Should I give up breast feeding?

[toni2890]

My little one is 10 days old. I have been exclusively breastfeeding but feel like this is causing me to miss out on time with my 2 year old daughter.
I can’t play with her as often as I’m the only one that can feed baby.

I dreamt of giving up breastfeeding my first in the first 3 weeks. I literally fantasised about buying formula... all that stopped me was the fact I hadn't got the first clue how to make it up and a slight bloody-mindedness that I didn't want to be defeated.
It hurt SO much. It felt never ending.
My mother in law said "make it to 6 weeks and make a decision", so Idid that... and suddenly, I could express one feed a day, she dropped another feed, my nipples healed and it was so easy. I fed exclusively for a year before weaning and I'm glad I did. I enjoyed the time - mostly - and loved the lack of faff. But expressing is really what got me through!

Breastfeeding takes longer to establish at the beginning with the cluster feeding , never knowing when your LO is full etc- but after a couple of months it’s easier to whip out a boob in a park than make up formula- there’s pros and cons to both in terms of time

@Definately it’s not ‘just washing a few bottles’ though is it.. ours come apart into 6 pieces. Well actually 7 now we’ve bought handles for him to hold himself. That’s 3 x 7 = 21 intricate parts that need to be separated cleaned sterilised and reassembled every day. I dread the thought of when they’re younger and it’s 5-7 bottles a day!!!

You should do what you want and not be guilted one way or the other. With ready made formula, perfect prep machines, steam sterilisers I don't understand how people think it takes so long to formula feed. It takes 5 mins to clean and stick sterilser on for the whole day. Open carton ready made formula, (mine never wanted heated) done. Cost, health benefits etc are a whole other discussion but really dont agree takes such a long time.

[quote FTEngineerM]@Definately it’s not ‘just washing a few bottles’ though is it.. ours come apart into 6 pieces. Well actually 7 now we’ve bought handles for him to hold himself. That’s 3 x 7 = 21 intricate parts that need to be separated cleaned sterilised and reassembled every day. I dread the thought of when they’re younger and it’s 5-7 bottles a day!!![/quote]
It is just washing a few bottles. Fill a sink with soapy water, pop out all the parts, clean with a brush, rinse and put in the steriliser. I really do not get why people are acting like it's a really time consuming chore.

I find it a complete and utter pain in the arse and I hate it. I hate ensuring I have bottles and ready made milk, I hate it when milk leaks and makes my changing bag stink and I hate making bottles with a hungry ds on my shoulder.

@Definately no one is saying it’s a time consuming chore. It IS more consuming than breastfeeding though. That’s the point I think you are struggling with.

@Definately no ones saying it's a huge time consuming chore, but it is more time consuming that breast feeding

Ff

Get bottle
Unscrew lid
Open formula bottle (if using ready made)
Pour into bottle
Screw on lid
Check temperature
Warm if needed
Feed baby
Unscrew lid
Empty dregs
Wash
Put in steriliser

Breastfeeding

Unhook bra
Undo top
Pick baby up
Feed
Put baby down
Do up top

It’s fine for us to disagree on whether the extra washing is an irritant or not @Definately, I do find cleaning multiple bottles annoying in comparison to sitting on the sofa with a book or series whilst DS just fed. I suppose that’s the comparison I found.

I found new parenthood a wave of extra domestic tasks as it was ☹️

I did give up at 6 days and one of the reasons was a lot of mum guilt towards my toddler and complete lack of supply.

I think my case was slightly different as I had 48 hours of cluster feeding and still only producing colostrum. I was feeding continually and my toddler looked so upset each time he saw baby being fed.

We moved to formula. There is little effort prepping bottles or washing (compared to cluster feeding) and if my baby is taking a bottle - I don't stop and my toddler still has to wait for what he wants etc.

At the end of the day though - you must do what you need to do to cope - no one can telll you what is right or wrong. You do what is best for your family

You don't need permission, it's totally your choice.

Personally I don't find formula feeding a faff or hugely time consuming.

We had a perfect prep machine that made bottles up to the right temperature very quickly. The bottles were washed with the general washing up and put in the electric steamer steriliser by the sink once washed

Anyway it wouldn't be the solution to all your difficulties, you'd still need to change and settle the baby and deal with crying/lots of rocking and cuddling if unsettled etc, so changing to formula won't necessarily make a huge difference to time with your eldest.

However night feeding could be shared, you could leave the baby with someone to take your eldest out alone, that kind of stuff would be easier. Just weigh up the pros and cons and see what you think will be best for you 💐

I’m not sure why the face

The perfect prep machine isn’t free (£80 at boots although you can get second hand of course. However I think some people don’t know they aren’t people now use ‘Perfect Prep machines’. We advise you against using one of these machines. This is because they deliver a small volume (‘shot’) of very hot water and then add cool water to make up the rest of the feed. This is not sufficient to kill the bacteria in formula milk. The Food Standards Agency recommends using cooled, boiled water above 70 degrees centigrade to make up infant formula recommended by the nhs although I do have one and use it, but it does slightly increase the risks associated with formula feeding.

Just shopping for and buying formula is a faff.

Whoops, I messed that up! Wish we had an edit button.

So this is what the nhs say

Some people now use ‘Perfect Prep machines’. We advise you against using one of these machines. This is because they deliver a small volume (‘shot’) of very hot water and then add cool water to make up the rest of the feed. This is not sufficient to kill the bacteria in formula milk. The Food Standards Agency recommends using cooled, boiled water above 70 degrees centigrade to make up infant formula

And here is the link!

The face is because so many people claim it to be such a faff and oh so time consuming.

It's not.
It's minimal.
For me it just blended in with other day to day house work.

Obviously the prep machine isn't free, but it is an option many people choose for convenience if they aren't breastfeeding.

It takes time. Therefore it is time consuming

I don’t think it is minimal, I do find it a faff.

Neither of us are wrong @wednesadaayaddams

Whatever the level of faff it is additional faff and thus additional time versus breastfeeding.

For me the additional faff for FF was well worth it to be able to hand over that faff for a couple of hours to someone else and allow me to take a bath, walk, night in peace. Everyone is different. What works for one doesn’t for another.

@Definately

How long are PP imagining it takes to wash and sterilise a few bottles takes like 5 minutes. Give up if you want OP it is entirely your choice.

It might only take five minutes, but if the OP is wanting to FF solely to get time back to spend with her DC1, I can't see how formula feeding will help unless the plan is for someone else to do some of the feeds. Otherwise she spends as much time prepping, giving the bottle and washing up as she would whipping a boob out.

There might well be other stuff going on for the OP that makes her want to FF, which is fine, but if it's JUST about getting more time with DC1 then switching to formula in and of itself isn't going to help. It may help if, for example, she is able to get her DH to do an evening feed while she does DC1 bedtime, or if she has a helpful set of GPs who will come round and "do" the baby for an afternoon. But swapping delivery from boobs to bottle of it's still Mum doing it all isn't really changing much.

I'd advise the OP to look into mixed/combi feeding. Many women find it's the best of both worlds - simplicity of breastfeeding (which once it's established IS simple) and also being able to hand the baby off for a bottle feed or two.

[quote Sideofnoreturn]@Definately no one is saying it’s a time consuming chore. It IS more consuming than breastfeeding though. That’s the point I think you are struggling with.[/quote]

No, what I'm struggling with is everyone pretending that FF is a huge massive time consuming faff when it's just a matter of adding a jar of formula to the weekly shop, making up the odd bottle, taking 5 minutes to wash and sterilise them and then 10 minutes to feed the baby. Yes just putting baby on the breast is easier than preparing a bottle but OP already knows that the baby will be on and off the breast cluster feeding for much much longer than it takes to feed them a bottle and continue with her day. It's all bollocks really. The same people will be on another thread advising someone else to spend days in bed doing skin to skin as if that isn't more time consuming than taking the couple of minutes it takes to make up a bottle. Ridiculous. Breastfeeding is great for many reasons but don't pretend bottle feeding is a massive faff just to put people off doing it.

Cluster feeding doesn't last forever. By 6 weeks you'll only get it during a growth spurt and even then less and less.

So yes, early days, ff can sometimes be 'quicker' in that you won't be stuck cluster feeding.

However, after that stage, breastfeeding per feed is quicker than making up a bottle and feeding it.

As others have said, if the only reason OP is thinking of formula is so she can spend more time to with DC1, it's unlikely to help her.

I bf my second when my first was 19 mo. I'm not sure how I managed it but dd1 certainly doesn't remember watching a fair bit of peppa!

How about adding one bottle of formula at your busy point in the day?

Ultimately, it's your choice. Bottles can be easy if you use ready made formula. I had a perfect prep machine with dd3 and it was amazing!! You'll soon get into a routine x

No, what I'm struggling with is everyone pretending that FF is a huge massive time consuming faff when it's just a matter of adding a jar of formula to the weekly shop, making up the odd bottle, taking 5 minutes to wash and sterilise them and then 10 minutes to feed the baby. Yes just putting baby on the breast is easier than preparing a bottle but OP already knows that the baby will be on and off the breast cluster feeding for much much longer than it takes to feed them a bottle and continue with her day. It's all bollocks really. The same people will be on another thread advising someone else to spend days in bed doing skin to skin as if that isn't more time consuming than taking the couple of minutes it takes to make up a bottle. Ridiculous. Breastfeeding is great for many reasons but don't pretend bottle feeding is a massive faff just to put people off doing it.*

This ^^^

@Definately literally no one on this thread has said that formula feeding is a “massive
time consuming faff”.

You’re attacking arguments that haven’t been made. Why?