Don’t think I can make it to appointments

[BillywigStings]

I’m 38+1 and tomorrow I have been booked in for a growth scan as my baby is looking like he’s not grown as much as he should. However everything else looks healthy and well.

Midwife so casually told me to make my way to hospital tomorrow (this was on Thursday) for the scan and I just wanted to cry. I don’t drive, have no one to help me other than my husband (who will need to stay at home to take care of my other two kids) and hospital is two bus rides away which takes about an hour and a half. My whole body hurts when I walk and I could go into labour. I will wear myself out if I attempt to carry my hospital bag with me just in case, but I probably should bring it.

I have managed to negotiate a lift to hospital but I would arrive 4 hours early and I assume hospital cafe may very well be closed due to covid so I’ll be sitting on a bench somewhere for hours.

I’ve mentioned how not driving makes it hard for me to get to hospital before and the midwife always just says get a taxi and makes no comment when I say I can’t afford that. Bus ticket is probably about £8-£15, I assume taxi there will be at least £50 but most likely more. I’ve been recommended to get this scan so I don’t dare not go in case my baby is at risk somehow, but at the same time he has been having strong movements as usual and everything else has measured fine.

Is there any help for me?

I know my local hospital has transport availability for people who have appointments but I don’t really know how it works or what (or even if) the eligibility criteria is.

Would it be worth contacting the hospital directly to see if they can help?

Why can't you all go? Obviously not in the hospital, but husband look after the kids at a local park or something?

Yes all go, husband drop you and then look after kids nearby.

Can’t the kids come in the car when your husband drops you off then they either all stay there in the car or they go home and husband puts the kids back in the car to come and get you.

My husband takes my little boy and plays in the car with him, or goes for a walk round the car park etc, while I have my appt.

Agree with pp, take the kids and let DH do something with them whilst your getting seen to.
For the sake of a couple hours round trip it’s far better than the stress of a bus, waiting for 4 hours.

I agree with everyone else all go in the car. Take some snacks for the kids and have a picnic in the car whilst you are at your appointment. Or he can take them to the park or something whilst you are in the appointment.

Can you rearrange for Monday when kids are at nursery/school (assuming they are?)

Ignore that, just realised tomorrow is Monday!

Sounds very tough, but honestly I agree with pp, I don’t see why your husband couldn’t bring the kids along too, drop you off, go off somewhere himself with them and then come backs to get you later?

Why can't your husband take you and stay in the car with the kids, that's what I did 20 years ago

If your husband can drive then why can't he take you and leave the kids in the car with with?

Everyone in car, husband drives, you go to appointment, husband entertains kids in park/walk etc. Then collects you when you’re done.

The maternity unit will be open is there anywhere they’d let you sit with a tea and a book of you explain to them ? Might be a nice 4 hour rest too !

Like others I would suggest your husband takes you with the children, takes them somewhere to play and then comes back to get you. In my area there’s a local charity who take people to medical appointments, mainly elderly people. You could ask at your local library if there is anything like that in your area.

Husband drives you, bringing the kids in the car, drops you off then goes to a park until ready to pick you up?

You all go in the car, they wait or go to the park or something

Your husband needs to step up!

I also don't drive and DH takes me to and from all appointments, sometimes waiting hours. He manages to get his shifts covered even if it means working an extra day in return.

Husband drops you off and takes kids nearby.

Or the lift four hours early and take a book. The cafe in my local hospital is open but you couldn’t sit inside last week, you might be able to next week.

It’s rubbish, I do sympathise - I can’t drive for medical reasons and it’s a pain - but I don’t think there’s much in the way of help. Here the hospital transport scheme is only really for elderly people, the eligibility criteria is insane; and you have to book three weeks in advance. There’s also a lot of waiting around; as they collect in circular routes and then drop you off to wait, and then collect you later. Anyway, yours might be different so worth asking for next time, but for now; you’ve got two options that work.

I hope the scan goes okay x

I agree that if your DH drives and has a car he takes you there with the DC and either goes home again to wait for you to call him to collect you. Or he takes the DC to a park.

Bit of a non issue really - your husband drops you at the hospital and waits for you in car or elsewhere with the kids.

Can you ask to be induced? With my first I was having to go to the hospital everyday for monitoring as I had preeclampsia but I didn’t drive and the hospital was an hour away. They induced be at 37 weeks as I said I couldn’t do it anymore.

The midwife must have booked the scan for a reason. So it’s really important that you go.

How will you manage in labour? Could the same person have your kids for a while tomorrow?

Hope it all goes smoothly.

As everyone has said, your husband takes you and they wait outside. Or you'll have to fork out and get a taxi. Lots of people don't drive. Not sure what else you expect your midwife to say really. She's not going to give you a lift.

This is a really important scan. Your husband should drive and bring the kids with you. Have you got a plan for if you go into labour?