Dummies /Soothers / Yes or No

[TerryRose]

Hiya first time mum to be here, just wondering about soothers , do you use them ? We all had dummies /soothers as a baby/toddler but just wondering what are peoples views on them these days ? Thanks

I didn't plan on using them but ended up with a very sucky baby. He was in the NICU so I couldn't breastfed him and the nurses actually asked if they could give him a dummy. Sucking is one of their biggest comforts when they are little so I wouldn't deprive him of that. He only has it for bedtime now and spits it out after about 20 mins so I'm not too worried about teeth.

I hate them, I think they should be banned. I never had one as a baby, none of my mums children did. I swore that no baby of mine would ever have an ugly unnecessary piece of plastic shoved in his or her mouth, and I meant it. My son never ever had one. No baby of mine ever would. They're simply not necessary I don't think. A baby will not miss what it's never had. And it's more to worry about. My son did suck his thumb for a short time, but he stopped completely on his own when he was around a year old, and has never done it since. To me they are an excuse for lazy parenting, baby is crying? Shove a dummy in its mouth and hope it shuts up! I hate them. If I could I'd make them illegal. Way too much reliance on them and parents are way too quick to turn to them when you don't need them at all.

Also my son was in NICU then SCBU for 12 days. I exclusively formula fed because I knew I never wanted to even try breastfeeding or expressing, so I didn't. He was tube fed for a few days to start.
Obviously I didn't have a dummy as I hate them. Once I walked in to find a nurse had given him one, obviously without consent. I took it straight out, put it in the bin and made it crystal clear that my son was NEVER EVER to be given one again because I'm 100% against them. (It was one of the many things I complained about with regards our treatment so I wasn't too surprised).

Are you planning to breastfeed? I only ask because my DS (second child) has never had a dummy because I was absolutely determined to breastfeed him and we were having trouble with his weight gain due to tongue tie in the early days. Though it took til 8 weeks to get it corrected. Anyway I didn’t give him a. Dummy because I wanted him on the breast as much as possible to get bf established and help his weight gain. So he did and still does all his comfort sucking on me (9 months old now). May be relevant or not but...
He naps well
Night time sleep pretty shit (cosleep for sanity and so he can have his comfort suckling when he needs it)
Easily calmed down
No night time pacing the floor with a screaming baby, he feeds and straight back to sleep
He’s a very happy little soul most of the time
Doesn’t feed much in the day anymore

For context my first baby, DD, breastfeeding didn’t work out and from 3 months she was formula fed. She didn’t have a dummy either. I was very much against them but now seeing how my DS likes / needs to comfort suck I half wish I’d have given DD one for sleep.I mean we got through it and she is absolutely fine and wonderful now at almost 4 years old, but bless her she was quite a fractious baby and I wonder if it would have helped her. I worried about teeth, speech and over reliance on a dummy though.

In short: completely up to you. I think they do have their place. If you’re wanting to breastfeed may not be necessary, and certainly in the early days may even be harmful in getting bf established.

Best of luck!

It's your child and your choice, everyone does what they think best to get them through. Neither of my children had them and neither have ever sucked their thumbs. If you are breastfeeding it might be best to avoid a dummy in the first weeks as sucking on a dummy can mask babies initial hunger cues. I chose not to use a dummy because a friend who is a speech therapist had strong views against them and hearing her reasons influenced me.

It’s a totally personal choice. My baby has bad reflux so I tried a dummy with him because I heard it might help. Unfortunately he won’t take them, so he made the decision for me.

They can be great for refluxy babies and colicky babies. There is some evidence they decrease the risk of SIDS if used consistently for every sleep including naps.

They can cause issues with teeth and delay speech if used for that long, but you can mitigate both risks by limiting their use to times when your baby is sleeping and taking them away early enough.

There is absolutely no right or wrong answer here - do what is right for you and your baby.

I wasn't going to use a pacifier with DS1 - I thought they were awful things. But he was a sucky baby and took to sucking his jellycat rabbits ears. On the basis that pacifiers are easier to disinfect we used them with DS2 and he had them until he was about 3 when the 'dummy fairy' came and swapped them for a grown up Playmobil vehicle.

Didn't really want them as was worried about taking them away at a later date, in the end we used them as she had silent reflux and it really helped.
To take them away we did it at about 15m old at Christmas when there were lots of people around distracting her.

It depends on the baby I think.

My son had one and loved it. My daughter hated them. Spat them out and preferred her thumb.

All babies suck something... they will let you know what they like.

@happymummy12345

Crikey you took away comfort for your poorly baby's strongest instinct when they are born (sucking) because you thought they were ugly?

Guess il have to agree to disagree with you on that one.

They are overused and I hate seeing toddlers running around with them in their mouths but they do serve a purpose in some situations.

@happymummy12345

Also my son was in NICU then SCBU for 12 days. I exclusively formula fed because I knew I never wanted to even try breastfeeding or expressing, so I didn't. He was tube fed for a few days to start. Obviously I didn't have a dummy as I hate them. Once I walked in to find a nurse had given him one, obviously without consent. I took it straight out, put it in the bin and made it crystal clear that my son was NEVER EVER to be given one again because I'm 100% against them. (It was one of the many things I complained about with regards our treatment so I wasn't too surprised).

When my little one was in Nicu they gave him a dummy to help develop his suck reflux and a leaflet to us explaining this. This is probably why they gave it to him. We kept trying to introduce it and it gradually helped me breast feed him, we had fantastic communication with the nurses.

Also, to answer OP, helped him sleep and absolutely no issues taking it away around 18 months when naps dropped.

Personal choice we have some ready but will depend on baby.

The only thing I would say is as long as they are not trying to talk with dummy in their mouths then it’s ok. As it’s like learning to talk with a pen in your mouth. The same goes for thumbs though with that.

@happymummy12345

I hate them, I think they should be banned. I never had one as a baby, none of my mums children did. I swore that no baby of mine would ever have an ugly unnecessary piece of plastic shoved in his or her mouth, and I meant it. My son never ever had one. No baby of mine ever would. They're simply not necessary I don't think. A baby will not miss what it's never had. And it's more to worry about. My son did suck his thumb for a short time, but he stopped completely on his own when he was around a year old, and has never done it since. To me they are an excuse for lazy parenting, baby is crying? Shove a dummy in its mouth and hope it shuts up! I hate them. If I could I'd make them illegal. Way too much reliance on them and parents are way too quick to turn to them when you don't need them at all.

You're joking right? make them illegal? Because they are ugly? And I never just "shove a dummy in his mouth" I actually hug him and comfort him when he's upset. His dummy helps him sleep and calm down and sometimes we all need a little help.

No issue at all with babies having dummies. I wish mine would have had them and slept better 😴

I don't agree with older babies (over 1) walking around with dummies in their mouths. They should be for sleep or comfort only really, and can affect speech and teeth if they have it in 24/7

Bloody hell @happymummy12345 you don't sound very happy, ranting about plastic dummies but happy to bottle feed, what's the difference between those two anyway, neither is natural and that is fine- parents will do whats best for their babies and themselves. Are you okay?

All 3 of my DC had one, just for sleeping. No teeth problems here and they are late primary and secondary age now so it would be obvious. Think thumb sucking may be worse for getting sticky out teeth and more difficult to stop.

I wasn't particularly keen to use dummies but my eldest sucked for comfort between feeds and the only thing he could suck was my nipple. I didn't realise he was doing this for comfort initially and ended up with very sore, cracked nipples. Once someone suggested I try a dummy when I knew he'd had a good feed and might just need to suck for comfort to sleep it worked a treat. Younger two DC also had them for sleeping and the dummy fairy swapped them for a little toy when they were small toddlers.

I don't like seeing little ones running around with one in their mouth though, it's important that speech development isn't interfered with.

Some babies won't take them but if you have one that comfort sucks to get to sleep a dummy can be really helpful.

Oh, and all of mine had absolutely no problems breastfeeding and also having a dummy. Don't let that stop you if people say it will confuse them, it probably won't!

My daughter had a dummy, actually she usually had 3, one in her mouth and one in each hand. She had terrible teeth and needed years of orthodontic work.

My son would not take a dummy at all, no matter how persuasive I was. He also had terrible teeth and needed years of orthodontic work.

@happymummy12345

😂😂😂😂😂 wtf have I just read. Such a strange and extreme post.

OP, dummies are brilliant inventions for babies and for parents. Especially these ones

www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/303805322

No dummies here. Awful things and completely unnecessary.

@happymummy12345 well that made me laugh! You must be a troll because no normal person could miss the irony of thinking dummies are bad because they are unnatural plastic and then choose to bottle feed, which uses exactly the same material, just because they didn't want to breastfeed. Seriously, pick a high horse and stick to it!

I suspect any perception of bad treatment in NICU was a response to your smug superior attitude!

(To be clear for all the non trolls I have no issue whatsoever with formula/bottles, I have done breast and formula, fed is best).

My dd has had a dummy since 2 weeks old and she is now 6 and a half months. She loves it, she's happy, no problem.

I'm always amused by those who have such strong negative feelings about dummies. Dont like them, fine that's your perogative but why spout nonsense like I'd make them illegal or they are awful and unnecessary?

It honestly baffles me. No one is holding you at gunpoint forcing you to use them if you don't want to so why the fuck would you be so invested in whether others chose to use them.

I didn't expect this to get so heated 🤣🤣🤣 my only concern was in regards to any dental issue , never realised thumb sucking can be worse . I have bought some dummies so will definitely give them a try anyway, as you say each to their own . Thanks for your input 👍