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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

MMC

43 replies

Conundrum12345 · 26/03/2021 15:14

Today in what should have been my 9 weeks scan no heartbeat was discovered. The fetus was measuring at 6 weeks (I had a scan at 6 5 and all was ok)

I have another scan for next week and the midwife said I may miscarry naturally or they will start procedure next week. I'm just heartbroken

OP posts:
Cafeaulait27 · 26/03/2021 15:17

I’m so so sorry. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, had some bleeding at 8 weeks and it was confirmed on a scan that it stopped growing at 6 weeks.

Look after yourself xxx

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 26/03/2021 15:27

Thank you. It just feels so hard as I still have symptoms. I just hope it was nothing I did wrong :(

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tipilass6 · 26/03/2021 15:34

So sorry to hear this. It won't have been anything you have done. This has happened to me twice and it's the most heartbreaking thing to experience. Nothing can prepare you for the shock. You need to look after yourself and be kind to yourself. Take care

Greeneyesbiglashes · 26/03/2021 15:41

I am really very sorry. Look after yourself Flowers you did nothing wrong ❤️

Chanel05 · 26/03/2021 15:47

I'm so sorry to hear this. You did NOTHING wrong.

I had a mmc in my first pregnancy and I too still had symptoms right up until my surgical management. I also had seen a heartbeat at an earlier scan.

Thanks
Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 26/03/2021 15:52

Thank you all. I just hope it doesn't mean we can't try again when we're ready.

I didnt think I could love something this much I only knew a short while. It doesn't seem real, but I suppose it won't until the miscarriage has happened Sad

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Madaleinerw · 26/03/2021 15:53

sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear this. Please know this is nothing you did.

I had a mmc a few years ago. It was my first pregnancy and I was absolutely gutted. Blamed myself, punished myself etc but i did everything right and these things just happen. I had such strong symptoms right up until I eventually miscarried and that just played tricks on me.

I had a scan at 7 weeks, no heartbeat and measuring 6 weeks. They repeated my scan at 9 weeks to make sure and no change.
I was given options on how to miscarry and I decided to let my body do it naturally but this took another 4 weeks and by that time I was 13 weeks and it all went wrong and needed surgery anyway. In hindsight I would have probably opted straight for surgery but I had to let my body do the right thing.

Do what is best for you and take your time to grieve and make sense of what's happening. Sending love xxx

Jeds55 · 26/03/2021 15:54

OP it was definitely nothing you have done. I hope the doctor also told you that.
I've had 2 mmc and saw heartbeat in both beforehand, although with the second was measuring far behind so knew it didn't look good. It's so cruel, having symptoms even after you know. I had a normal pregnancy with my daughter after 1st mmc and the odds are hugely in your favour that you will too.
Look after yourself, take time to grieve.

Chelyanne · 26/03/2021 16:02

Don't think you did anything wrong, some pregnancies just don't work out but that doesn't mean the next one will not.
I know it's really tough to go through but you will get through it and come to terms with the loss.
Once you are ready, good luck ttc.

I've had more losses than live births but honestly those newborn cuddles are worth the journey no matter how difficult.

Cafeaulait27 · 26/03/2021 16:19

I know that feeling. I loved the baby I lost too.

It’s dark right now but in time you will heal.

Is it your first pregnancy?

It’s not your fault at all xx

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 26/03/2021 16:26

@Cafeaulait27

I know that feeling. I loved the baby I lost too.

It’s dark right now but in time you will heal.

Is it your first pregnancy?

It’s not your fault at all xx

Yep first pregnancy. I got pregnant really soon after my coil was removed, I wonder if we left it longer would it have been ok.

If the miscarriage is happening does it start with cramping and bleeding? Does it take long? Is there anything I can do to prepare?
Just feel like I'm in limbo at the moment

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justwant2beamum · 26/03/2021 16:54

Hey @Conundrum12345 so sorry. This happened to me too, MMC with my first pregnancy. Saw a heartbeat at 7weeks then at 9 weeks no HB and baby still measured 7wks. I opted for surgical management.

Those who had MC's with their first pregnancy can you offer any positive stories? I'm desperate to TTC now xx

mia2201 · 26/03/2021 16:55

Hello, I know this heartache all too well. Lost my first one, was such a shock to discover no heartbeat at 12 week scan after seeing the perfect baby at 8 weeks. I'm so, so sorry it happened to you too. Take your time, your body did its best, nothing you have done caused it and it doesn't increase your chances to go through the same. It's really incredibly hard to get your head around the situation with everyone telling you how MMC are rare and the risk drops significantly after seeing a heartbeat, I know I was totally blindsided by it all. My hospital gave me a leaflet to take home (miscarriage management by miscarriage association). I went home, had wine, cried buckets and called my hospital to request surgical management. It was over within 48hrs, no pain, minimal bleeding and a lot of kindness from NHS staff. I was terrified about the general anesthesia but got over that fear too, I just wanted to move on. 3 months later I'm pregnant again, I'm scared but I know I can survive whatever is ahead of me. Mumsnet support from strangers made all the difference, you'll find people who've been through the same on here and some hope too. I'm sending you lots of love x

Cafeaulait27 · 26/03/2021 17:07

@Conundrum12345 I’m really sorry.

I would say just strong pain killers (some people don’t have very bad pains, but mine where really bad) and lots of pads.

Aside from that just lots of hugs and support from your partner, and do talk to people if it helps you. I found talking to my mum (who had 3 mcs) and a few friends who had had them helped. I also spiralled into researching how to prevent it happening again and made some changes/started some treatments.

I also found talking to people on here really helpful xx

Grognonne · 26/03/2021 18:27

I’m so sorry, I know what you’re going through. I’ve had three miscarriages now and they were all heartbreaking. I would recommend the surgical management route if it’s available as for me it was much more preferable to the natural one I had first. I did the same as above, had some wine, cried a lot, then had the surgical procedure. Arrived first thing in the morning and was home after lunch, the staff were lovely.

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 26/03/2021 18:45

@Grognonne

I’m so sorry, I know what you’re going through. I’ve had three miscarriages now and they were all heartbreaking. I would recommend the surgical management route if it’s available as for me it was much more preferable to the natural one I had first. I did the same as above, had some wine, cried a lot, then had the surgical procedure. Arrived first thing in the morning and was home after lunch, the staff were lovely.
I'm so sorry for your losses.

What is the medical (tablet) option like? I think I would like to be at home with my husband when it happens

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Grognonne · 26/03/2021 19:41

I’ve not had the tablet, I opted for the surgical management as i found the first miscarriage so painful as I had contractions and then bled for a week after. My husband took me to the hospital for the last two and drove me home. It was a world away from crying in pain at home, had a general and was in and out in a morning. Bleeding was also a lot less after. I felt so much calmer as well.

justwant2beamum · 26/03/2021 22:09

So sorry @mia2201 but glad to hear you're pregnant again. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy xx how long did it take you? Xx

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 26/03/2021 22:29

Why does the pregnancy not end like a regular miscarriage? And why did it end after a heartbeat was detected? I thought that meant it was all ok?

I'm just so worried now about future pregnancies. I'm 35 Sad

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mia2201 · 26/03/2021 23:04

If you listen to podcasts I recommend 'as a woman' by Natalie Crawford MD episode 16. She explains loss very well and really empowered me to try again. It took me 3 cycles this time round.
I never found out why my babies heart stopped beating but with time I accepted it, I know I haven't done anything wrong and my body tried it's best. I will never forget this and it was the saddest day if my life but I'm grateful for the chances our bodies give us to start over. I'm 35 too and not worried it won't happen. Let yourself grieve first, don't think too far in the future, day by day. Wishing you strength x

AnaofBroceliande · 26/03/2021 23:15

I'm very sorry. I had this happen and did not miscarry naturally. I had ERPC. I was nearly 37 so decided to go ahead and TTC afterwards and conceived after one period. I hope it all goes as well as it can for you Flowers.

SkyBlue20 · 27/03/2021 05:47

I am so sorry for your loss. I found out about my MMC on the same day last year - 26th March. It’s the hardest thing we’ve ever been through but I promise you that time does help. It was my first pregnancy, too.

It was the first week of the first lockdown when I had my MMC so I was made to try expectant and medical management before they’d agree to surgical (which is what I wanted). Expectant and medical didn’t work for me, whereas surgical had the benefit of being over and done with really quickly and knowing it was all over.

I remembered our lost baby yesterday with our two-week-old daughter in my arms. I got pregnant the very first cycle we tried again after my treatment and the pregnancy was perfect right the way through - though of course filled with so much anxiety due to our last experience. It can happen.

Look after yourself and know that it was nothing you did that caused it and there’s nothing you could have done to stop it, it’s one of those horrible things. Like I say, time will help, but in the meantime do exactly what you feel you need to - for me it was eat Easter eggs in bed and cry a lot.

I hope everything else goes well for you and am sending you lots of strength. Xxx

Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 27/03/2021 06:41

@SkyBlue20

I am so sorry for your loss. I found out about my MMC on the same day last year - 26th March. It’s the hardest thing we’ve ever been through but I promise you that time does help. It was my first pregnancy, too.

It was the first week of the first lockdown when I had my MMC so I was made to try expectant and medical management before they’d agree to surgical (which is what I wanted). Expectant and medical didn’t work for me, whereas surgical had the benefit of being over and done with really quickly and knowing it was all over.

I remembered our lost baby yesterday with our two-week-old daughter in my arms. I got pregnant the very first cycle we tried again after my treatment and the pregnancy was perfect right the way through - though of course filled with so much anxiety due to our last experience. It can happen.

Look after yourself and know that it was nothing you did that caused it and there’s nothing you could have done to stop it, it’s one of those horrible things. Like I say, time will help, but in the meantime do exactly what you feel you need to - for me it was eat Easter eggs in bed and cry a lot.

I hope everything else goes well for you and am sending you lots of strength. Xxx

Thank you so much for this message. It really touched me and sitting here in floods of tears reading it.

I'm so happy you have your beautiful daughter now.

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Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 27/03/2021 06:43

@AnaofBroceliande

I'm very sorry. I had this happen and did not miscarry naturally. I had ERPC. I was nearly 37 so decided to go ahead and TTC afterwards and conceived after one period. I hope it all goes as well as it can for you Flowers.
I'm so happy to hear you conceived straight away. Did you have to wait a few days for the ERPC after your follow up appointment. From what I read here it seems to be a good option for healing.
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Original poster
Conundrum12345 · 27/03/2021 06:44

@mia2201

If you listen to podcasts I recommend 'as a woman' by Natalie Crawford MD episode 16. She explains loss very well and really empowered me to try again. It took me 3 cycles this time round. I never found out why my babies heart stopped beating but with time I accepted it, I know I haven't done anything wrong and my body tried it's best. I will never forget this and it was the saddest day if my life but I'm grateful for the chances our bodies give us to start over. I'm 35 too and not worried it won't happen. Let yourself grieve first, don't think too far in the future, day by day. Wishing you strength x
Thank you so much. Wishibg you all the best of luck on your journey xx
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