Baby Shower or not during covid?

[sarah13xx]

I am about to start working from home when I’m 28 weeks. I’m a teacher and feel like I’ve been so lucky not to have caught covid up til now (that I’m aware of). Was thinking I will need to arrange something in July for friends/family but have never really liked the idea of a baby shower. Hate the attention being on me and would feel like I was inviting people to bring me a present basically, when they will probably buy the baby one after he is born. Considered having a casual BBQ at my mum’s house instead (where it’s not all women). Either just a family one then meet up with friends in a smaller group, all outside to reduce the risk or just invite everyone to the same one?

What are most people doing about ‘baby showers’ just now? 🙈 Really don’t want to catch it just as I’m at the most vulnerable! x

Just don't have one. They are grim as an attendee.

I don’t know anyone who’s ever had one. I thought it was just a weird American thing?

@ShutUpAlex that’s what I think but every one of my friends have had one, other than those with babies born mid-lockdown last year 🙈 I’m worried if I don’t arrange an alternative they will try to make me have one and I can think of nothing worse than playing those games etc 😩

@Mummyof2Terrors maybe this is an idea 😂 worried people will ask then try to arrange one though! Another friend in our group is also pregnant but due after me, I might suggest we go for afternoon tea or something so they don’t arrange one

You don’t sound like you want one, so don’t have one?

*Baby shower or not during Covid?
*
How about or not, never, not just during Covid?

It's supposed to be thrown for you by someone else. The whole definition is to shower the baby with gifts. A mixed sex BBQ with no gifts is just a get together. Have that if you want. Don't bill it as anything but a get together/BBQ.

No way. Just read a woman caught it after her own baby shower.. She died after her baby was delivered at 33 weeks..

I think the way you’ve framed this is a really nice idea. Not as a baby shower, which comes with expectations of gifts and games - but as a BBQ before your life changes and your time is less your own.

On risk - depends what the rules are for parties in your area at the time? Definitely outside a good idea, make clear people can stay in their household groups and don’t have to feel the need to make small talk with others, and make clear you’re fine with people dropping in and out for an hour or whatever they’re comfortable with. And lots of hand sanitiser at the ready!

@Aprilshowersandhail omg 😨 that’s enough to put you off

No. Want a get together within restrictions? Have one.

The Americans give presents at the shower but not when the baby is born. The British give when the baby is safely arrived. Better idea.

@DeusEx yeah I just cringe at the idea of a baby shower. I think a family BBQ with a few friends (who we are very close friends with in couples) then maybe for my group of friends we could just go somewhere for an afternoon tea. I just hate the idea of ‘come to my baby shower and bring me a gift’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ And my sister would arrange it for me so I wouldn’t be arranging it myself but I’ve already said to her please don’t! 🙈

@murbblurb it’s trying not to invite many people without people being offended 🙈 but maybe I should just spend time during the summer meeting up with my smaller groups of friends (outside ideally) then have the family BBQ with only very close family

No in general. My SIL said to me "I hope you still want a baby shower?" It's baby number 6 for us and I never had showers for our other 5 (4 pregnancies). Can't be doing with people making a fuss of me when pregnant.
Couldn't give a flying fig about the covid rules and risks though tbh

You now sound like you want one?

Why afternoon tea with just your friends?

I didn't want a baby shower so went for afternoon tea with some friends, was lovely!!

@Onceuponatime1818 I don’t but I think if I do nothing someone will try and arrange something as a ‘surprise’ and I can think of nothing worse. If it was afternoon tea it wouldn’t be mentioned as a baby shower, just do you want to go for afternoon tea?

@Talkwhilstyouwalk that sounds like the best idea! There is a nice place near me that does it outside. Did consider getting a takeaway afternoon tea to have in my garden but that may make it more like a baby shower so should probably avoid that

I’m in the same camp- didn’t want a baby shower anyway but especially not during covid.

We’d like to see our friends though before the baby is born so may have a get together/ bbq

We’re planning on asking people to do a lateral flow test when seeing us, now they’re free to obtain. Gives extra piece of mind if social distancing goes to pot after a couple of drinks (them not me! Haha)

Still contemplating how we will deal with SIL 40th party/ meal and a friends baptism (both organised on the same weekend, a day after each other, when I’m turning 28 weeks.....) as seems hypocritical to ask people to test when we see them individually, yet still going to events like that

If you organise it yourself you’re in control of guests and can politely ask them to test, also setup properly and covid safe

You’re less in control if it’s arranged elsewhere

I love baby showers but I’m definitely in the minority here! Not sure why people don’t like them but you could always do it after baby arrives if you’d feel safer that way. Or more of a get together before like you say but keeping numbers small and do it outdoors x

@Fro93 I think a lot of peoples attitudes have changed now as if covid is over now the deaths are down and some people are vaccinated. I just really don’t want to be taking any chances, especially after somehow making it through all these months of teaching in a class with zero social distancing and children literally breathing over the top of me. Would kick myself if I caught it right at the end 🤦🏼‍♀️ My friend is due before me and has a baby shower arranged, although I don’t think she knows about it. It’s at a restaurant outside and I don’t think a huge number will be going for that reason but I’m wary of even going to that but feel like I kind of have to. I almost wish I was due in the peak of it to avoid having to do anything 🙈

Just say you're not comfortable with the risk of getting it so close to the birth and you'll do something informal after the baby's born. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to go and risk your health if someone else arranges it. Make it clear now.

@sarah13xx completely agree and I think as things go on people are letting their guard down more, completely upto them but it does make me feel more vulnerable

I do feel like I’m having to justify myself a little with asking people to teat “all of a sudden” but I’ve had a bit of a shift to being more cautious as I’ve got further on as I haven’t had it either and don’t want it now haha

@Stoptalkingtome completely agree- it’s about making it super clear. I’ve told any friends or family who would think of surprising me that the idea makes me uncomfortable and they’re respecting that and have said they won’t plan anything

Covid or not....I would avoid any type of baby shower...tacky and boring !

If you don’t want to go to your friends just say you’re not comfortable and don’t go. I wouldn’t go personally but all my friends are now quite aware of how nervous I am about covid as I’ve turned down several events and they’re very understanding.