What will make having a newborn easier

[nellly]

Hello all, I'm just coming into the second trimester with my first pregnancy, now that I'm starting to believe this will happen I'm getting nervous about surviving the newborn phase!

What are the lifesavers and what can I do without?
We have a spare chest freezer in the garage and I plan on freezing some easy meals to re heat but not sure where to even begin.

Is there anything that will make it less hellish?

I haven't had my baby yet, but the things I've been told are important are definitely prepping food and getting some nice comfortable things to wear that make you feel good.

I've made about 6 different kinds of soup, some stews, curries, chillies, a few cottage pies and lasagnes. I've chopped up things like peppers and got plenty of frozen veg and prawns for easy stir frys.

Loads of comfortable lounge and night wear. A few loose dresses if I want to get out. A sling. A few box sets, some books on my Kindle. Big knickers - one pack in two sizes up, one pack in one size up, and one pack in my normal size. We've also bought a really fancy hamper of things I've not been able to eat that I'm really looking forward to - that's more of a treat but it's a nice little thing to do. DH is deep cleaning twice a week as well as tidying. Probably a bit ott but it's nice to know I'm ready to go whenever.

Obviously I've got other baby things in preparation and I'm reading up on as much as I can, but these were things I could "do" easily and it's definitely made me feel a bit more relaxed.

A sign you can pop on the door that says do not disturb baby sleeping
Use whenever you don’t want to be disturbed.

@nellly

Hello all, I'm just coming into the second trimester with my first pregnancy, now that I'm starting to believe this will happen I'm getting nervous about surviving the newborn phase!

What are the lifesavers and what can I do without?
We have a spare chest freezer in the garage and I plan on freezing some easy meals to re heat but not sure where to even begin.

Is there anything that will make it less hellish?

Please don't believe all the bad stories you hear on Mumsnet - not all newborn babies make your life hell.
Don't overplan, see how it goes. Congratulations

Bookmarking

Everything said above here, including allowing expectations of yourself to just drop for the first 3 months. Do nothing but hold and feed baby, make sure others help with the rest.

If you want to breastfeed join some Facebook support groups in advance so you have somewhere to get help. "Can i breastfeed in it?" and your local LLL group are good places to start

Yes to drinking water. I'm a bit useless at that and really feeling the effects with a 4mo and 3yo at home

We had a book called something like 'your baby week by week'. It was one of the most useful early purchases we made, even though we'd been through NCT classes and had read a lot on the Internet before having DD. It provided ranges rather than giving off that 'your baby really should be doing x by now' vibe, and it was specific enough that we found useful information each week.

I know people are saying be strict on visitors, but I personally loved seeing family and friends and welcomed them in, to stay for as long as they could! Yes, set boundaries if you have people in your life who are a pain but don't push people away and accept any help that comes your way. It's a tough time but it's a lovely time, and I have lovely memories of my tiny daughter spending time with my family!

absolutely batch cook now, including some desserts if you can!

If you're planning to breastfeed, when baby comes have a glass of water and some snacks like dried fruit and nuts in a bowl in every room you're likely to be in. If you're planning to.formula feed and can afford it, grab some prepare bottles of your chosen formula (the small ones) to use rather than faff with making up powder formula in the early days.

When physically able to, I highly recommend getting for a little walk every day, even if its just 5 mins to the end of the road, it does wonders.

You can never have too many muslins!

As pp said, expect to spend the first months "babymoon"ing.

Personally I didn't find it too hellish, though I was very lucky that we had a late June baby and dh is a teacher so I had tonnes of support for the first 3 months. Accept help wherever offered - in the gap between paternity leave and summer hols, I had dm or dmil pop in to help, and not just to hold baby, guests can make tea too.

The other thing i would say is that for many women, the rush of instant love on birth doesn't happen, it's more of a slow burn. I spent the first 2 weeks of ds life worried I didn't love him enough, then suddenly it clocked that I would do absolutely anything for this tiny life. Try not to put too.many expectations on yourself.

'Your Baby Week by Week' is great - just reassuring to check in and see what's happening in their tiny brains at a given time. There are a couple of developmental leaps when they can seem to go backwards in sleep etc and it's helpful to be warned about that (though not every baby goes through it).

We also found 'Your Toddler Month by Month' a useful guide when we got to that stage. Just don't take it as absolute gospel that they will do everything in the order the book says - our DS was slower to start talking but faster to start jumping than the book suggested, for example.

A supportive and helpful partner is the number one thing as pp said. Someone who will

• take the baby so you can go back to bed
• get up in the night to do feeds or sit with you in those early difficult days of breastfeeding
• take over cooking, cleaning etc especially in the early weeks
• continue to do their half of parenting for the next 18+ years

On top of that Netflix and Amazon prime Lanolin if you’re breastfeeding and friends to cook you meals

A carrier. And don't stress about sleep. You can survive with very little. Just go with it!

As in every thing in life be prepared!! Fill the freezer with loads of homemade dinners that you can just take out and defrost, chilli, spaghetti bog sauce, shepards pie, lasagna, moussaka, cottage pie, homemade soup.

Also declutter , spring clean, and organise you home to a inch of it life!!

Then when baby comes take as much help that is offered.

Then just enjoy your baby!! The first year is so special and goes so quickly!! You will never get that time again, but that cleaning will always be there!! So the more organised you are before you baby arrives the easier it will be.

Supportive partner
Lots of ready made carby meals and prepped veg, nice fruit, good tea/coffee, biscuits. One forged had a “no entry without pie” rule for visitors. Supermarket delivery membership to support this!
Low standards
No expectations
A washing machine. A dryer would be a bonus.
Lots of PJs
A sling
Amazon Prime

'I spent the first 2 weeks of ds life worried I didn't love him enough, then suddenly it clocked that I would do absolutely anything for this tiny life.'

Aww. That's brought back memories of when DS was about a week old. DH and I discussing how we had never loved anything as much and didn't care about anything anymore and would literally step in front of a bus in a heartbeat for DS. Still would. He's the only thing that really matters in the end.

These are brilliant thank you all.
I'm lucky to have a wonderfully supportive partner who is very keen to be hands on. He's stepped up round the house and even hired a cleaner so we could spend time together just bonding when he's not at work.

Will have a look at donut cushions and slings too dh has already been Googling daddy t shirts with a built in sling so he can have skin on skin with baby too when he's not working