Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

is this a weird request for childbirth

57 replies

FireWafer · 24/05/2021 12:53

I struggle with sensory overload and have ADD. I have been watching some birth vlogs online (mostly American) and one thing that strikes me most is that there always seem to be about 10 people in the room when the baby is born and they all seem to be yelling over the top of one another, push, you can do this. Whilst the partner is saying encouraging things too.
In my head that is too much noise! Will I be able to ask that they don't do that? It probably sounds ridiculous but it sends me into a panic and would make me really anxious if I had 2 or 3 people yelling stuff at me. DP already knows what I am like and I know he will be understanding of this but I am worried the midwives will think I am weird. I just need 1 person talking to me at a time.

OP posts:

Noshowlomo · 24/05/2021 12:56

My birth wasn't like this at all. 2 x midwives and my husband and no shouting at all. Just all nice and calm!

Onceuponatime1818 · 24/05/2021 12:57

I’ve had 1 midwife and OH for both births

Chelyanne · 24/05/2021 12:58

There tends to just be 1 midwife until the pushing stage unless there are factors that make you high risk.

AnxiousWreckAgain · 24/05/2021 12:58

I don’t think this happens over here. It’s usually one or two midwives and sometimes a consultant, or a HCA, but not 10 people.

KFleming · 24/05/2021 13:00

I had DH, plus two midwives. But only one was talking to me really, the other was sort of in the background. And no one was shouting at all. And I’m sure they’d have understood and listened if I’d requested quiet unless they needed to tell me something. There wasn’t really that much talking to be honest.

Sally872 · 24/05/2021 13:00

1 midwife and dh at my labour. Someone else came in to check once or twice but no shouting from anyone.

RizzleRazzle · 24/05/2021 13:00

I don't think it'll be like that, you only tend to have lots of medical professionals present if you're having a C-section. For my vaginal birth it was DP, the midwife and then the midwife assistant and anesthetist (who was about to give me an epidural but left when she realised baby was coming right then).

Midwife wasn't shouting just telling me how to push and that I could do it

PegPeople · 24/05/2021 13:03

The only time I've ever known there to be lots of bodies and some shouting is when something is going wrong and if that happens I very much doubt that you will be bothered about the amount of people trying to resolve the issues.

In most births there are 1 or 2 midwives in the room and your birthing partner. The midwives will be talking you through what to do but there certainly won't be lots of noise.

Ozanj · 24/05/2021 13:06

@FireWafer

I struggle with sensory overload and have ADD. I have been watching some birth vlogs online (mostly American) and one thing that strikes me most is that there always seem to be about 10 people in the room when the baby is born and they all seem to be yelling over the top of one another, push, you can do this. Whilst the partner is saying encouraging things too. In my head that is too much noise! Will I be able to ask that they don't do that? It probably sounds ridiculous but it sends me into a panic and would make me really anxious if I had 2 or 3 people yelling stuff at me. DP already knows what I am like and I know he will be understanding of this but I am worried the midwives will think I am weird. I just need 1 person talking to me at a time.

If you have a low risk vaginal birth with your own room (most hospitals only offer this via MLUs but some hospitals like MK hospital has it as part of their labour ward experience), then the midwives will definitely support this & may already have their own plans as quiet environments help to progress natural labour faster.

Write it in your birth plan and share it with your midwife. Just be prepared to bring noise cancelling earphones just in case you end up needing more intervention.

ElaborateSalad · 24/05/2021 13:07

My last birth, there was DH, 2 midwives, and a junior doctor. No cheering me on.

Ola9191 · 24/05/2021 13:11

I don't suffer with ADD however during labour I absolutely could not stand the sound of people talking (either to me or in the background!). I found I needed every ounce of concentration and it was very distracting. The only people in the room was my husband, midwife and a student midwife. Upon my request of telling everyone to be quiet...they did! The only person speaking during the pushing stage was the main midwife and she was very calm, just giving me instructions on when to push and when to not push etc to avoid tearing.

I'm sure they'll do this and sure it's not an uncommon request. Some people probably like the vocal reassurance / encouragement which is why it might be on the videos but I wanted total silence! Another thing you could do is have headphones in for early labour to zone out.

Heyha · 24/05/2021 13:12

My experience ended up being quite medicalised and even then I only had DP, midwife and consultant(?) who was wielding the forceps. I also had a student midwife but you can decline having students in with you anyway, just let them know.

So only three people and definitely no shouting, only one person talking to me at at time (maybe DP as well but I wasn't listening to him 😂) and that was after a complicated experience that ended in forceps. I did have other people in and out while I was in labour, anaesthetist, registrars coming for blood etc, but I was really poorly. I'd say I probably only had a max of four people at a time and that was usually if the student was in doing a check at the same time somebody popped in to get some blood in which case the midwives moved out of the way til they were done anyway. There's not a huge amount of room around where the action is 😂

Fyredraca · 24/05/2021 13:17

I had the lights turned down low and only me, DH and 1 midwife until the 2nd midwife arrived just before baby was born. It was very quiet.
Not strange request at all, actually calm and quiet is better and the aim.

MsSquiz · 24/05/2021 13:18

My labour and birth were so calm and quite, definitely no screaming and yelling in a room full of people.

There was me (obviously) DH and 1 midwife, the anaesthetist when he needed to top up my epidural, and then 2 doctors as I needed intervention (forceps)

edin16 · 24/05/2021 13:23

There was three midwives at mine but that was only because one was a student and my little one decided to come very quickly at their change of shift. So the new midwife came in, and I started to push a couple of minutes later so the two who had been looking after me all night decided to stay and see it till the end.

There was no frantic yelling, instructions being shouted, just encouragement all the way. I was vaguely aware of them discussing things between themselves as my babies heart rate started to drop but they were very calm and controlled with each other.

You can put on your birth plan what you want and as long as everything is going ok then there's no reason you can't have it with minimal people, noise, soft lighting ect.

mumwon · 24/05/2021 13:26

Op its American tv -please don't worry, even births which are medicalised or with intervention the doctors/midwives are concentrating on the process & helping you & won't yell at you or at each other! Its a quiet process & I say this as someone who had a difficult birth - yes there were other student there to observe breech delivery BUT I was asked if I minded them being there so I could have said no.

WaitingForNormality · 24/05/2021 13:32

This isn't the norm in the UK. I had a water birth at hospital - one midwife with me the whole time but never got in the way or anything, she kind of hovered in the background but I could have forgotten she was there tbh! When DS was born they got another midwife in, but again, neither got in my way or actually touched me until I got out the pool to deliver placenta. They just calmly told me when they could see the head, and then when baby was born in the water they told me when to pick him up from the water. No shouting at me to push or really getting heavily involved. I was in the zone and happy to be left to it!

Pongo101 · 24/05/2021 13:36

I have dyspraxia and I am also sensitive to sounds.

Birth went kind of wrong and I had that situation of 3 doctors, a midwife, and my dh all shouting at me during the final push.

They make the noise deliberately to give you the adrenaline to make that final massive push - my baby was stuck and was being simultaneously pulled by a ventouse.

I can definitely say at that the point the noise did not matter one bit. Neither did the pain. I was in such a state of panic I just pushed. And then it was over.

Please don't worry about the noise. It might not happen and even if it does, that part is over in a flash.

123feraverto · 24/05/2021 13:38

Only 3 people in the room for my first birth,
Midwife
Student midwife
Partner

Will see for the next one in the next couple of weeks :)

You can always make it a part of your birth plan - discuss it with your midwife 🙂

RedMarauder · 24/05/2021 13:38

I was in a teaching hospital but had no students.

I had my DP, a midwife, a junior doctor and an anaesthetist. The two doctors were only present because I was suppose to have an epidural but it was too late and I gave birth instead.

The two doctors could have left but many doctors like seeing straightforward births as lots of their job is shit.

richtea4 · 24/05/2021 13:38

I had quite a lot of people in the room ranging from midwives to consultants, trainees and a paediatrician because of health concerns for DC. There was definitely no shouting and it was the midwife who was with me at the start who delivered.

Peacefulspirit · 24/05/2021 13:42

As others have said it’s highly unlikely if you have a low risk pregnancy. You can make certain requests on a birth plan and you should always be asked to consent to have students etc present.
Have you considered a home birth? Your own surroundings might make you feel more comfortable too x

Crowsaregreat · 24/05/2021 13:45

In America it's normal to have your entire extended family staring at your fanny for some reason. In the UK you will have a midwife, an assistant and 1-2 birth partners of your choice. Most places say no more than 2.

DC1 I had a midwife popping in through labour, anaesthetist, until I needed a CS then I suppose it was six or so people in the room for that. I didn't count! DC2 there was DH, a midwife and a student.

I heartily recommend not watching any birth videos. The way it looks isn't really the way it feels. On your birth plan you can request quiet and say you don't want lots of people in the room or any unnecessary chat. You might want to ask your midwife about options for making machines quiet if you need to use those, eg I think the baby heartrate monitor thing can have sound turned off.

marauder1994 · 24/05/2021 13:48

Yep it was me, my oh and 2 midwives

Dyra · 24/05/2021 13:48

As you pointed out, that's the American experience. I can't speak for all births in the UK, but for my own I had 2 midwives (1 to take charge of baby if she had come out floppy due to the diamorphine (she didn't), and 1 for me), my mum and DH. All I remember was gentle quiet encouragement while I was pushing. Then again, I was so deep in my own headspace and focusing on pushing, that a parade could have marched through my room and I probably wouldn't have noticed.

Flip

1 2 3