Feeling bad and was shouted at

[Babyjune21]

Feel like I’m never off this page I was
In hospital on Friday I’m 31 pregnant and I have 3 appointments a week every week as my womb is numb and can’t feel 95% of babas movements so I’m monitored my husband was with me ( he’s been allowed to attended every scan every appointment every movement check every time I’m in hospital he’s there with me ) I’m in Scotland and right now partners aren’t really allowed in but we got the ok from my mental health midwife and high risk doctors at 10 weeks pregnant that I was not to attended allow ( I suffer sever ptsd a long with other illnesses) I was extremely suicidal in my last pregnancy and wanted to take my own life due to trauma I have a great team and they bend over backwards for me but I’m really starting to feel bad since we are at hospital all the time we have witness 3 fathers missing births because the aren’t allowed to be with wife until I certain point we have witness woman crying because they have to scan alone now we don’t wait in a waiting room we check in at desk and are taken away to a private room straight away but on Friday I went to check in and it wasn’t the usual woman she told my husband to leave and I calmly asked her to check my records she said “why I don’t have to check you records to know he can’t be here “ she was being extremely loud by this point people were looking my husband told her just to check and when she did she went bright red said sorry and told us to go to usual room we shrugged it off but as we were heading to the room a pregnant woman stood up and started screaming and shouting at the top of her lungs “ no way why is her husband allowed in” “that’s unfair treatment” “who has she paid to get the vip treatment” by this point I wanted to the ground to swallow me whole ! I started to shake uncontrollably the woman became unreasonable and I wash ushered into a room and was told she was asked to leave the premises ! I’m so scared to go back I’m due in on Monday and I’m so scared something like this will happen again my high risk doctor and midwife have both been on the phone to say sorry (totally not their fault) but now I’m
Worried if it happens again what if it happens on the day of my c section as my husband is allowed to stay over in a private room with me for my 2 day stay what if someone sees him i can’t sleep for thinking about it ! I know to many I may seem selfish but this is what ptsd due to trauma does to you !

Sorry to hear about your experience OP.
I'm 34 weeks and also in Scotland. I've seen partners being sent away when they have came on for growth scans by receptionists but they haven't ever argued about it.
All I would say is try not too worry about it as this woman will be in the minority. Most of us understand that if a partner is there, it's for good reason!
It's difficult with MH to not let things consume you but just try to remember you've done nothing wrong at all and are doing what's best for you and your baby x

I’m sorry that you were out in that awkward position by the other woman’s shouting, and that you have had a hard time. However, I am inclined to agree with pp who suggested that people might be more likely to react in that way when they are experiencing their own MH problems.

She was wrong to shout at you, but I also do feel for her. There is every chance she has experienced trauma in the past but has not met the ‘threshold’ for partner support or been able to speak up.

I experienced a loss during lockdown and at no point was my DH allowed closer than the hospital car park. If I saw another partner there, I think my initial reaction would be a pang of jealousy (before I then engaged my brain into thinking about why they might be there), but if I were in a really bad place mentally, would I be able to take time to engage my brain into thinking rationally? I don’t know.