Found out I'm having a boy- dd will be 10. Sharing rooms????

[indigo27]

Hey
So my daughter is turning ten in October and baby is due September.
She was very keen on sharing her room with her younger sibling but we have just found out we're having a boy and partner and I don't know if this is fair to her as she's getting older etc. Of course baby will probably be in our room for at least a year so we have time to organise, I'm just a worrier!
We know we're going to need to move but atm it's not possible. She has the largest bedroom of the two so plenty of room in there just not sure....
wanted to get some reassurance from any other mummies who's children have shared- any tips? Space saving ideas?

By the time I was starting secondary school which isn’t too far away for your DD there was no way I’d want to share a room with a 2 year old. Don’t think it’ll work at all, sorry OP! Massive congratulations on your pregnancy

I shared a room with my twin brother until about 10.
I think past that age you want your own space.
I don't think at 11/12 she will want to be with a toddler waking up at night and roaming around touching all her stuff.
Could you not take the bigger room and share with the new baby until you move?

No I don't think it's appropriate sorry
I have boy/girl twins and wouldn't expect them to share past age 8 and certainly not when they get to secondary school age 11

Sex is irrelevant here. The issue is the age gap. You will probably need to keep your baby in your room until you do move. Just store his things in her room perhaps if it is a large room.
I have 3 boys, and there is a 10 year gap from eldest to middle. Absolutely no way would room sharing have ever worked with that age gap.

Think back to when you were 13. Would you have wanted to share with a 3 year old boy? His toys will be everywhere, he’ll mess with her stuff, and he’ll wake her up early in the morning. By the time she’s 14 she’ll need to do serious studying for her GCSEs and would have a 4 year old in with her.

It’s possible of course, and many people around the world all share rooms. But it’s really not ideal, and it’s likely to make your daughter’s teenage years harder than they need to be.

Honestly I’d keep the little one in with you until you can move.

Ps congratulations!

Apart from the boy/girl issue I don't think many teenagers would be happy to share with a toddler. Imagine a 3 and 13 year old sharing, can't see it making for happy families tbh. Can you not desperate the big room into two smaller ones?

5 years down the line, a 15 year old sharing with a 5 year old just isn’t practical. I’d be looking at moving or splitting the bedroom in half fairly quickly.

Options bigger house is the obvious choice alternatively swap the rooms around you take the bigger room and your son sleeps with you as a permanent arrangement / until your DD goes to university.
Or you give kids a room each and you sleep in the living room.

I don’t even think it’s the boy / girl issue, it’s the fact no teenager wants/ should share with a toddler, sorry OP. Any chance of putting up a wall if it’s a large room ?

Boy or girl, not fair on dd.
She might think she wants to share, the reality will probably be wildly different to how she has pictured it.

not appropriate - not because of the sex, but because of the age difference.

We kept the youngest in our room until she was 2.5 years but we could’ve gone until
She was a bit older. Her eldest brother moved to uni so we gained our 3rd bedroom back. Now the girls share (3 year gap) and the boy middle child has the box room.

I think you’ll have to share your room with the toddler until you get a bigger home.

Do you have the bigger rooom? Is it possible to swap and split that one in two if you cant move? Do you have a downstairs dining room that could be turned into a bedroom or a loft space?

The age gap is the more immediate issue than sex here. How soon are you planning to move?

No, this isn’t okay. Sorry. She will be starting secondary in no time. It’s not fair to expect her to deal with that plus a baby/toddler in her room waking early, all the childhood illnesses, touching her stuff, disturbing her homework. Could you divide the room at all? Or he needs to stay with you until you move.

No I don’t think that’s fair on her at all. You will need to share with the baby until you can find another solution. You chose to have another baby, so you should take any slight inconvenience associated with that, not your daughter.

Baby can stay with you for longer than a year if you aren’t able to move or split the big room. I’d start investigating options but definitely not sharing a room.

Do you have a separate dining room that could be used as a bedroom? Loft conversion? Extension?

I wouldn't have a teenage girl sharing with a young boy.

Our teenage girl hates sharing with her 3 sisters, 6 & 9 year age gaps for her. We had our twin girls in our room until they were 5 as we have quite a big room, current one will stay with us until we move house at 4 or 5 too.

Agree that it’s an age issue more than a sex issue.
I shared with 3 siblings (same age difference). I hated it. I couldn’t have friends to stay or even to visit my room.

I would put your dd in the smaller room and you share with ds.

No way! And it’s not even about the boy / girl thing; it’s about the age gap.
You can’t have a 2 year old in with a 12 year old; the two year old will wreck / eat her stuff. I wouldn’t be happy with my two year old being in a room with access to a jewellery box for example. Also, if the toddler is going to bed at 7 then she can’t use her room in the evenings?

(Caveat on the jewellery box, obviously if it’s the parents room and they are literally only sleeping in there with a baby monitor it’s fine, but my two year old has a bedroom which she can be left in unattended and it’d be a right pain not to have that)

No the age gap rather than girl and boy sharing is the issue. A 12 year old will want to read late, do homework in evening, have quiet space.
A 2 year old will probably go to sleep by 8pm

I would swap bedrooms so you have the largest with baby, and she gets smaller alone. If you buy a cot bed it converts to toddler bed and most children fit until 4-5 years. So you can just make one side of your bedroom for baby/ toddler, and your bed on other side. Under 5 usually prefer to play in living room anyway, and adults will use living room in evening when toddler asleep or napping daytime.

Then you have around 5 years before a move would be ideal

I had to share with my younger sister, 10 year age gap, from when I was 13 until I left home at 18. I hated it, I couldn't use my room in the evening as sis was going to sleep, couldn't make any noise, or have my friends sleep over. And she constantly touched my stuff. I'm still bitter about it now (I'm 34, really should be over it by now)

Yeah we defo know we need to move and most definitely wouldn't have her sharing in five years time!!!
I literally meant it might be for a couple months.
I'm sure we'll figure something out.
Thanks x