Giving birth

[maria1995xxx]

Hi I was wondering how bad the cramping is during contractions and the pushing stage. Like will I still be able to breathe if I didn't use gas and air? How many of you think it's made you neauseous? Also regarding epidural I don't think I want one because it can make you not know when to push etc I've heard anyway. This is my first baby and I want it all to be as natural as possible but with a good understanding of pain too.

Oh to add DS decided to go back to back in labour and they only realised when I was pushing for so long and he got a bit stressed in there (I was on monitors all the time, thank goodness) and the midwife told me to stop pushing as she could see his cord was slightly around his neck. She placed two fingers under his cord and told me to push and released the cord.

Forgot to add sorry about this 😂 I had to have a break from pushing for one hour to monitor DS. He needed a little break then we were good to go again.

I could feel when to push with an epidural, it was like a big pressure without pain.

I also had my first baby with just gas and air, it was hell on earth. But everyone's different, I just wish I wasn't so ridiculously delusional to write no epidural on my birth plan. Midwives seem to hate you getting one, I guess as they don't give them. Just be open minded, it really doesn't matter what you do or don't do as every birth is different, just keep your options open.

My labour was more long than anything else. I was due on the Sunday 30th august 2015, I was booked in for a sweep originally on the Wednesday, but I started having contractions on the Tuesday so I decided to see if things would progress naturally. They didn't so I ended up having a sweep at 3pm on the Friday (40+5).
I got to the hospital at 9 that evening, was in the birth centre by 10.30, had my waters broken around 2am, then gave birth at 6.58am the Saturday morning (40+6).
It didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable at all and it did help move things along (the head wasn't fully engaged so things wouldn't have progressed on their own).
If I’m honest I was more physically exhausted after 4 days and nights of contractions. I think if I hadn’t been so tired I would have dealt with it better.
For pain relief I had my tens machine as long as possible, it really helped me. I started using it at home after my sweep, then took it off to go to hospital. I put it back on when I was settled in the birth centre. I also used the birth ball to try to get my waters to break which helped with pain. The birth pool was amazing, I loved being in there and would have stayed in longer and even given birth in there. But the midwife could see I was struggling and needed to rest before I had to deliver. So I had a pethadine injection so I could rest. It really helped.
I tried a bit of gas and air but it gave me a bad headache and made me feel sick so I didn’t want it. And I knew I didn’t want an epidural. I wanted as natural a birth as possible, minimal drugs.
I did tear from involuntary pushing and had stitches after. It wasn’t that bad though.
As I say for me personally it was more how long it went on than the pain. Good luck.

Well my births were completely opposite to each other (1st and 3rd very similar)

1st- He was due in the 15th, my waters went on the 11th but no contractions, went to get checked to make sure I hadn't repeatedly wee'd myself 'yeah your waters have gone, if you're not having contractions in 48 hours come back and we'll induce you"
11pm on the 13th they started with a bang! Phoned the hospital, their exact words were 'oh, you don't sound in a lot of pain stay at home.'
I phoned again at 3am in more pain, 'oh, you can still talk though you're contractions, you're not in enough pain, stay at home'
7am I start panicking about even phoning the hospital so don't breathe through the pain, phoned 999 (I know it was extreme) to tell them that I'm in labour, my waters went @6am on the 11th and the hospital keep telling me to stay at home, I'm scared can anybody PLEASE help me? The hospital phoned me within seconds to tell me to come in.
7:20 Got checked I was 4cm 🙄
Tried gas and air, it's good to bite during contractions.
12pm got checked still 4cm! Had pethadine injection. It should be sold to boxers!!! I still felt the pain but I didn't care, I was literally laughing through my contractions!
2pm Got checked again as my son's heart rate kept dropping (he was tired, so was I) still 4cm 🙄 so had a was inducted with a drip.
4pm - After staring at a canvas if a poppy that changed into a zebra and make me think I was in a zoo (Thanks pethadine) He was here!! I had 6 stitches after a vontouse delivery 6lbs 12oz.

2nd, I was told she was small, not even 6lbs. She needed to be born asap, was booked in for induction the next day (would have been the same day if it wasn't for my son). Had a pessary (a tampon with hormones to make your start to dilate) fitted at 10am no pains at all! I walked 10 miles round the hospital trying to get something to happen...Nothing. Woke up at 5am thinking I needed a wee, my waters had gone told the midwives they didn't seem bothered I went back to sleep.
6:15am I had the urge to push (or I was going to poo myself 🤣), a porter, a trainee midwife and a cleaner ran through the hospital pushing me on a bed begging me not to push until we got to the delivery ward.
6:26am She was born with NO qualified medical staff (my favourite birth as I was in control and had more experience than anyone else in the room)

3rd Had a sweep 3 weeks before she was due, I coughed my waters popped but no pain (see, similar) did the school run, cooked tea, (there were no beds available in the hospital)
44 hours after my waters went I started having pains.
46 hours after my waters going they had a bed.
50 hours after my waters going she was here! 5 minutes of pushing 0 pain relief.

Jesus! Sorry it so long!

Oh this takes me back! I could breathe through all my contractions. Meant I had to fight my way into hospital both times. Both times they agreed to examine me before sending me home, before a startled midwife agreed I was definitely in very active labour.

Regarding the gas and air, it only works if you keep it in your mouth the whole time. First labour it didn't really help and mostly made me queazy and dizzy. Second time I refused to let go at any point and was shown how to breathe with it continually in my mouth. I was admittedly tripping balls, but it also meant that much of the 5 cm dilated to holding a baby in under 45 minutes with constant rolling contractions was pleasingly taken up by some sort of confusion around corgies and a deep lagoon...

As I recall, in terms of pain, I ramped up from nothing to the sort of pain that is all consuming and makes you think you might be dying fairly fast. This is going to sound really wierd, but as an ex self harmer, I would describe the pain as a similar level to deliberately burning myself with white hot metal, only for a more prolonged period.

They remain the two absolute best days of my life. I cannot imagine feeling euphoria ever again, to the extent I felt it both times I first held my babies.

I had an epidural with my first, but ended up having a forceps delivery.

DC2 and DC3 I just had gas & air. Oh, how I loved the gas & air! It didn't make me nauseous and worked wonders for the pain, probably because I felt high as a kite on it. I'm long done with having babies now but I'd happily give birth again just to experience that high one more time

I thought I would be a total earth-mother, mindfully humming through the pain and all that jazz but in reality I was like the girl from the Exorcist, abusing everyone around me and throwing up everywhere. Pretty sure my head turned 360 degrees at one point. Bit my mother, shat myself with gay abandon, begged the midwives to kill me and take the baby. It all started off at home with candles, but didn't end that way. Miraculously, the most gorgeous, peaceful looking thing came out at the end, a thing which made sweet, contented little noises all night.

If I ever did it again, and this is my advice to you, I'd have a pain-relief plan in place. I didn't the first time round and had no pain-relief at all (admittedly like many millions of women before me through the millennia, but fuck, I was a disgrace!)

They didn’t really know why the baby got into distress - I was being monitored and all was well but then her heartbeat started to drop - and they tried everything to try force the labour to progress but it just wasn’t happening

After the emergency c section they told me my uterus was blocked and the baby never would have come out naturally - also she had herself in a funny position - she was back to back but Had turned a little to the side - they really had to tug her out of me !

@maria1995xxx
Hi Maria, sorry you're feeling a bit lonely through the process, when are you due?
I'm due in about 3 months and have started attending classes regarding the birth online. My favourite (in terms of information, style, how interesting they are (some send you to sleep)) have been the classes by Louise at ' let's talks birth and baby'. I attended class 1 on labour (completely free!) and despite saying I wouldn't pay for any classes I paid for the complex labour and birth class (£15) and loved that. Shes's funny and gives so much informative and will help you feel so much more in control and understand your options. There's loads of other people logged in those classes firing questions in the chat which stops you feeling so alone too.
Also maybe read up a bit on hypnobirthing if that haven't already. I'm not sure how much I'm taking on board but it's nice to absorb the overriding message which is that birth is not something you should feel afraid of

@maria1995xxx
PS sorry if I've repeat loads that has already been said, I've only glanced at the thread as I'm careful about reading/hearing other people's birth stories etc at the moment, as someone else said above, you do have to be quite thick skinned for this lol

@whattodo2019

No one ever told me that i between contractions, you have no pain!!! I had both my babies in water using gas and air. my two midwives and my husband never left me. this kept me very calm and i remember just listening to my body, relaxing and feeling confident.

My first baby's was 10.2lbs and my second 8lbs. Two perfect births, no tears, no stitches all very positive!

This didn’t happen for me. I had continuous pain from 2cm dilated. It was absolute hell. It’s put me off having a second child

@Conditionconditioncondition

This is my first baby and I want it all to be as natural as possible but with a good understanding of pain too

We all said this...

I didn't actually - I happily take a paracetamol for headache and GA for surgery, so didn't see why birth pain should be suffered. Only thing I was open about was waiting to request an epidural until I actually needed it. I do not believe in the biblical idea that women must suffer to be good mothers.

If I ever did it again, and this is my advice to you, I'd have a pain-relief plan in place. I didn't the first time round and had no pain-relief at all (admittedly like many millions of women before me through the millennia, but fuck, I was a disgrace!)

Millions of people through millennia have done all kinds of things, but we don't ask people to bite down on a stick for amputations any more either..

@therestissilence I don't mean this in a horrible way, but your post really made me laugh, you have a hilarious writing style. 🤣

@maria1995xxx - I’ve had 2 children and both times I used gas and air only. Its excellent for taking the edge of the contractions but it does make you feel a bit yucky and high! I wouldn’t have coped without it though.

I don’t know about everybody else but I’ve always found the peak of my contractions more painful than the pushing. When it came to pushing I was actually relieved I was able to do something to help get the baby out whereas with the contractions you just have to persevere and manage the pain. I sucked the life out of the gas and air pipe and it helped me get through the worst of it x

I don’t know about everybody else but I’ve always found the peak of my contractions more painful than the pushing. When it came to pushing I was actually relieved I was able to do something to help get the baby out whereas with the contractions you just have to persevere and manage the pain.

I definitely found this as well. I don’t know if it was a psychological thing of feeling like the pain was more productive (I know the contractions are productive of course, but it’s harder to feel progress being made), or just relief that I’d moved onto the next stage and therefore felt like it was all progressing. But pushing was definitely much better than the contractions before.

I think it depends on yo pain threshold and how long your birth is. I found the contractions very manageable but I have horrendous period pain and found the contractions weren't much different.
The contractions have breaks between them which gradually get closer together. I had relatively quick labour 6 hours and 2 hours and so managed fine without an epidural. If it had gone on for more than 8 hours I'm not sure o would have coped. I LOVED the gas and air. The trick is to just keep it in your mouth and constantly breath it in but again it doesn't agree with everyone. The best approach is to pick what pain relief you prefer and see how you go. Don't completely rule out pain relief because you may need it which is absolutely fine but you might manage it fine and if it's a straight forward quick labour, you might be able to manage with just the gas and air. Just know your options, so it's easy to choose in the moment.

@nameisnotimportant

I think it depends on yo pain threshold and how long your birth is. I found the contractions very manageable but I have horrendous period pain and found the contractions weren't much different. The contractions have breaks between them which gradually get closer together. I had relatively quick labour 6 hours and 2 hours and so managed fine without an epidural. If it had gone on for more than 8 hours I'm not sure o would have coped. I LOVED the gas and air. The trick is to just keep it in your mouth and constantly breath it in but again it doesn't agree with everyone. The best approach is to pick what pain relief you prefer and see how you go. Don't completely rule out pain relief because you may need it which is absolutely fine but you might manage it fine and if it's a straight forward quick labour, you might be able to manage with just the gas and air. Just know your options, so it's easy to choose in the moment.

I disagree that it’s down to your pain threshold. All labours are different. The pain isn’t the same for everyone, it it isn’t that some people just manage to cope better. A wide different variables can mean the pain is different for every person. For example, you had breaks between contractions, I didn’t from the very beginning due to the positioning of the baby. My labour was 6 hours long. They admitted me at 2cm due to the pain. It’s not because I lack the magic ability to deal with pain and have a low threshold. I play quite a rough contact sport and once walked around with a dislocated shoulder without realising while people tried to drag me to the hospital.

Its so difficult to say as it varies from one woman to the next, or even the same woman in different pregnancies!

I agree with the suggestion of the Positive Birth Company package which gives you lots of information and ways to help you decide what is good for you. Also speak to your midwife.

FWIW my experience was that the contractions were not too painful to start with, the first few hours they were just like fairly mild period pains. Then they started getting more painful and closer together so I used a tens machine which worked fine. With my first baby I had gas and air for the pushing but second time had nothing (no time) and it was totally manageable. But others find it very painful and choose to have other pain relief which is fine too

Yes, it's not pushing that hurts, it's crowning which is awful. But that's only a few seconds and it's right at the part that you meet your baby, and they really, really, really don't mind if you swear. Which I did at the birth my mother was not in the room!

Gaps between contractions you might get or you might not. With the first I did. With the second he was back to back so I barely had 20 seconds to catch my breath or do anything.

I disagree that it’s down to your pain threshold

I agree with this. My pain threshold is weirdly high, even medical professionals have commented on it before, but Labour was horrific. I didn't even have 5 seconds between contractions, they were constant.
I also have PCOS so am used to very horrific period pains, but they are a breeze compared to my contractions

@Chelyanne

Basically it stings like a bitch. You'll not know how you'll cope until you get there so stay open minded about options.

If you have an induction and the hormone drip the epidural will be your best friend, contractions are much worse with the drip than natural onset and it made me vomit.
I had slow labor with our 2nd of 6 days from being 1cm dilated, they took G&A off me for the pushing stage. He was 10lb 12oz and took 15 mins! to push out as his shoulders got a bit stuck, midwife had to catch him like a fast ball when he finally popped out lol. Our 3rd I dealt with the pain pretty well until I was around 8cm, then they broke my waters and the pain increased tenfold. She was out 11mins after they were broken though. After the 1st push she was crowning and the pain completely stopped which I found really weird then another 2 pushes and she was out.

Damn, is the stinging like the ripe of stinging when you accidentally cut that bit with a razor ?

@AnnaSW1

I also had no breaks between contractions. Just solid pain. But I found it manageable because I have had very painful periods all my life. I just had 2 paracetamol and no gas an air because I progressed so quickly

This one gives me a bit of hope because my periods are so bad that I can't get up sometimes have to lie on floor and also wear nothing in case I get really hot but then get shivers with it too. I hope it's not worse than this.

It's absolutely fine to ask other ladies opinions and experiences much better than just googling it :). I will share mine . So I had a sweep as was overdue by 10 days a few hours after that I felt like I needed to have my bowels opened but it felt more sudden as though I was experiencing a tummy bug / diarrhoea. I would run to the toilet thinking I was desperate for a poo but then nothing would come out ! Back and fourth to the toilet for hours doing this and it turned out these were contractions. These ramped up a lot during the night and at 7 am I went in and was told I was 7 cm . They then ran the birthing pool and I had baby 2 pm. So it was quite short really. I wasn't prepared to feel contractions in my bum/back I was always told it was waves of abdo pain which I didn't get at all! X