Guilt over not feeling like pregnancy is a magical experience

[Tryingandhoping2020]

Firstly I am so happy, grateful and excited to be pregnant and I can’t wait to meet my baby.

However, I’ve found my pregnancy so far quite tough physically. Was very sick between weeks 6-12 and was signed off work, basically lived in my bed. Improved since then (now 18+2) but still being sick every now and then and so drained and exhausted all the time. My skin has broken out badly, none of my clothes fit, I’m certainly not glowing. Meanwhile all the pregnancy apps are telling me in the second trimester I should be feeling fantastic, and social media posts from other pregnant women saying that pregnancy is the most magical experience of their lives and they cherish every second of carrying their baby.

Anyone else so grateful to be pregnant but also counting down the days till due date, and not particularly enjoying pregnancy so far? Did it get any better for you?

Don't be fooled by the pregnancy glow BS @Tryingandhoping2020 ! I never got it, pregnancy 1 and now No 2 on the way.

I'm a hot, sweaty, cack feeling mess! Roll on labour lol

100% me - I'm 37 weeks today and booked in for a c-section on 26th due to baby being breech and I honestly can not wait to not be pregnant anymore 😂

I was so sick early on lost about half a stone I didn't start feeling better until about 20 weeks but once I hit about 30 I started getting migraines and just generally feeling achy.

Everyone is different and so are all pregnancies I've always wanted 2 children but currently thinking about doing it again seems like a terrible idea

I hope things improve for you I just keeping thinking about my gorgeous boy I'll get at the end and it keeps me pushing through not that there's an alternative and you definitely don't have to feel bad about not liking pregnancy plenty of people don't 🙂

Ignore social media. Its people pretending everything's perfect. With pregnancy and life.

I'm nearly 14 weeks and the first trimester was hell on earth, so far in the second trimester I'm exhausted, still feel nauseated and just feel like crap. So far I've definitely not enjoyed it at all and it's not this magical and wonderful time but I know it will pass!

Yep, my guess is that the "glow" is a myth
My first trimester was awful, second trimester has been fine but I feel like a whale. My back hurts, I'm huuuge and I can't walk anywhere without feeling exhausted.
I've just hit third trimester now at 28+2 and I've already started getting problems with the amount of food I can eat.
I don't mind being pregnant actually but it definitely isn't as great as everyone makes out

36 weeks now and I felt hellish until around 20 weeks but I can genuinely say from then I’ve felt pretty great with only a handful of grumbles along the way! Fingers crossed you follow suit and it gets better for you!

I hated being pregnant... even when they first started moving it freaked me out, like my body was moving and I wasn’t doing it, lol

Nevermind how rubbish I felt.

My DC are young adults now, it was all fine as soon as I wasn’t pregnant anymore.

So I’ve decided it’s people that like being pregnant that are weird.

I enjoyed it so little everyone I met after I had DD told me how well I was looking even with a newborn baby and no sleep!

I was in constant pain (SPD), heartburn every time I ate or lay down. Couldn't go round corners without bumping into stuff. Ankles swelled up so couldn't wear normal shoes.

Its a means to an end - it will be worth it but please don't feel you have to enjoy every minute!

@tabulahrasa

"So I’ve decided it’s people that like being pregnant that are weird."

Agree with this 100%

Ignore the apps and social media!

I'm incredibly grateful to be pregnant but genuinely cannot say that I've enjoyed it - I've been anxious, sick, migraines, PGP, constipation, piles, itchy nipples, incredibly sore boobs (all the fun stuff no one warns you about!). I never got my second trimester glow up/energy boost - just Tired.All.The.Time.

I realise that this is a problem many women would love to have but for me its been a rollercoaster of emotions that hasn't been great - I've not really felt I've been able to relax and "enjoy" being pregnant (other than getting a better table at a restaurant recently...).

I think for many of us it's a case of 9 months to get through...try not to compare yourself and your jounrey to other people (so much easier said than done!).

Mute/unfollow people that don't make you feel good - I recently did this on Instagram. I love some of the advice but one of the midwives I follow who is pregnant was contantly posting about running 10K/doing strength workouts and I realised it was just making me feel worse about myself and lack of energy so I had to unfollow and I felt so much better for it.

If you haven’t already seen it, I’d recommend Amy Schumer’s documentary Expecting Amy about her pregnancy experience. She had an absolutely horrendous time, but it gives a very real account of a difficult pregnancy.

I’m 9+1 and it’s awful I am delighted to be pregnant but I’m really struggling with the sickness got up at 4am and took cyclizine and since then I’ve been sick twice 😢

Pregnancy is mostly shite in my experience 😂

Babies are lovely though

It’s a lie. But it is absolutely okay NOT to love pregnancy!

I’m still waiting for the glow from my first pregnancy. 24 weeks with number 2 and still no glow ... or energy.

Thank you everyone, that makes me feel a lot better! It’s so easy to get sucked into the social media BS and everyone I know in real life is more of the ‘yeah felt a bit sick for the first few weeks but after that it was great!’ type. I’ve felt quite lonely in my experience and like no-one can really relate IRL!

Will definitely check out that documentary.

@2020newbie been there, hold on and you will get through it! My weeks 8-10 were the absolute worst. As much as I’m not myself now, I’m miles better than I was at your stage. Take it easy if you can, take your medication, regular snacks and look after yourself. Also feel free to glare at anyone who asks if you’ve tried ginger biscuits x

@Tryingandhoping2020 if one more person suggests ginger biscuits 😡 and the people who say it’s a normal part of pregnancy, I refuse to believe that the majority of women experience it to this extent

I hear you
I did not like pregnancy. Never felt like I was glowing. Severely anaemic, nauseous, felt like I’d been kicked in the groin a few times, sciatica and the stretch marks look like a map of the underground. After 2 miscarriages I felt like I should be grateful, and I was but that didn’t change the fact that I felt bloody awful!
However, baby is here. Up every hour and a half overnight but couldn’t be happier with my little one. Hang on in there, they’re are worth every moment of it.

Yeah, it's all bullshit. The sickness, tiredness, mood swings, stretching, growing body, kicking, hip pain, back pain, and then to top it all off you have to push the enormous thing out and your fanny is fucked.

Then the real work starts.

Motherhood is wonderful and yet hard. But we have Mumsnet to get us though.

@2020newbie yeah I really don’t think most women do, most experience nausea — vomiting several times a day is something else entirely and I don’t think people can understand that unless they’ve experienced it. It’s exhausting, it doesn’t relieve the sick feeling, and it makes everything worse because you’re not able to keep hold of any nutrients if cyclizine isn’t helping you (it didn’t for me) don’t be afraid to go back to the docs and request something else x

I am with you OP, I do not enjoy being pregnant at all. I love my bump but that is as far as it goes. I'm 30 weeks now and am beyond frustrated at this point, everything aches, I have really bad SPD, started getting morning sickness when I didn't have it semesters 1 and 2, constipation etc etc, the list goes on. I feel like bursting into tears every minute because I am so fed up with it

I could have written this post. I don't dare say it out loud (to anyone other than my husband) but I hate being pregnant, despite me logically knowing it will all be worth it.

My skin's never been worse, I feel huge, my back constantly hurts & I just generally feel like crap. I did feel 'better' in the second trimester, but am now into the third & feeling pretty physically low again. Very much looking forward to not being pregnant & meeting my baby! Everything just feels like a struggle.

I think some people just enjoy pregnancy more than others, I don't really think I was made for it 😂

I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my third baby. Let's look at my pregnancy objectively right now:

• Taking two anti-nausea pills and still struggling. Doctor says this is the best medicine they can offer me.
• So tired I have to nap every day.
• SPD/hip pain has started this week. So I'm looking at six months of increasingly struggling to walk.
• First twinges of heartburn - again, this is the first of six more months of this.
• Had my first pregnancy migraine this morning.
• Have to inject myself with blood thinners daily for the next eight months.
• Have to have an early GTT due to past GD, which may trigger more needles and appointments.
• I get so travel sick last time I took a taxi to the hospital I nearly passed out.
• I also can't walk down the street without feeling dizzy because of the nausea - plus the hip pain's started.
• So I'm housebound and don't expect to get better for a month or two, based on previous pregnancy.
• Very limited diet of expensive foods despite meds, so worried about our budget.
• Husband has been an absolute star with household stuff and childcare but is really starting to feel the strain of being stretched so thin for so long.

Yeah, of course I'm not fucking glowing. To be frank, I feel borderline disabled right now. The only things getting me through it are:

• looking at our lovely existing children and thinking of how nice it will be to have another one
• knowing I completely recovered from a bad pregnancy last time so I just have to slog through to birth and then it will be OK
• vowing that this is our last child, even though we would have loved another one.

34 weeks here and I can't say I've enjoyed any of it. Had awful hyperemesis with lots of hospital admissions until 20 weeks and pretty much crippling nausea since then. Can still barely eat or drink, am anaemic so on iron supplements, having dreadful constipation as a result and now a nice family of piles to add insult to injury, had tonsillitis and a UTI and put my back out!!!

I am counting down the days until the pregnancy is over - and there's nothing more irritating than strangers in the street cooing about what a magical time it is, it really isn't!!

to everyone who is having a tough time. We’ll get through it!

Step away from social media and apps, they're not real life.