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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy for the larger woman!

51 replies

missvicki · 08/11/2007 16:32

HI, i've just registered with mums net and really to get some support. I'm a first time mum to be and i have to admit i am alot over weight (morbidly Obese).

Really i suppose what i'm looking for is are there other women out there that have mangaged to have perfectly normal pregnancies while carrying extra weight as all my midwives and doctors have scared me a little with statistics on blood pressure problems and need for c-sections.

The pregnancy wasn't excatly planned but i am happy and really want my baby to be healthy just wish people would keep making me feel bad because i'm over weight!!!

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NorthernLurker · 09/11/2007 14:17

missvicki - glad you feel a bit better. Don't let your self esteem take a knock over this. You are doing a great job and will be a wonderful mum to your lovely baby. I found Sheila Kitzinger's book on pregnancy and birth really good by the way. Can't say I embraced all her ideas but what it did for me was make me realise that I was designed to give birth to and nurture my child. Fat or thin - that is what we are designed to do. Ok sometimes we run into hitches but more often than not the good design wins out!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 09/11/2007 14:19

Hi vicki, just wanted to add my own two-penneth. I'm a size 26 too, bmi of 53 and had my baby three months ago. Some health professionals were nice and positive about it, some were shitty and awkward about it. They shovelled me off to see a consultant, who expected me to have high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, a 15lb baby and an inevitable caesarean. He mentioned my weight about five times in the first minute.

As it was my blood pressure was perfect throughout (better than my midwife's in fact!) my GTT test came back normal, all urine and blood tests normal- and GOD did they like testing me- seemed like they were determined to find SOMETHING wrong with me so they could say "aha, that's because you're FAT!"

I also had several growth scans throughout the pregnancy as they expected him to be the size of a small rhino- and even despite all scans showing he was spot on normal size, my midwife still took pleasure in patting my (enormous, mainly due to fat!) bump and saying "ooh you have a whopper there"

My "whopper" was born at a petite 7lb 2oz.

They carted me off to see the anaesthetist who said "come in at the first twinge for an epidural. You'll need it early as it's so difficult to place when you have fat on your back" and he also implied that it'd be better to have one put in early anyway because of the high likelihood I would need intervention or a section.

The midwives however seemed to think I'd be fine... and I was! I didn't go in early to have the epidural (I didn't want doctors sharpening knives behind me when I suspected I'd be ok with a normal vaginal birth) I had my baby just with gas n air after an 11 hour labour, though they did insist on me being on my back on the bed with an internal fetal monitor because external monitors don't work very well through a fat tummy, and especially not when you're having contractions as you move about.

The only problems I had with being fat during pregnancy were:

  • SPD (Symphysis pubis disfunction) this is absolutely not restricted to ladies of size, but my weight, and the weight of the baby and extra fluid etc put extra pressure on my poor afflicted pelvis and at the very end I could barely walk. But there's no guarantee anyone will get this!
  • The scans were blurry and on occasion the sonographers were a bit nasty about my weight as if I had gained the weight just to make their job more difficult BUT to look on the positive side, on the consultants orders I had about 5 or 6 scans rather than the usual 2, and it's always nice seeing your baby!

-Depending on your shape, people may not notice you're pregnant (so you won't get offered a seat on the bus or have people spontaneously congratulate you) I went to get my hair cut on my due date and nobody knew.

But there are other positives too. From start to finish I gained 7lbs because on finding out I was pregnant I ate healthily, and I was back in my "skinny jeans" (hohoho) within a week! Plus you can use your regular clothes as maternity clothes (smock type tops are particularly good) as they're usually roomy and stretchy anyway.

Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS!! Don't expect the worst and don't let the medical professions attitudes get you down, you aren't stupid or wrong to get pregnant, you deserve to be a mother as much as anyone else, and a you'll be fine.

Jenkeywoo · 09/11/2007 14:32

Can I re-iterate about the larger size blood pressure cuff - I had 'high blood pressure' in my first pregnancy which led to me having to go to the high risk unit and ended up with a very medicalised and traumatic birth. A week before due date another midwife noticed the cuff size and found a larger one and lo and behold my blood pressure was normal! but by then the decisions had been made and I still had to go to the high risk unit.

The medical profession is generally very 'fattist' - my friend is very big but is an ex-rugby player and is strong as an ox and very healthy. In our area you can't go to the midwife led birthing unit if your BMI is over a certain point so my friend had to go to high risk unit and ended up like me with a very distressing birth.

But after all that we both have healthy babies so I guess that's what counts really. Good luck with everything, and be prepared for stares - you know you can get those awful t-shirts for skinny paranoid women saying 'I'm not fat I'm pregnant' - I always wanted one saying 'I'm fat and pregnant'! People used to stare like I was an enigma - woah, fat pregnant person, that means someone must have actually had sex with her..!

macdoodle · 09/11/2007 14:38

Huh agree with the way medics treat you....I had actually got my BMI down from 39 to 28 before I got pregnant I didn't book in till 17 weeks and my weight had gone up (no surprise) so my BMI was back up to 32...I got a lecture and a referral to the pregnant slimming world group ...cheek no comment on well done for losing 4 stone to start with

bonkerz · 09/11/2007 14:48

i am also a size 26 and my sister is a size 30. I have had 2 pregancy's, first one fine had trouble delivering but that wasnt my size as at the time i was a 16. My last pregancy i was a size 24 and actually lost weight whilst pregnant. I had an elective c section due to many things none related to my weight and everything went well. Expect alot of comments about your weight though. I was constantly told that my weight meant i could get diabetes and that it could prevent scan being clear etc. I never had this problem but just be aware of things. My sister has always been a size 30 and has 4 kids. All natural births without difficulty and all the way through her 4 pregnancies she had to put up with comments about her weight. She did struggle slightly with the scans being clear but had sypathetic scanners who took there time.
Good luck, relax, eat healthy (although if oyu are like me oyu already do!)

Hoonette · 09/11/2007 15:05

I was very overweight with my first, but I have to say that no healthcare professional batted an eyelid over it! I had one consultant appointment because of my BMI, and after that it was never mentioned. They let me book in to a low-tech birthing centre and I had a totally complication-free birth. In fact, I kept mentioning my weight to the midwife and she just wasn't interested - she said it didn't matter. I feel very grateful for this after reading all your posts.

Sarahjct · 09/11/2007 16:49

Sorry Paula, yes GTT is where you drink the yucky drink. They told me they had put me down for one because my dad has diabetes but it's also offered if you have a high BMI as well so they got me from all angles! Didn't work though as I'm still here and still eating choccy LOL!

The funny thing about being pg and self conscious, as I was saying to DH recently, is that for the first time in my adult life, I don't mind being seen in public. I usually have huge issues and imagine everyone is staring at me. I tend to hide away a lot, but now, I love being out and hate the fact that I have to cover up my huge stomach. I think I'm going to find it very hard in the couple of months after the birth when baby bump has flattened out and it's just me again.

Oh, and for the 'looking more fat than pregnant days', I found the London Underground 'baby on Board' badges were great. I've stuk one on my bag and they're small, discreet but everyone notices them. I do work in London but think I would still ring them up and ask for a couple to be sent to me even if I lived in the Outer Hebrides - they're great.

PrettyCandles · 10/11/2007 06:28

I refused to do the GTT because I don't see the point in having a label forced upon me, and thus being restricted in my birth choices, for no good reason. It would have been a different matter had I not been able to control my blood/urine sugar through diet, as the baby's health might then have been at risk.

Remember, just because your risk of XYZ is higher than average, it does not mean XYZ will happen to you.

RGPargy · 10/11/2007 09:41

Hiya

Haven't read the entire thread, but just wanted to say that before i was pg i was a size 22 (or there abouts). My BMI was over 40. I was referred to the consultant purely for this reason.

However everyone has been lovely with me, my blood pressure has been fine throughout, my GTT was normal and my midwife is very enthusiastic about my home water birth.

I have to say that i have had a really easy pg (this is my second). When i was pg with my son (who's now 17!!) i remember feeling quite rough alot of the time and i was about 4 stone lighter.

This time however, the pg has been a breeze. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable now (37 1/2 weeks) but that's normal to someone almost at full term!

The very best of luck for your pg and dont let anyone make you feel shit for being overweight and pg. You'll be fine.

SHEENA1 · 10/11/2007 10:10

i think doctors try to scare us all doesn't matter what size we are i am a big person and pregnant with my 2nd baby but i have been told not to lose weight as its not good for baby but all my scans and blood tests have been fine i think its better to have a consultaint led pregnancy at least you know there is someone thereif anything does happen to go wrong .

NorthernLurker · 10/11/2007 11:13

PrettyCandles - that is exactly how I felt about the GTT. It was very plain that just the being booked in for it led you down a whole different path! They do seem very keen on them at my local hospiatl actually. I've met other non-overweight people who have been booked for them for a variety of reasons and I understand that the staff in the lab feel they do far more here than they would elsewhere (obviously they process the results)

positive · 10/11/2007 16:21

hi,

found my experience with hosp better than that of one of the doctors in my gp surgery.
when my dr's confirmed my pregnancy he told me i should not put on ANY weight at all, i was 16 4. when i went for my booking appt at hosp the mw had to refer me to the consultant as i'd gone up to 17 stone and my bm was over 35 which is automatic referal at my maternity unit. the mw was great as she just said so what - look at me - she is a larger mum also!! saw the consultant - he looked at my notes and that was it.

cant believe some staff can be sooo mean to you we have as much right to have a baby as anyone and size should not matter, we will still love and cherish our babies and thats what matters.

good luk with the rest of your pregnancy

PrettyCandles · 10/11/2007 21:54

I don't get why, if you book in late - after 20w, say - some hospitals weigh you and calculate your bmi from your pregnant weight. Surely it's your pre-pregnancy weight that matters as far as bmi is concerned?

missvicki · 13/11/2007 17:36

Thank you to everyone who posted, i saw my midwife today and due to some of your comments was confident enough to talk to her about how other proffessionals had treated me and my worried about birth, interventions and c-section. Have to admit she was really nice about it appointment lasted over an hour and we talked through every possibility and she's going to write a letter to the hosiptal in question and put it in my notes that i wish to be treated like any other normal pregnant woman!!

So just thought i would fill you guys in on that as talking on here and reading your posts of your own experience was really helpful and i didn't feel so alone!!!

Also heard the heart beat for the first time today it was amazing!!!

OP posts:
Macdog · 13/11/2007 17:51

That's really great news, Missvicki!
Glad we've helped you.

Bet you're still grinning from hearing that heartbeat !!!!

Good luck with the rest of your pg and here's hoping for a safe and happy delivery, x

PrettyCandles · 14/11/2007 06:27

Oh it's wonderful hearing the heartbeat . Glad you're feeling confident. You cannot always dictate what happens in pregnancy and labour, but being confident has a major influence. Good also to have a sympathetic midwife.

ninedragons · 14/11/2007 07:32

"she's going to write a letter to the hosiptal in question and put it in my notes that i wish to be treated like any other normal pregnant woman!!"

Shame on your hospital for needing this to be pointed out to them. How dare they treat you any other way!

Sometimes I really bloody despair about the medical profession. I am a robustly healthy size 16, and honestly, at my first antenatal appointment you would have thought I was a homeless alcoholic crack whore. I was also - shock horror - 35, so that gave the doctor two sticks to hit me with.

I considered switching hospitals after the first appointment because I wasn't going to have some skinny btch tell me I was 10 years too old and 3 sizes too big to have a baby, but then I thought fck it, Mother Nature evidently thinks I'm not too old/big to have a baby and She's infinitely more qualified than some doctor.

I am quite smug that I am now at 29 weeks without a SINGLE hitch - not a moment of morning sickness, no complications, completely normal blood pressure, glucose tolerance, I'm positively obnoxiously bouncing with health. Fortunately my consultant has chilled out about me or I would have had to sit on her and break her bones.

merryberry · 15/11/2007 08:58

see the headlines now: consultant killed by AGED homeless alcoholic crack whore crushing injuries...

spanna07 · 15/11/2007 13:06

Hi Missvicki,

Just wanted to say too that many problems in pg have nothing to do with your weight despite the scaremongering of the medical profession. I am 30wks+6 today and am overweight but not obese (BMI 28ish). In my first pg, I had very high blood pressure (it's normally low), carpal tunnel syndrome (hideous and painful condition in wrists and arms caused by fluid retention), a long labour followed by an emergency c-section for my gorgeous 9lb baby .

When I asked the midwife at my 8wk appointment about my BP this time as I am now a stone heavier, she told me it's got little to do with your weight and more to do with how your body reacts to your partner's 'foreign' genes. So far I have no high BP and no fluid retention (but am exepcting them) and have been advised I will probably need a c-section again as I am having another whopper.

I have several friends who are obese and they have had no problems at all, so good luck and enjoy it.

KelaS · 22/11/2007 21:11

Wow, I think I have been quite lucky. Am 31 weeks, BMI of over 40, size 24-26, and my weight has never been brought up by any health care professional. Have had all my care with midwife or GP (routine at my surgery), no problems with scans, no GTT. Only thing is they won't book me into the midwife led unit due to BMI, but if I have no complications by 36 weeks (haven't had any at all so far), they are willing to discuss it.

Can someone tell me though exactly what sort of complications they are worried about during labour - ie why is there a higher rate of c-section? What else can be complicated by being overweight?

helerobe · 10/12/2007 13:39

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themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 10/12/2007 13:40

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franfoxy2003 · 10/12/2007 19:37

I myself am overweight only 5'3" and a size 16...not putting that in stonne lol! when i had my miscarriage in june I thought it could be down to my weight but i was told it had no relevance at all. I am now 5 weeks pregnant and still the same size i was in june and i do worry about my weight but i only eat my 3 meals and if i need something else I have some fruit.

before I had my DS in march 2006 I was a nice size 10 but after i had him it just ricketed. My BMI is 37 but please huni dont let doctors etc ruin your pregnancy by giving you grief over your weight as long as you and baby are healthy then try not to worry too much.

shortshafe · 11/12/2007 11:34

Hi all - am 8 weeks pregnant and have dd 13 months - am 5ft2 and weigh 14 1/2 stone - my BMI is about 38 I think and I wear a size 18.

Last pg my midwife was fab and said I was an automatic referral to consultant as BMI over 35 - she had no problem with it at all and said it was wasting everyones time. I saw consultant once at 16 weeks, she took my blood pressure, pronounced me fit and healthy and never saw me again! I had no probs at all until 39 weeks when my blood pressure shot up and I got pre eclampsia.

I did end up with a cesarean but I'm convinced it was because I was induced then strapped down on a bed with internal monitors and a drip. great.

My midwife said vaginal birth is more difficult in overweight women due to vaginal fat deposits? My fanjo doesn't feel fat to me or dh!!

paulaplumpbottom · 11/12/2007 11:39

I am a size 16 and my doctor hasn't even mentioned my weight yet. I keep waiting for it to come up as I know I'm overweight

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