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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Should I give up breast feeding?

67 replies

toni2890 · 27/05/2021 20:49

My little one is 10 days old. I have been exclusively breastfeeding but feel like this is causing me to miss out on time with my 2 year old daughter.
I can’t play with her as often as I’m the only one that can feed baby.

OP posts:
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lavenderandwisteria · 28/05/2021 18:15

I said it was a pain in the arse, to be fair.

For me it isn’t just the sterilising and so on. I see breastfeeding friends able to comfort and soothe fractious babies with breastfeeding. I can’t do that.

DinoHat · 28/05/2021 18:20

Nobody is trying to put the OP off, they are just offering advice with consideration to the OP, not generally.

Either feeding choice is totally valid - that doesn’t mean both don’t have their pros and cons, PP are just applying those to the particular circumstances here. Which is what OP has asked for.

carolcarolcarrot · 28/05/2021 18:30

Why don't you try some combi feeding so your partner can have some time with the baby.
Try just one feed a day as see how it goes. (I'm not going to recommend pumping because it's a total faff.)

Breast feeding in the long run is easier for convenience (and cost & all the other benefits). But I loved combi feeding as it offered the best of both worlds!

carolcarolcarrot · 28/05/2021 18:33

@wednesadaayaddams

* No, what I'm struggling with is everyone pretending that FF is a huge massive time consuming faff when it's just a matter of adding a jar of formula to the weekly shop, making up the odd bottle, taking 5 minutes to wash and sterilise them and then 10 minutes to feed the baby. Yes just putting baby on the breast is easier than preparing a bottle but OP already knows that the baby will be on and off the breast cluster feeding for much much longer than it takes to feed them a bottle and continue with her day. It's all bollocks really. The same people will be on another thread advising someone else to spend days in bed doing skin to skin as if that isn't more time consuming than taking the couple of minutes it takes to make up a bottle. Ridiculous. Breastfeeding is great for many reasons but don't pretend bottle feeding is a massive faff just to put people off doing it.*

This ^^^

Honestly though, I found it a massive faff! It's not just a couple of bottles at this stage either. Full time bottle feeding is pretty relentless. All the washing and sterilising and waiting for water to cool (if you don't have a fancy machine to do it for you).

It's a valid point that breastfeeding in the long run is quicker and easier for most (once it's established).

Somethingsnappy · 28/05/2021 18:48

I think in the early weeks, breastfeeding is more time consuming than Formula feeding for some women (because of cluster feeding etc) . But after the 4th trimester period, when babies get much more quick and efficient at feeding and the gap between feeds widens, breastfeeding becomes so super easy and then the situation reverses.

cobblesandwobbles · 28/05/2021 18:49

I have a 3 year old (just turned end of April) and I've got a 4 week old baby.

I breastfed my dd until I gave birth lmao so it was a easy change...

I never entertained formula with my first.. but now he's most formula fed with breast at night. I do find it less intense than those first 6 weeks with my dd.

I agree with pp about time consuming though, it's so much faff making bottles while he's hungry that I've ended up spending a fortune on ready made formula and it's easier to pull out the breast out and actually when playing with dd Breastfeeding is so much easier! So I'm kicking myself as my supply has gone right down!

But the benefits? He sleeps much more consolidated sleep than my first and seems more content!

FTEngineerM · 28/05/2021 20:04

@Definately I’m not pretending that FF is a massive time consuming faff. I have BF and FF the same child for the same length of time almost each, I said that I don’t find it minimal effort and I find it a faff. Nowhere did I say breastfeeding is quicker, and I don’t then go on to tell breastfeeding mothers to lie in bed all day having skin on skin. I don’t know why you’ve got a massive chip on your shoulder about someone finding FF a faff? I do it every day, I’ve just actually sat down from cleaning the days bottles. ITS A FAFF.

Maybe I’ll get my point across more efficiently if I say I find it an additional mental load(?). There is always something to think about; have we got any/enough formula, have we got bottles clean, what size teat is on these bottles I just washed, have they been sterilised yet, have you packed the milk, have you packed the bottles, have you packed the boiled water, have you packed the cold water, how long are we going to be will he need a feed in that time.

There are so so so many things that you have to think about, extra, than you don’t need to think about when BFing.

And for the cleaning point, we’re all describing the same thing: whether you chuck them in a bowl of soapy water or not, all of those 7 parts per bottle need cleaning, every use.

I would much rather be sat on my arse with a series/book/assignment/chat with friend than at the sink cleaning/sterilising/buying/packing those frigging bottles.

All new mums have enough to think about, absolutely nobody cares how anyone feeds their kid.

FTEngineerM · 28/05/2021 20:06

He sleeps much more consolidated sleep than my first and seems more content!

That’s was an immediate difference I noticed too @cobblesandwobbles it was like a dream come true after all of the sleepless nights we’d had 😍

Cleverpolly3 · 28/05/2021 20:16

As others have said once you’ve passed about three months breastfeeding is so much easier
I had three children under 4 and one of them still breastfed one was a newborn . I just always had drinks and a potty / wipes , books, colouring in things or some interesting toys to hand, nice snacks snd a bit of CBeebies or Thomas and we were sorted. We still had special time together when I was feeding his brother and sister

Char123x · 29/05/2021 03:50

I have just gone through this... my little boy is 4 weeks and has been ebf.... but we came to the difficult decision to start topping up as he has been cluster feeding from day 1, hasn't put on a huge amount of weight, very gassy/windy, not pooing, sleep has been minimal and been getting worse... I've been desperately trying to express and barely getting anything so no one is able to help, but the main reason was the look on my toddlers face yesterday after the baby started screaming for the 100th time to be bf again and it broke my heart.... I was in bits, it's started to really affect the relationship with my eldest but also my mental health. But we also have the added complication of food allergies, my eldest has severe allergies so by introducing formula we have to be even more careful... it has been a really tough decision.

So, after my husband took control and after a lot of tears were now combi feeding - and I don't know why I feel so guilty.... after my husband gave my son a formula bottle last night he settled, slept and was calm for 3 hours, it meant I could have a bath, pump and have a break from the month of relentless cluster feeding, and im unsure why combi feeding is less supported for struggling bf mums......washing/sterilising bottles takes 5/10 mins but other people can also do this for you as well, plus it's only one or two a day or every day or two. And it means I can finally be able to have some 1-1 time with my toddler. I think it's the right decision for our family and myself.

Good luck is whatever you're decide, there is soooo much pressure and judgement out there, so many opinions and so much guilt tripping.... breastfeeding is fantastic for some, formula feeding is fantastic for others, and combi feeding is a great alternative for those that want a bit of both, I hope it worlds out for us and for you! X

Ameteurmum · 29/05/2021 09:32

Do what you want to do and what suits you and your family the most and fuck what anyone else says

Char123x · 29/05/2021 21:33

@Ameteurmum

Do what you want to do and what suits you and your family the most and fuck what anyone else says
🙌🏼🙌🏼
toni2890 · 29/05/2021 21:48

Thank you all.
Going to try adding in some formula feeds see how I feel in few days.

OP posts:
Mazzatron · 02/06/2021 15:39

Wow I could have written this post. It's such an emotional subject. My youngest is 3.5 weeks and feeds every hour sometimes more, day and night. He's very gassy also and my latch is not good despite his tongue tie being snipped and my trying to tweak it and make it better.

My eldest is 2.5 and we don't have any childcare or support near by. It's been really hard to care for him whilst constantly trying to feed efficiently. I can totally relate the the guilt and it's not easily managed by Cbeebies etc all day every day. Maybe for a few days but we are further along and my son is bored which makes his behaviour quite challenging at times.

Yesterday I started pumping and giving him expressed milk in a bottle along with some BF and I also gave him one bottle of formula. I feel relieved to have made the decision and I feel less stressed already. I find washing and sterilising takes 5-10 mins but some feeding sessions were taking up to 50 mins and then he wanted to start again.

I'm not sure where we are going from here exactly but we'll figure it out one day at a time and see what's best for all of us. I know my baby son will be fed and loved whatever.

Good luck, I know how hard it it. just do what you want and don't try to please anyone else xxx

Mazzatron · 02/06/2021 16:02

Furthermore just to say once you have made a decision and taken action I think you'll instantly feel a bit better emotionally. And also it's NOT a "silly reason" to stop BF if it's causing you stress and upset. Post partum is a vulnerable time emotionally.

toni2890 · 11/08/2021 13:58

A little update for those that are interested …. My baby boy is 12 weeks old now and I am still breastfeeding.
So glad I continued. I actually find it much easier when playing with my two year old to feed instantly than need to get us all downstairs to make a bottle. Also just easier to not need to think about taking formula and bottles etc when leaving the house.

OP posts:
SillyBry · 11/08/2021 14:20

@toni2890 Amazing work! Well done you!
I hated the first 6-8 weeks of breastfeeding last time... told myself I just had to get through them... but actually, once I did, it was all so much easier and we made it to a year!

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