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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

3 month old overnight with babysitter?

60 replies

legovsfoot · 31/05/2021 09:13

Hi all, I'm almost due with LO and have been invited to an event when he will be 3 months old.

It's a bit of a drive so we're getting a hotel room overnight.

In your opinion is this too young to be left overnight with a babysitter? Would a babysitter take a baby this young? (Family not an option)

Thank you

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Superfoodie123 · 31/05/2021 22:15

No, not a good idea at all

WentAboutMyDay · 31/05/2021 22:22

I would not... too young.

Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 31/05/2021 22:23

Not unless it was a matter of extreme importance where there was no other option.

3 months is so young and if you’ve an ebf baby who won’t take a bottle then it won’t be possible anyway. Until 6 months, the NHS recommends over and over that, ‘The safest place for your baby to sleep is on their back, in a cot in a room with you’. So if I absolutely needed to be away, I’d use a night nanny and not a babysitter.

BertieBotts · 31/05/2021 22:34

It is extremely unlikely you'll feel comfortable to leave your baby overnight with a stranger at that age. Even with loving and trustworthy grandparents involved most people don't want to. The only people I do know who have done this around this age have left them with very close family members so people they know and trust extremely well.

Also if you are breastfeeding it would be very uncomfortable for you - you'll need to pump a lot. It's also prime age for babies to just randomly stop taking a bottle, which would be incredibly stressful!

hilarymantlepiece · 31/05/2021 22:36

Why can’t you take them?

Muststopeating · 31/05/2021 22:37

I left DD1 at 10 weeks for a wedding. But it was only a few miles away, she was with MIL (who is fantastic and looks after children for a living) and we came back to her that night.

I was EBF so took a lot of work pumping, especially as had to use some milk to practice the bottle several times before hand (don't plan to just leave them with a bottle that night if breastfeeding and hasn't been tried and tested, it almost certainly won't work). I had to pump, so if BFing you need to make provision for that. And I was in tears just after the meal cos I NEEDED to get back to my baby!

I left DS2 at 3.5 months for 2 nights. Should have been with DH but he got called away unexpectedly with work so my mum took him. I pumped 72oz of milk for those 2 nights and he guzzled the lot and she had to rush out to buy formula! But he was absolutely fine, it was a great bonding experience for my mum who loved the one on one time and I didn't cry at all this time! (Though again, much pumping was required).

We have a wedding that I'd like to go to 2 months after DC3 is due. It will involve leaving her and travelling a few hours away and an overnight stay. Even though this is my 3rd there is still no way I can commit now. I don't know how she'll feed, how she'll settle with others, etc etc. So my RSVP will be an explanation with a 'completely understand if you need a definitive answer now, in which case it will be a thanks but no thanks, but if you have flex then we'd love to come so can we wait and see'.

Long and short... you have no way of knowing yet. Also, I am very fortunate to have family to help. A stranger is a different thing and I don't think I could leave any of my kids, even now, with a stranger overnight if they hadn't spent some time with them before. So I would very strongly recommend finding the person you want and 'testing' them out first and checking how they get on with your baby, how well they can settle them etc. Could get expensive fast.

LST · 01/06/2021 08:42

I left dc1 overnight at 8 weeks. But that was with grandparents. I dont think I could leave them overnight even now with a stranger and they're 9 & 7

SemiFeralDalek · 01/06/2021 09:46

I couldn't have done it. Definitely not with a stranger.

My auntie minded my cousins baby overnight from about 6 weeks old and everyone was fine. Its not the end of the world leaving them, but don't underestimate the hormonal pull.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 01/06/2021 10:36

@FTEngineerM

I don’t think it’s a prob for the baby at all.

I tried a night away at 4 months but I ended up crying at 11pm walking out of the hotel and MIL picked me up and took me back to hers (where DC was). I think it’s a major case of pfb though because eh was legit fine, I pumped enough to feed him for a few days and he always took a bottle ok.

It's not pfb, it's perfectly normal and healthy attachment behaviour from you. Mums are programmed to want to be close to little babies. That doesn't mean we can't get over that and be away from them but the fact of missing them is a positive not a failing of some kind.
Laura0000 · 01/06/2021 10:40

Could you not take baby with you and have your partner (if you have one) stay with them in the hotel room nearby, and you pop in and out?

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