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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Don’t think I can make it to appointments

61 replies

BillywigStings · 16/05/2021 11:37

I’m 38+1 and tomorrow I have been booked in for a growth scan as my baby is looking like he’s not grown as much as he should. However everything else looks healthy and well.

Midwife so casually told me to make my way to hospital tomorrow (this was on Thursday) for the scan and I just wanted to cry. I don’t drive, have no one to help me other than my husband (who will need to stay at home to take care of my other two kids) and hospital is two bus rides away which takes about an hour and a half. My whole body hurts when I walk and I could go into labour. I will wear myself out if I attempt to carry my hospital bag with me just in case, but I probably should bring it.

I have managed to negotiate a lift to hospital but I would arrive 4 hours early and I assume hospital cafe may very well be closed due to covid so I’ll be sitting on a bench somewhere for hours.

I’ve mentioned how not driving makes it hard for me to get to hospital before and the midwife always just says get a taxi and makes no comment when I say I can’t afford that. Bus ticket is probably about £8-£15, I assume taxi there will be at least £50 but most likely more. I’ve been recommended to get this scan so I don’t dare not go in case my baby is at risk somehow, but at the same time he has been having strong movements as usual and everything else has measured fine.

Is there any help for me?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Figgygal · 16/05/2021 12:15

I’m sorry if you can’t afford a taxi to hospital for a vital check to ensure the health of your baby then you can’t afford to be having another child.

Get your husband as other posters have said to take you to the hospital or pay for a taxi.

LST · 16/05/2021 12:15

@Figgygal

I’m sorry if you can’t afford a taxi to hospital for a vital check to ensure the health of your baby then you can’t afford to be having another child.

Get your husband as other posters have said to take you to the hospital or pay for a taxi.

Helpful comment right there. Well done.

Bluntness100 · 16/05/2021 12:17

I’m sorry op, this isn’t clear, does your husband not drive either ?

Moonshine11 · 16/05/2021 12:17

I’m sorry if you can’t afford a taxi to hospital for a vital check to ensure the health of your baby then you can’t afford to be having another child.

Fgs get a grip.

Bluntness100 · 16/05/2021 12:18

@ThatIsMyPotato

This is a really important scan. Your husband should drive and bring the kids with you. Have you got a plan for if you go into labour?

It’s not really clear if the husband can’t drive either or why he can’t take the op if he does and sit in the car with the kids.

Original poster

BillywigStings · 16/05/2021 12:19

Sorry I don’t think I made it clear but my husband doesn’t drive either. But tbh maybe it’s best we just both go and take all the kids on the bus. It’ll be hectic and a long day but I guess it’s better than being on my own

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 16/05/2021 12:20

How do you make your other appointments op? How do you normally deal with things if both of you can’t drive?

AngelDelightUk · 16/05/2021 12:21

With both of you not driving that’s tough, how far away are you for a taxi to cost £50

Shmithecat2 · 16/05/2021 12:23

If it's any help, coffee shops should be open inside and out tomorrow.

tiredanddangerous · 16/05/2021 12:23

How are you planning to get to hospital when you're in labour?

UhtredRagnarson · 16/05/2021 12:26

If your husband doesn’t drive then how else were you planning to get there If not bus or taxi?

UhtredRagnarson · 16/05/2021 12:26

@tiredanddangerous

How are you planning to get to hospital when you're in labour?

Good question!

Original poster

BillywigStings · 16/05/2021 12:27

Other appointments are in the town where I live. It’s just scans and actually giving birth are in a different hospital which is further away. It used to be different but they closed down maternity services in local
hospital. My other appointments have been at local hospital except for ultrasounds, and there’s only been two of those so far. First once, hubby took the day off work so I got the bus there and back (had to be whole day as you never know how long u will need to wait and they sometimes just expect you to be available for a string of appointments directly after a scan - don’t know if it’s just me this always happens to). The second scan I took the bus to and someone was able to pick me up and take me home on their way from somewhere. My husband has been waiting to take his driving test since before covid and now we need to put it off as money is tight due to new baby expenses.

OP posts:

ThatIsMyPotato · 16/05/2021 12:27

Ah I see sorry I assumed he could drive, apologies. How were you going to get to hopsital to have the baby? Or were you planning a home birth? I think you'll have to get a taxi sorry, I know it's pricey but I can't see any other option.

ThatIsMyPotato · 16/05/2021 12:29

I think this is one of those "New Baby Expenses"

Original poster

BillywigStings · 16/05/2021 12:30

How am I getting to hospital when I am in labour - I have someone who has prearranged to get time off work to drive me if it happens but I can’t expect them to do this for all the appointments. I just don’t have a wide support/social circle. There’s others worse off than me, living in the far flung villages - it’s a rural area - but either they drive or have relatives that help out and we just don’t have that

OP posts:

ThatIsMyPotato · 16/05/2021 12:31

I'd take the lift there and take something to read? Then get a taxi back.

Bluntness100 · 16/05/2021 12:32

Honestly taking a driving test is the least of the expense associated worth driving op. Getting a car, insurance, tax, fuel is where rhe big money is.

Anyway, it seems you’re both in a very difficult situation with no money to be able to afford to even get to hospital and a third child on the way. All of you going will just add to the cost.

I think you need to pack a small bag you can carry And go on the bus on yout own, or go with the person who will drive you and wait it out. You need to be scanned and you don’t really have any other options.

Mistressiggi · 16/05/2021 12:34

Call a taxi firm and get a price. It might not be as bad as you fear.
Or could you call in a favour from a friend?
I think the driving test should go ahead ASAP tbh
Sorry have seen you can get a lift. I wonder if you were sitting in the waiting room for hours would they just scan you earlier?! I wouldn't normally recommend lying but you could pretend to have got the time wrong...

Moonshine11 · 16/05/2021 12:35

Ok so giving he doesn’t drive I would take the offer up on the lift there.
Snacks, a book, a walk around. Get the bus back, keep it simple for now.

Twickerhun · 16/05/2021 12:35

Some hospitals have driving services to get people to medical appointments - can you call the hospital and ask? And Google to see if there is any local service advertised? One of my friends drives for a hospital transport service and users pay a very reasonable and small free to use it. All the volunteers are super helpful and kind - it’s the kind of help which restores your faith in humanity.

Original poster

BillywigStings · 16/05/2021 12:35

Look tbh I was having a bit of a moment. I woke up this morning swollen up like a balloon and the kids screaming, hubby already at work and have been having one of those days and I just thought ‘I have to go all the way to tomorrow’, and I texted my mum about it and she said ‘best take your hospital bag in case you go into labour’ and the very thought of being stuck out in the middle of nowhere with a hospital bag I can barely carry (because my body is now just giving out on me) and going into labour just sent me into tears. It’s a simple solution, just pack up the family and make a day trip of it, but I’m so emotional right now and so many other things going on I’m a bit of a mess. Called my midwife and she’s on annual leave too. that comment about ‘well you can’t afford a baby anyway’ - yes I can, but unfortunately something happened and money was needed for something else, leaving things right until I next get paid. Life happens

OP posts:

Original poster

BillywigStings · 16/05/2021 12:38

Thank you all for your help, think I just needed to ‘talk’ to someone and have the obvious spelled out for me. Iv been isolated and off work for a long time due to covid and didn’t have a social circle really to begin with so just alone and panicked. Some good suggestions honestly I was just having a moment

OP posts:

Original poster

BillywigStings · 16/05/2021 12:42

I used to be the one working, didn’t have a fancy career or anything, but was proud I worked long hours, earned good wages and was moving up the ladder at work, came home and cooked meals and took the kids out too and I’m just so weak now and helpless. I can’t do anything and ...omg this baby just needs to come out now.

OP posts:

ThatIsMyPotato · 16/05/2021 12:46

I get it, that last bit of pregnancy was so it was so daunting for me the thought of managing to get anywhere. Hope your scan goes well

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