. It also feels a bit arbitrary to me unless they have a specific reason for the 3 months. To be honest I found visitors easier in the very early weeks as baby is tiny/asleep/very little is expected of the new parents. People don't tend to stay for long with a tiny baby. Obviously if that's their choice that's fine.

Mummyof2Terrors · 03/06/2021 07:42

@WhatsGoingOnHereThen

However they are having 3 months before non-family visitors are allowed (my friend is a highly qualified medical professional)

Wow. I see that as quite OTT. After more than a year of being cut off from friends and loved ones there's no way I'd voluntarily impose that rule. It also feels a bit arbitrary to me unless they have a specific reason for the 3 months. To be honest I found visitors easier in the very early weeks as baby is tiny/asleep/very little is expected of the new parents. People don't tend to stay for long with a tiny baby. Obviously if that's their choice that's fine.

My friends and family clearly didn't get the memo then, sat in the house for hours upon hours expecting half drinks and prodding my newborn because they aren't awake. #2 arrives in the next 4 weeks and I'm tightly regulating the time allowed. Lots of people have no boundaries when it comes to tiny babies.

Helloitsmi · 03/06/2021 08:08

We had an outside walk a week after birth but no holding.
And i think it was 3 weeks after we went to visit DH s parents and his mum and grandma held her.
We asked to wash hands before and no kisses 😬
My sister and brother also held her at that time.

I was also stressed out about it before giving birth but we visited when we were ready and it happened naturally. .

My advice is only allow what you are comfortable with. Even if it upsets someone.

supersonicginandtonic · 03/06/2021 08:10

My baby is 9 weeks old. Never entered my mind not to let people hold her and we've had visitors both indoors and outdoors.

Caspianberg · 03/06/2021 08:12

I think most people have been very good tbh this last year. Nobody has attempted to touch or pick up baby unless we said it was ok.

andivfmakes3 · 03/06/2021 08:13

Yes of course. Covid is going to be around for years to come - do you plan on never letting anyone hold your child?

Thisisus909 · 03/06/2021 08:15

I just wanted to say that my friend just had a baby and she offered me a cuddle. Totally lovely to meet her baby and cuddle: But had she preferred me not to, I would have totally understood and respected that. Don’t push yourself to do something that makes you worried. That really goes for anything about your baby. Just do what feels right to you.

SaturdayMood · 03/06/2021 08:27

I did. Immediate grandparents were round the second we were discharged. I didn't want them or baby to miss out for what is a very small risk. A friend on the other hand still hasn't let anyone hold her baby except her and baby's dad, visitors only at a distance outside. Baby is now 7 months old. She has become obsessed with washing anything that touches anything else and it has completely destroyed her mental health. It's so sad.

Bizawit · 03/06/2021 09:20

Reading all these responses with so much interest. Just out of curiosity was this type of thing (restricting visitors/ holding a newborn etc) the norm before covid, or did it start with covid?

WhatsGoingOnHereThen · 03/06/2021 09:26

Me experience is that it's always been a bit of a thing on MN. I've only known one person in real life who was like this pre-covid. I expect covid has increased it a lot for people who wouldn't otherwise have minded.

I am giving birth in Autumn and would love the grandparents to be able to visit the hospital the next day. Probably not possible but I found it extremely useful last two times as they came in, got a cuddle, left at the end of visiting hour, and there was no expectation on me to do anything except lie on the bed. It was brilliant!

Luckystar1 · 03/06/2021 09:29

I had DC3 in Sept 2020. I have 2 children at school. Within 2 days of the baby’s birth one bubble burst, shortly followed by the other. Given that we were basically surrounded by Covid, I did allow people to hold the baby.

In the midst of all of this awfulness it was just lovely.

But then I also let randomers talk to us, coo at him, strike his face/hand etc, so maybe I’m an awful mother, but he’s very happy, healthy and social, so I think I’m doing ok!

Luckystar1 · 03/06/2021 09:29

Woah stroke not strike 😬

GiveTheGirlAGun · 03/06/2021 09:35

I think as per pre covid, use your own judgement. I never ask to cuddle a baby after I did once and was told 'he's a bit tired' then 2 mins later saw someone elae holding the baby. I was a bit sad, but realised it is not anyone's divine right to hold a baby.
I don't think loads of people will ask considering the times.

TH22 · 03/06/2021 09:36

Mine was born in March and I had no issue with people holding my little one. The benefit far outweighed the risk in my opinion

VoyageInTheDark · 03/06/2021 09:49

I'm currently overdue with DD2 and will be letting people hold the baby if they want. Most people I know have had at least one vaccination, all grandparents have had two.

If someone didn't want me to hold their newborn though I would understand, you should be able to do what you're comfortable with

misselphaba · 03/06/2021 10:10

Even before Covid, the issue of whether it was OK to say no to visitors after the birth of a newborn was a frequent topic around here.

I think in a lot of cases, Covid has given people an excuse to say no to people coming round or holding the baby and feel OK about it. That's fine. If people don't want others' holding their baby, they can say no regardless of Covid.

I had a baby last year, when so much was unknown. People were very considerate and no one expected anything. I was OK with people holding the baby. The risks are small and I'm able to tolerate a small element of risk without getting anxious. Everyone's calculation of this will be different but for me the benefits of my family being allowed to meet their new family member properly outweighed the small risk of him becoming seriously unwell from Covid. Having a newborn is always a worrying time.

applespearslemons · 03/06/2021 13:04

Yes, let the baby get used to people

Newborns are not getting covid

More likely to get colds and stuff from others

Peach01 · 03/06/2021 15:15

We've decided no holding and only immediate family for visiting. I found visitors taxing last time, some wouldn't leave & people still tried to kiss the baby even if they were told not to. Doing it on our terms this time and making it as easy as possible.

SillyBry · 03/06/2021 15:26

I'll be totally honest... my husband is a school teacher. My daughter will be starting primary school.
If anyone is bringing Covid into the house, it will be them rather than our close family and friends, who are retired/mostly work from home etc.

NinaMimi · 03/06/2021 16:02

I’m more paranoid about people hurting baby through handling them roughly or dropping them than through covid.

So I’m going to make sure everyone is sitting down. All will be vaccinated anyway apart from me and baby.